A Sign of Change

I've been told that I'm pretty aware of my emotions, and I'd have to agree. I don't always understand why I feel a certain way, but I do my best to figure it out. As part of this self-exploration, I've found that I behave particular ways when something is changing in me. We probably all do this...it seems normal. When I start to notice the behaviour I get a little anxious over what might be brewing. It's not a disturbing anxiety, more like a quiet excitement.

The last three days I've done all the dishes by hand. We have a dishwasher, but washing the dishes by hand is one of my red flag actions. I tend to stir up the suds more often when there's something on my mind that I need to work out but am avoiding. To be honest, it's the case now. Somehow the warm, bubbly water calms me and I have the time to think. I'm not sitting for the kids to climb all over and I've gotten pretty decent at ignoring the children ducking between me and the sink or crying at my leg. (If the crying continues for some undetermined time that is "too long" I will dry my hands and attend to the goings-on around me.) It's a good "me-time" activity...and I enjoy it.

Even though I know I need to contemplate what's on my mind and make the changes that hand washing the dishes predicts will happen soon...I'm not going to just yet. Change isn't always easy and I appreciate a little time to myself. So, since spa day isn't in my horizon, dish pan hands will suffice!