Being honest with me

Remember my one word goal for 2011?  If not, and you've got some time on your hands, feel free to go scan that post.  The gist of it, though, is that rather than setting a making a resolution for the New Year, I'd simply set a motto to live by.  My guiding concept for this year is "be."

I want to be present and focused and in everything I'm doing.  I must say that eight months ago I didn't foresee the life I'd have right now.  I thought I'd be "being" in a whole different way.  As I took a few minutes to reflect on this the other night, what I originally thought of as failing in my goal I realized wasn't. 

Reality Vs. Fantasy

The sky's the limit...right?  We can be whatever we want to be.  Isn't this the message we give our kids?  One of my dreams is to be a published writer.  It's one of the reasons I started this blog.  A couple years ago I took a course to finesse my style and learn how to submit my work.  I got great feedback and improved a lot.  Most importantly, I really enjoyed it!  And, although I haven't been published yet, it's still a dream of mine.  A maybe someday sort of thing.

Right now, though, there's reality.  Sure I could be working an article right now rather than posting on here.  but the reality is that I'm tired.  I've got a lot on my plate and all of it is important to me.  And more important than that "being a writer" dream. 

One of the great things about my busy reality, though, is that I get the opportunity to write in my life.  And I'm getting compliments about it.  I haven't thought a ton about submitting works in a several months.  But with the positive feedback that I'm getting, and completely unsolicited may I add, I'm thinking about my dream again.  And it feels great to dream!

So, a goal of mine for this summer is to figure out a way to write more for my publishing fantasy.  I'm not going to go so far as to make a goal of actually submitting or anything crazy like that!  But I do want to get reorganized and focused and maybe put an hour a week or something into developing ideas and writing drafts.  I've got a ton of ideas, so it'll be wonderful to spit them out on paper. 

I'll try to keep you posted, but please check in with me and see how I'm doing with bringing my dreams to life.  I'd love to hear how you're living a dream or working toward one too.  Do share...

Luckily I'm Good Company

I've been wondering lately if being the only one to comment on my own facebook status qualifies as talking to one's self.  Or is it more like journaling?  What do you think?

As I pondered that very deep topic I also wondered about my blogging.  It's definitely a journal of sorts, but also written for others.  However, when I don't get feedback...am I really just talking to myself?

How Do You Do It? (Prayer)

I once asked a friend if he prayed.  His answer, "I don't know."  I laughed.  That probably wasn't the proper response, but I asked how you can not know if you pray or not.  When we talked about it more, I found out he wasn't sure because he doesn't drop to his knees and press his hands together.  So he wasn't sure if his thoughts to God counted as prayer. 

In a group I was part of in the past, many people didn't like to pray out loud.  They didn't think they were good at it.  Part of me understood, but part of me also wondered, "Can you really be bad at prayer?"

And, recently, I've found myself pondering what we pray for.  Should we be praying for our hopes, wants, goals?  When should we pray?  Why?  How?

So, I decided to write about it here. Again, let me say I'm not an expert.  But I believe in the power of focusing energies and thinking positively...in the power of prayer.  And these are my thoughts on prayer...

To begin with, I believe that God is everywhere.  I believe the wind blowing the leaves in front of me is God's little hello to me.  I believe a phone call from a friend or a hug from the kids when I need it is a helping hand.  I believe His energy, His spirit is surrounding me and supporting even when I'm not paying attention.  So, my prayers tend to be less formal and more like on-going chats.

I don't think praying requires a specific format.  It's a conversation between me and God.  It can happen any place, any time.  Sometimes that may mean praying with a bible quote in front of my or with music in the background.  Other times that may mean passing thoughts while I dash here and there, ushering the kids around. 

I do think that there can be lackluster prayers and more passionate, focused prayers...like anything in life.  Sometimes I say "I love you" without thinking about it.  Other times, those three words can pack a punch, having been really formed from strong emotion more than habit.  

I pray for many reasons, too.  Perhaps my most frequent prayers are for the health of those involved whenever I hear sirens.  I like to clarify that "health" may mean something different to God right then, than it traditionally means to me.  I don't pray that part every time...I figure God's heard it enough from me, He knows what I mean!  I also pray for my friends and family, that God's watching over them even if they're not looking for Him.  And I pray for myself. 

