Chicken or The Egg?

We've all heard the deep, philosophical question about which came first, the chicken or the egg.  If you're anything like me, you haven't put that much deep, philosophical thought into this question, though.  It's one of those things that I've always figured doesn't really matter.  The bottom line is, both need the other to continue being.  If there are no eggs, chickens will cease to exist.  If there are no chickens, eggs won't be either.  I don't really care which one came first back in the day...I see a reason to take care of both. 

That's right. Both chickens and eggs need to be cared for. So, which should come first? Present tense. Right now, which one should be cared for, nurtured, loved in the now?

These are the questions that have been pestering me a lot lately.

There are so many of us mothers who think the kids ought to be first and foremost. We should put our needs on the back burner and give our all to our families. It's easy to think that if we don't jump every time they whimper we're being bad parents or neglecting their needs somehow. But I propose that taking care of us is just as important.

Just like the chicken and the egg, without proper care of both mother and child, something is gonna happen and it might not be a good thing! Scrambling...roasting...something other that well adjusted, happy, healthy poultry - or people, whichever we're talking about here.

So, perhaps the real question is, where is the rooster in all this? Something to think about, huh?

Speaking only for humans, mostly because I don't know much about birds, I think it's up to the adults to keep an eye on mom and make sure she's taking care of herself.  That means there is time to grocery shop on her own, get a massage, read a book without pictures, go out with friends.  There is time.  There is a way.  Make it a priority. 

Scott and I were talking with someone recently who was saying how much crap her husband gives her for trying to get away for a few hours.  This is not a problem with us.  And Scott's response was a great one. 

 "I don't necessarily like staying home with the kids, but as long as I don't have to cook...And it's important for Annie to have that time to herself, for her sanity and mine."

True dat.

Our motto (unwritten) has always been to want the best for the other and you'll end up getting the best in return.  As parents, as a couple, as people - we do what we can to support the other in achieving their best.  It's what we do to take care of each other.  In turn, don't you think we're taking care of the kids too?  (See, I didn't forget about them!)  I do. 

I know it can't be about me all the time, but it isn't about my eggs (turned lovely, little monsters, er...monkeys) either. 

Chicken or egg?

Mother or children?

Both.

I'm Awesomer Now Than I Was Then :-)

So, about a year ago I read a post on Smrt Mama's blog about identifying things about ourselves that are positive, really showing ourselves a little love and admiration.  I didn't do it a year ago.  I wasn't ready.  I did do it, though, last March.  (If you're interested, here's the link to that post.)  Smrt Mama's challenge was to identify five things each about my looks/body, my mind, and that I've accomplished without qualifying them with any sort of negative comment.  I did pretty well in March...but I can do better now. 

Answers, already!

So, if you're not following along with my fun...here's what's gone on recently...

Two posts ago I offered four cook books up in a giveaway.  All you needed to do to enter was ask a question about healthy living!  I know, not too tough!  Then, I announced the winners and gave a little background on me and my primal life over the past few years.  And that brings us to right now, when i promise to answer the winner's questions, and maybe a couple others!

1)  Was is hard to get your kids to make the paleo jump? 
Yes and no.  I switched very quickly (although I've wavered on and off and haven't been super strict in the past with social gatherings) but I worked the kids into it much more slowly.  At each step I've gotten a little (or a lot) of resistance.  But within a few days or a week, all three usually get used to the changes and stop they're moaning and groaning. 

I've only recently switched them to 100% paleo/primal foods.  They are allowed to make their own decisions, for the most part, when at friends' houses or parties.  Gracie almost immediately gets a tummy ache from eating gluten.  The boys do sometimes but not all the time.  They all act like different kids completely when they get their hands on sugar, and that includes breads that turn to sugar during digestion.  It's amazing to me and makes it clear to me that a little diet change could go a long way in the vast majority of those ADHD cases out there.  But that's just my opinion.  And, no, I don't think it would "just be easier" to let them eat crap all the time so they don't get tummy aches after pizza and birthday cake!  (Sorry, no one asked about that on my blog, but it is a comment I get from people quite often!)

Last year I did a Healthy Living Unit in our homeschool.  It was great to teach the kids all about healthy living.  They still refer to things they learned then, like getting enough sleep or finding "poisons" on labels in the supermarket.  Jace, who is eight years old, is spending the night at a friend's house tomorrow night said to me today, "I'm going to try to eat right while I'm gone.  I'll read the labels if I can.  I know I can always have fruit."  Sometimes he makes me so proud!

2)  Did you get headaches when you switched?  I heard that happens...
The only time I've gotten headaches in this process is after I get hooked on Mt. Dew again and have to detox from that crap!  I didn't get headaches when removing all the sugar and gluten from our foods.  However, while my bowels were healing from the abuse of gluten and got used to processing clean foods, I did have some loose stools and was fatigued for a while.  Sometimes it's called the low-carb flu.  After a week or two it passed, though, and I felt fine.

3)  What is the best thing you've noticed about yourself that isn't related to the size of your clothes since you made the switch to Paleo?
There are two huge changes that jump to mind and I'm not sure which is better, so I'll name them both!  First of all, I have so much more energy.  Within weeks of starting to live primally that was noticeable and has only become more so since cleaning up my food intake even more and beginning to work out regularly.  And secondly, my moods are so even now.  I still get stressed out.  I still get anxious.  I even still get angry.  But the extreme changes aren't what they used to be, and that's a good thing.  I'm happier.  I'm joyful. 

