We've all heard the deep, philosophical question about which came first, the chicken or the egg. If you're anything like me, you haven't put that much deep, philosophical thought into this question, though. It's one of those things that I've always figured doesn't really matter. The bottom line is, both need the other to continue being. If there are no eggs, chickens will cease to exist. If there are no chickens, eggs won't be either. I don't really care which one came first back in the day...I see a reason to take care of both.
That's right. Both chickens and eggs need to be cared for. So, which should come first? Present tense. Right now, which one should be cared for, nurtured, loved in the now?
These are the questions that have been pestering me a lot lately.
There are so many of us mothers who think the kids ought to be first and foremost. We should put our needs on the back burner and give our all to our families. It's easy to think that if we don't jump every time they whimper we're being bad parents or neglecting their needs somehow. But I propose that taking care of us is just as important.
Just like the chicken and the egg, without proper care of both mother and child, something is gonna happen and it might not be a good thing! Scrambling...roasting...something other that well adjusted, happy, healthy poultry - or people, whichever we're talking about here.
So, perhaps the real question is, where is the rooster in all this? Something to think about, huh?
Speaking only for humans, mostly because I don't know much about birds, I think it's up to the adults to keep an eye on mom and make sure she's taking care of herself. That means there is time to grocery shop on her own, get a massage, read a book without pictures, go out with friends. There is time. There is a way. Make it a priority.
Scott and I were talking with someone recently who was saying how much crap her husband gives her for trying to get away for a few hours. This is not a problem with us. And Scott's response was a great one.
"I don't necessarily like staying home with the kids, but as long as I don't have to cook...And it's important for Annie to have that time to herself, for her sanity and mine."
Our motto (unwritten) has always been to want the best for the other and you'll end up getting the best in return. As parents, as a couple, as people - we do what we can to support the other in achieving their best. It's what we do to take care of each other. In turn, don't you think we're taking care of the kids too? (See, I didn't forget about them!) I do.
I know it can't be about me all the time, but it isn't about my eggs (turned lovely, little monsters, er...monkeys) either.
Chicken or egg?
Mother or children?