Recently I've been focusing on saying prayers for God's will, not mine.  This occurred to me because I found myself in a situation that I wasn't sure what I wanted the outcome to be.  I was praying about that...for some clarity...when I realized it doesn't matter so much what I want to have happen.  It's not in my hands. 

Sometimes I pray using words that others have written.  Devotionals, the Our Father, creeds, are all pre-written tools that can be helpful to use, especially when we're stuck or not feeling "into it" at the time.  Often I pray using my words.  I like to say, "Hi!" to God.  I like to thank him for experiences, reminders, little joys.  Those greetings are how many of my prayers start. 

And that, my friends, are my raw thoughts on prayer.  I'd love to hear how/what/why/when you pray??? 

Blog Hop 2010

Who doesn't love a few minutes or a few days spent cruising the internet "meeting" incredible people who blog for this reason or that? I know I do. That is, when I have time to sit idle. (More on why that might not be the case in a second.)

Pensieve is hosting today's fun! So head to her site and make some new friends!

As for me...it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm a Navy wife, stay at homeschooling mother of three, and aspiring writer*. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Our kids are 7, 5, and 2 1/2. Mostly, they're good kids. Mostly, we're good parents. We all have our moments!

Feel free to wander through my blog...you'll read about everything from our parenting styles, our kids, eating and playing according to the Primal Blueprint, the Navy...you know...our life.

Enjoy!

(*A little note about being an aspiring writer...I haven't actually submitted anything to anyone in about six months. Life has been busy, and fun, so this little dream has taken a bit of a back seat, except on my blog! Someday when I do get published and become famous - you can all say you knew me when...)

Helllllooooo Out There!

Hey there, everyone. How are ya'll on this fine Tuesday-after-a-holiday-weekend morning? I'm good. I'm sitting on an exercise ball, typing away on my husband's computer, while listening to Fitz in the Morning on the Wolf - a radio station that Scott loves out of Seattle. He's getting into the Pacific Northwest state of mind. (It's been so long since I've typed that I just had to think about writing "husband's." I first wrote it "husbands" then stopped before adding the apostrophe and talked myself through it. "I only have one husband and this is his computer." That's when I backspaced the original s, added the apostrophe, and retyped another correctly spaced s. Do you backspace or delete when you make mistakes or use the mouse to go back and make your corrections?)

Wow. I'm all over the place! I guess that happens when you're sitting on a ball!

Anyway, what's everyone else up to? Scott and I have left the monkeys with any number of relatives (THANK YOU relatives!) and we enjoyed a ride in the new truck out to Connecticut where I'll be hanging out during his last week of school. Did you know he got a new truck?

Well, there she is! If you've known us for very long you're probably wondering why this truck isn't green. Our last 5 or 6 vehicles have been some shade of green! But this is a really sharp grey and we saw another one on the road yesterday with black on the bottom and over the wheel wells...sharp. We haven't named her yet, either. Roxy (the old truck) was a part of our lives for so long, longer than our actual children, that we feel a proper mourning period would be good. Not really. We just haven't found the perfect name yet! Gotta get a feel for her first.

So, as far as the rest of my life...things are good. The kids and I spent 5 nights at Scott's brother's house. Jared's fiance has horses and the kids loved the farm. All three of them road ponies. Actually so did I! It was a lot of fun. I'll post some pictures after I figure out how to get the pictures off my camera. I can't find the cord right now and the camera card doesn't fit in the computer. Sometimes technology is a pain! But, anyway...we had a great time. Grandma and Grandpa Gebel and Scott came a few days after us and we all relaxed in our own way.

Jace explored all the nooks of the landscapes of the farm. Gracie played with Kate's hair every chance she got. Kate is the soon-to-be-aunt with horses, and really fun hair! Tyler loved the neigh-neighs, tractors, and many fire trucks. Scott's brother is a fire fighter. Kate and Jared have a very fun dog too, that we all enjoyed playing catch with. Scott, Jared, and Tom (their father) spent their time working on the farm, fixing fence, baling hay, creating the framework for a large door that will be going in the 100-year-old barn. It should be restated that they were relaxing. All three of our guys really like manual labor. I, for one, am not complaining.

