I've been known to say that when Scott's not around it's like I'm a single parent. I mean, let's be real...he's not here, right? I'm not alone in this comparison either. I've read about single/married spouses on blogs, heard it directly from family members and even seen it on various news shows.
I have a few friends that are single parents and they've never called me out saying, "Hey, you're off base," so I figured there was some truth to what I was saying. And, in fact, there probably is some truth. After all, like I said, he's not here.
I've begun to wonder if I haven't been called out because everyone is focused on that one similarity.
I don't know if my ramblings are making sense...but here's where I'm trying to go with this.
I am not a single mom. Even when Scott's not here I have his support.
See what I'm saying?
Last night a friend posted on facebook that she was leaving her husband after the holiday and asked for advice from single mothers. That couple got married the week after Scott and I. It hit me hard. When I've heard about others getting divorced, even parents, I've been focused on the marriage part of things, and have mourned for that. Last night, with her plea for help from single mothers, if occurred to me that she doesn't have her husband's support anymore, because she doesn't have her husband.
I have my husband.
When Scott's not here I still imagine what he might add to a conversation, how he might want to handle a situation. I might not always (in fact, probably not even often) handle things the same way he would, but I am not alone. I am part of a parenting team, even when half my team is floating in the ocean in a tin can.
So, I'm not saying that I was wrong in drawing that comparison or that everyone else is either. I am saying however, that I think our trials as military wives and parents, are different than those of single parents. Not better or worse, simply different. There are similarities, yes, but differences also.
My hope for single parents out there, including my friend who is soon to be one, is that they have support similar to that I have in my teammate, my husband, whether they find it in their parents, their friends, their siblings, occasionally even their ex's. Everyone needs that. Even super moms.