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Like all of you, I'm a number of things to a number of people...Navy wife, homeschooling mama, educated woman and aspiring writer. Read my thoughts on all of it here. Please feel free to leave your thoughts on all of it too!

Monday, January 10, 2011

be

"Be still and know that I am God."  ~Psalm 46:10

I don't think I realized that this psalm was probably in my heart when I picked my theme word for 2011.  

A little back story...I went to college at St. Bonaventure University.  Associated with the school was Mt. Irenaeus, a mountain retreat run by some friars and open to everyone for prayer, reflection, peace, and always a good meal!  Fr. Dan Riley is one of the friars who not only helps keep the Mountain be everything it can be, but he also is involved with several programs on campus.  He was a mentor of mine in many ways and even married Scott and I.  And he has been known to quote this psalm and break it down. 

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be

So, there you have it...God's speaking to me using fond memories and new technology.  He sure knows how to get to me, doesn't He?  Especially when I'm not even looking for it. 

So, I want to focus on being this coming year, including being more present and intentional in several aspects of my life...like my writing, my children, my faith.  So, how'm I doing? 

Well, as you can see...I'm writing.  I'm not sure "how'm" is really great writing, but it's what you're going to get these days!  Seriously, though, I haven't done anything to be more present and intentional in my writing.  To meet that goal I like to begin writing for publication and submitting.  Without those two steps, I'm never going to get published.  So, I'll get a move on...some time.  Not yet.  And I'm good with that.  I can only handle so much at once and I'm handling a few other things at the moment.  I'll be more in my writing before the end of the year.  Promise.

My children...well, I think I'm doing pretty well there.  We've sat and watched movies together, without my being on the computer.  We've turned off the television and played with toys or read books without distraction.  We've gone a a few family walks.  Things are improving there, not huge differences, but subtle ones that mean something to me. 

My faith is still a work in progress, as faith often is.  I don't know what religion I identify most with.  I actually took an online quiz to see where my beliefs placed me.  I know...pretty sad, right?  But the thing is that I kind of feel like I've tried to squeeze into the rules of Catholicism and it hasn't fit right for a long time.  So I thought I'd go from the other direction.  The top three answers I got were Protestant, Unitarian Universalist, and Neo-Pagan.  I haven't done much with that yet...but it's a start. 

I do have to say, though, that today's realization that Fr. Dan's breakdown of psalm 46:10 tells me something.  I'm not sure what, yet, other than He's listening.  He's there.  He hasn't walked from me and knows I haven't walked from Him.  I also think, maybe, God's telling me it's perfectly acceptable to only tackle what I can handle.  I might just be reading into things since this is one of those weeks where I'll be taking one day at a time...looking too far ahead is stressing me a bit.  So, in terms of my faith...I think it's OK with God if I'm simply at be and not sure what my path is to "Be still and know that I am God."

I'll work my way there though, in time.

Be
Be still
Be still and know
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know that I am God

2 comments:

"Say What?" said...

One of my favorite verses. I love that about God. He'll show up when you least expect it. And then you realize He had never left your side.
I was born and raised Southern Baptist. In church every time the doors open. That being said, as an adult I have so many issues with "organized religion" that it's not even funny. But my one constant has always been God. It's a personal relationship and I know you'll find your way. In the mean time, I'll be praying for you.
((hugs))

Annie said...

thank you! God and I are good. Even when I'm not intently focused on my faith, I know God is ever present in my life. I see His greetings and see His works all around me. Thank you for your prayers and your thoughts.