As for me, I read, cooked, ate, talked and ended just about every night in the hot tub. That's my idea of vacation!

Hopefully the rest of you have found a few moments to do what you enjoy recently too. I know a lot of homeschoolers are finishing up their year...hope it's gone well. I'll slowly be making the rounds to read blogs from the past week or so during this week. Can't wait to hear how it's gone. I also have pictures to look at from my cousin's wedding that we couldn't make it to, shopping to do...and not just for me, and some peanut butter cups to eat. Well, I have a project to do that will require them (not for any of you...sorry) and then I'll eat them!

I'll try not to be gone so long this time...but no promises...I'm still on vacation!

Blog Party!

Found something new...and very cool! Let me tell you about it (the new and cool thing) and a little about myself.

I'll start with me...I'm a stay at home Navy wife and well-educated mama. My husband and I grew up a mile from one another and got married after I graduated from college. I have a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and now I'm a mom and wife. I have almost 10 years under my belt as a military spouse, almost 7 as a mom.

We have three children. Jace is our oldest. He'll be 7 next month. He just got a 40 chapter book from his school library to read over the weekend. When he dove into his back pack to get it to read on the way home and found he'd forgotten it -he cried. Thankfully we were able to stop by and pick it up after picking his sister up at her preschool. Jace's personality is a mixture of high energy rascal and eager learner, with a touch of little boy still visible from time to time.

Gracelyn (Gracie) is our precious middle child, two months shy of turning five. She's joyful, stylish and loves to be helpful! However, if the girl is tired...watch out! Talk about moody! (By the way, this picture doesn't display Gracie's normal style. She's wearing her cousin's shorts, who is almost two years younger, and a sweater we keep in the car that was bought off the clearance rack even though it's two sizes too big because she always complains about being cold! I love it though - she's still posing.)

The littlest monkey is Tyler. He's an agitator, like any little brother should be, and stubborn like his father. He's got the most terrific smile, complete with dimples. As an almost-Christmas baby he gets to celebrate his half-birthday over the summer when he'll be 2 1/2.

That's the crew. With my spare time I blog about our lives - mostly the kid's antics, my observations about random things, our health and fitness goals, and my newest venture as a homeschooling mom. I enjoy writing, being in the kitchen, watching reality TV and long walks on the beach. Actually they don't even have to be on a beach...walks anywhere are great!

So, now that you know about me (at least a little) feel free to read other posts if you're intrigued. If not, that's OK too. Either way, there's more to this post, remember? Something new and cool. Well, it's the blog party!

Susan and Janice at 5 Minutes For Mom are hosting this incredible party to help blogger and non-bloggers alike meet each other and maybe even win things in the process! See...I wouldn't let you down.

You can click here to go to their post about this year's blog party. There are over 900 links to other blogs where people have introduced themselves. You'll find humor, emotion, faith, joy, and more stories than you can handle. You'll also find a link to the prize list and the rules for entering the drawings. Here are some of the things I'd love to win:

95. 0r 11. $100 gift card to Restaurants.com, given by two different contributors.

39. $250 night away at any Hilton Garden Inn

112. $50 gift card to Amazon.com (or any of the other Amazon.com gift cards!)

24. "Dahlia" framed photo

75. $100 gift card to Summit Camping Gear

There are so many more...clothes, toys, gift cards, decorations, relaxation aids, books...go look and enter for yourself!

I'll let you go on now. Not because I'm out of things to say (I can blah, blah, blah for days) but because I want to go meet some other bloggers and take 5 minutes for me!

A Little About Me

When I wrote my profile for this blog I paid attention to the order I put down Navy wife, mother, and then writer. I've made this conscious decision when describing myself in other places as well. I don't know if it's because I'm me (a deep thinker, decently in touch with my inner self) that I put the roles that have others depending on me first, or if it's because they depend on me and I put myself last. It's something to think about.

And thinker should probably be first on my list of labels.

But as it's written now, my roles as Navy wife and mother are among my most important. But they don't stand alone. If Annie isn't nurtured someplace in the mix than I'm not going to be able to be the wife and mother I strive to be. What's that saying about a tangled web? This tangle is based not on lies, though. But on truths, priorities, and love.

So, now that that's cleared up...what about Annie? What words describe me? Back in the day "unique" was frequently used. I used to dress in my Grandmother's hand-me-downs. I didn't wear them because they were all that was available to me, but because I liked the styles and colors. And I loved that they were hers. I had a favorite dress in college we fondly called "the oil spill dress." It wasn't one of Grandmas, but I loved it! It was fake velvet and colorful. I also wore my slippers to class and the grocery store. I frequently fashioned scarves into dickeys to be worn under sweaters. I certainly had my own fashion sense.

I've realized over the past few years that my creative style was just the beginning. I like things that are different. I like to take something and make something else from it. My medium used to be clothing, and might be again some day, but has also been paint on walls, pencil to paper, and currently fingers to keyboard!

When I was at 4H camp each summer we used to play an ice-breaking game where we had to introduce ourselves using an adjective that began with the same letter as our name. I always cleverly said, "Hello. I'm all of the above Annie." I think it still fits, don't you?

Unique. Creative. Clever. Mother. Wife. Colorful. Nurturer. Thoughtful. Me.

Five Words

After college I got married and moved to Washington state, where I attended graduate school. My new group of friends from grad school came to know my bestest friend from undergrad as "My Roommate Cathy." Since they didn't know her personally I always started stories about her with "My roommate Cathy blah blah blah."

(That's how I learned I had an accent. Caaathy. It's a Western New York thing I guess.)

Anyway, I have one of those stories.

My roommate Cathy and I lived together for four years. And four pretty impressionable years. One of the things she impressed upon me was the telling of bedtime stories. We'd be quiet in the dark trying to fall asleep and I'd hear, "Annie, are you awake?"

If I didn't answer she'd wait a minute and ask again. Sometimes she'd just keep talking as though I had answered. If I did answer she'd ask me to tell her a story to help her fall asleep. She probably fed me some baloney about it helping me fall asleep too because I would tire my brain out and then be ready for slumber by the end of the story. Whatever she told me I'd most often go along with her request and tell a bedtime story.

Now these weren't just any stories. She'd give me five random words and I'd work them into a cute little tale about something that left a smile on her face. I'm good like that!

I haven't done that in a while, but every time I leave a comment on some one's blog and I have to type in the word verification to post my thoughts I think about story telling again. Tonight I think I'll weave a story using some of the verifying words I've kept track of. See if you can spot all five.

Once upon a time there was a girl, Lilah, who loved to dance. She was always a little on the plump side and felt self conscious so she danced in the shadows not under the spot light. As she grew her love of dance grew with her, but somehow, maybe because she didn't dance with the full spirit of Gedisti, the Egyptian goddess of movin' and groovin', she married a wonderful man who didn't dance.

The couple lived a very fulfilling life, but Lilah missed shaking what God gave her. Even with a house full of children and chores she wished there were more time for dancing. After birthing all those kids she found herself even more...curvy, shall we say. Her husband didn't mind at all, but she wanted to get a new hessi, the latest in fashion, and wondered how to tone and tighten while cooking and cleaning.

Then it hit her! Lilah turned up the vomns while dusting and doing dishes. She swished her hips and lunged her way from room to room while sweeping and vacuuming. After a few weeks of dingybics she started to feel a difference. Lilah was lovin' life. Her hubby didn't seem to mind either. He even took her to a work party where she tore up the dance floor!

Know what was so great about that night? No, her husband didn't dance with her, but he applauded her along with everyone else because she wasn't flugin on the edge of the dance floor. She flipped, flopped, and flailed right in the center of the floor. She had her time in the sunshine, or at least the glow of the disco ball! Lilah felt great, looked fabulous, and lived happily ever after.

All In a Day's Work

I don't get a pay check. I do, however, have a few jobs. I'm a Navy wife. I'm a mother. I'm an unpublished freelance writer. The writing suffers a bit, which is why I'm unpublished as of now, but I figure it's better to put that on the back burner than my marriage or children. Good call, don't you think?

Anyway, my two priority unpaid jobs have me whipped. Thoughts about everything from education to housing pull me from slumber early in the mornings and keep me awake long after bedtime. Scott and I keep developing plans and those plans continue to be derailed. It's Monday at the office!

Sigh.

Luckily, I do love my jobs. When I dropped Gracie off at school this morning she was asked to draw something she liked and she drew a picture of me. I'm so touched, honored to be her mother.

And when they're not leaving me speechless with heartfelt, uncluttered expressions of love, they're making me laugh, chortle, and chuckle!

Tyler's got mischief in his eyes, hidden behind that thumb he's sucking on, and he just unleashes his energy every so often...it's great to watch! He climbs on anyone who sits still long enough to become a jungle gym. He's simply fun!

Jace continues to read up a storm and funnel his knowledge to us whenever he can fit in a fact about reptiles or prehistoric creatures. I've learned a lot from him, and I'm sure that will continue to be the case. Just the other day he told me that when Tyler turns 2 years old in a few months he'll "finally be able to start living his human life and not just be a baby." All this time I didn't know babies aren't human! Too funny.

So, see, it's all in a days work, being tired and feeling worn out. But at the end of that day, I have a husband who loves, trusts, and respects me. And we have three amazing, intelligent, and amusing children. There's no job worth more.

Little Things

I know I've been scarce. Life has been a bit "aaaaahhhh!" for me over the past few days. Rather than give you a blow by blow, though, here are the high lights...

The improving housing market is not improving here. We now owe more on our house than the realtor recommends listing it for and our contract is up on Saturday. So, we're taking it off the market. What does that mean for us? Well, the following:

1) I can leave match box cars on the floor and dishes on the counter.
2) The kids and I will continue to live here until the market recovers here as well as some lady on the radio news keeps telling me its doing other places around the country.
3) Scott will go to school in Connecticut in March and continue on to Washington state in July. The rest of us will enjoy Southeast Georgia living.

Gracie's feeling our stress (and we're still 5 months away from Scott leaving) and doesn't want me to leave her at school. She's gotten progressively more clingy and this morning cried. She has never cried. Gracie loves school and her friends and teachers. She's breaking my heart and I'm going to need to be stronger than I knew possible for all of us, apparently starting now.

Don't you fret, though. I'm up for it. Scott picked me for a reason, maybe a few. In this case, I'm positive, strong, focused, and creative. I'm already working on things we can do to "stay in touch" with Dada when we're not with him. And I calmed Gracie this morning reminders of all the exciting stuff that's going to fill our time for the next few months...holidays, vacations, random mom and daughter lunch dates! We'll make it...

And the market will turn eventually and we'll be ready when it does!

While dealing with all the emotions of this, Scott and I are trying to figure out the details of vehicles, money, day-to-day bicoastal living. No easy task. We'll keep you posted.

In other areas...I got my diploma from the writing course I took, but haven't published anything yet. I have three pieces in the final stages before submission, but have gotten side tracked.

My mom is slowly healing. Her focus right now seems to be on handling the MS so the injuries can get better. They're hoping to take a little trip next month, which will be tricky physically but wonderful for their spirits.

Halloween's this weekend...love me some candy. :)

OK, gonna go pick up the kids, but I wanted to let you know where I've been and how things are...until next time...

The Little Things

Scott isn't known for being mushy, romantic, or even tactful. He has improved over the years, but I do still occasionally have to ask him to repeat something in a less offensive way. Thankfully, I know he'd never say anything to intentionally hurt me, and with that comforting knowledge I can make this request of him. He laughs and tries again. What a good sport, huh?

What Scott is good at, though, is the little things. He's wonderful at kissing my forehead while I'm entranced in my writing. He has been known to rub my back, for a brief moment, when I'm working in the kitchen. And sometimes he even reaches his foot out to touch me when we've retired to our own sides of the bed. He's a good egg, too. I'm gonna keep him.

Well, today, he said something that literally took my breath away and when I thought about it later, I got a little choked up. See, I have school loans that we'll be paying on as long as any mortgage. I am taking a writing course that he encouraged me to take called "Breaking into Print" and have yet to be published. And today, when I got a letter from the school I'm enrolled in for another course focused on writing for children he didn't say "forget it" or "are you kidding?" I read the letter and said, "This could be another area to consider, but I wonder how much more it'll cost..."

"Do they take the GI Bill?" was his response. (Back story: the GI Bill is a benefit that he receives for his military service but recently became transferable to dependants, like me.)

I didn't talk for a second. It may not sound like much, but what he was saying (or what I heard) was that he believes in me. He supports my dreams. He loves me.

He's not only a good sport and a good egg...he's a darn good catch and I'm so fortunate he caught me.

Jace, The Author

Jace is so creative. He tells me he doesn't like to read books that use imagination. "I prefer non fiction." It's true he does. He just got two new books with a gift card from his birthday, one about sharks and one about the brain. He's already planning his next trip to the book store! And every time we go to the library he comes home with factual books as well, about animals, weather, and people. But don't let him fool you. He may like reading non fiction better, but I think he'd be great at writing fiction.

He has a summer journal and I keep trying to get him to write stories in there. He mostly pens songs, though. I love that! Today, in the car, he started a story and I encouraged him to keep going. Together we came up with this:

Once upon a time there was a little boy who didn't eat his vegetables. After a whole week of not eating his veggies at dinner, he went to bed and dreamed about all the foods he loved. But when he woke up...he was in a garden!

He looked around and had squash, tomatoes and cucumbers to one side. On the other side he saw carrots, lettuce and mushrooms. He closed his eyes and rubbed them. When he opened them back up, he was still in the garden! He began to panic.

He jumped up and squished a squash. Then he tripped on the tomatoes and crushed a cucumber. He cracked some carrots when he fell and tried to get up in a hurry. The lettuce wouldn't let him. It made him try a mushroom. "Mmmm," he said.

All the vegetable stopped and said, "What?"

"Mushrooms are mmmmm," he repeated. The lettuce let him go. He carefully made his way out of the garden and back to his house. He ran through the door and yelled to his mom.

"Mama! Guess what? I woke up in a garden and got scared. I squished a squash and tripped on tomatoes. I crushed cucumbers and cracked carrots. When I tried to run away the lettuce wouldn't let me and made me try a mushroom and I liked it. I like it, mama!"

Mama squatted down and smiled at her son. "Does this mean you'd like a salad for dinner?"

He thought about it, and remembered the veggies in the garden, and answered, "Yes! Can I make it?"

Writing

I make a conscious effort not to spend 24/7 on the computer. I still probably spend more time than I should. Every time I sit down I pick it up and check email and facebook, maybe a blog or two. But I rarely spend hours on it, so I think that makes my computer time acceptable! Plus, it's where I write. Sort of.

I keep my articles, in all their stages of incompleteness, on our network. I'm not sure exactly where that means they are, but someplace between the desktop and the laptop...my work is saved there! After I edit something I print it and it sits in the living room where I occasionally pick it up, read it and make changes. When Scott has to be at work overnight I spread all sorts of papers, books, and general writing stuff out in front of me on the bed and really throw myself into it for an hour or two.

Normally, though, I think my writing. When I'm in the car and the kids say something funny (which you know they do often) I make a mental note of it. When I'm cooking, baking, doing dishes, or folding clothes, I let my mind wander to my mental notes and play with the ideas a little. And when I'm in bed, waiting to fall asleep, trying to stay still so Scott can get a little rest before his alarm sings long before dawn, I really tackle my ideas, notes, edits...all in my head.

So, whether it's from lack of sleep, too many children's books, or simply my unique brand of cleverness, this is what I came up with last night: Scott hopes that I'll earn come bread (or is it dough?) from writing stories in my head while in bed. (I prob'ly should be sleeping, though.)

So? Can I make millions?