4)  How do you respond to people when they say, "Oh, you're on a diet?"  Do you look at paleo/primal as a diet?
It depends on the person and the situation, but ideally I explain that we all have a "diet."  The word simply means what we eat.  My "diet" fills me with energy.  If they're open to hearing more, I gladly tell them that my life is more than what I eat and so is being primal. 

I don't consider living primal a diet, though.  I consider it living. 

5)  Which book will give me info and help me build my personal cookbook?
Honestly, any of these would be a big help with ideas to build on!  They're great.  As for info...Paleo Comfort Foods, Make It Paleo, and Everyday Paleo all come with incredible intros - how to set up your kitchen, staples to have on hand, etc.  Paleo Comfort Foods includes a great list of websites to give you more information (all the ones that anyone who's anyone in the paleo/primal world frequent).  Make It Paleo has menu ideas for special occasions.  And Everyday Paleo has a full 30 day menu with shopping lists!  Any of these books would be great starts for someone just getting into this life.

So, that's it for now...you might remember I mentioned sleep being part of a healthy life...and it's time for me to hit the sack!  I'll be back to answer more questions soon!  Feel free to leave any other questions you have in the comments and I'll tackle them too...in time!

(2nd Round of answers)

Cook Book Winners and Some Background Details...

I know you've been eagerly awaiting the results of my cook book giveaway.  Since you're on the edge of your seats, here are the winners...

Congratulations Jaime!  Your copy of Everyday Paleo is on it's way!

Congratulations Carmel!  I'll happily hand you your very own Make It Paleo soon!

Kelly, I put Paleo Comfort Foods in the mail for you today!  Congratulations!

Congratulations Fawn!  I hope you find lots of tasty ideas in Primal Blueprint: Quick & Easy Meals!

And a BIG thank you to everyone who asked a question!  There were some wonderful questions and I'm excited to answer some!  Let's start with a little background, that will actually answer some of your questions...

This is a picture of me before I heard about The Primal Blueprint, which happened in February 2010.  I saw an interview with John Durant on The Colbert Report.  (You can read about how I first dipped my toes in the water here, here, and here.)  I've never really looked back, although I've gone back a few times!  I love so many things about primal living and the benefits far outweigh the short-lived joy of a Butterfinger, so it really hasn't been that hard of a decision. 

Here I am October of 2010.  (Obviously it's October...we don't always dress up like this!)  That's nine months since I'd first heard about this way of life.  It's also after moving across the country, living with non-primal family for a month, attending a wedding, supporting my husband as he began a new position, and beginning to homeschool our kids. 

This picture is me in April 2011.  I was feeling pretty good and getting into a job that would use my brain again - in ways being a stay-at-home-mom just doesn't, which excited me!  I was still eating almost completely primal, but the things that weren't primal, weren't good.  I was "treating" the kids and I to a candy bar every week.  I was drinking Mt. Dew daily, often more than one a day.  And I wasn't working out in any regular way.  Not formal working out, not playing (one of the rules of The Primal Blueprint). 

This shot was taken in September 2011, after getting rid of the candy and pop and beginning Boot Camp Diva (about 2 months in).  It was as part of Boot Camp that I learned about paleo.  One of you asked what the difference between paleo and primal living is.  I used to think that paleo was just the diet and primal blueprint covered all aspects of life.  Now, I realize that there's not much difference at all.  One difference is that paleo tends to not include dairy, but even Robb Wolf said in an interview that if dairy doesn't effect you adversely, then it can be acceptable.  So, I might say that they're pretty much different sides of the same coin.  

Both paleo and primal promote not only a paleolithic food plan, but also have a paleolithic perspective on moving, sleeping, exercising our brains and finding balance in our lives.  Both are pretty outstanding!  

So, that's my story...and I think that's all I'll stuff into this post.  It's getting on the long side.  I'll add some links with the answers to your questions soon!  

1st Round of Answers
2nd Round of Answers

The Importance of Insignificant Events

I went shopping for a swimsuit last week.  I didn't find one, but I looked!  While I was picking through the clearance racks a rather unhelpful saleswoman offered me a size 20 off the rack to try.  I don't want to sound full of myself, I'm not.  It's simply a fact that I've never been a size 20 and I'm several sizes smaller than that right now, and getting slimmer and more fit every day. 

Providing More Than the Basics

If you have kids, and I do, you likely have frustrations with the things they'll eat or not eat, and I do.  I have days where I'm fine with them not eating what I cook.  That's fine with a hand on the hip, "whatever - go ahead and be hungry, I don't care" attitude.  Or fine with my hands in the air, throwing dishes into the sink a little too roughly, grumbling load enough that I know they'll feel bad, "Why would you like anything that's healthy for you?  Why do I try?  I should just feed you crap.  You like crap..."  Yup, some days I'm fine with them not eating. 

Contentment

I don't know if it true or not, and I'm not going to take the time to research it, but I feel like I write a lot on here about the struggles of my life.  I tell you how I cope with stress, children, clutter, frustration.  Sometimes, though, it's wonderful to just be content. 

Tonight, I'm content. 

Sometimes people worry that contentment won't last.  I could focus on that, but why?

Sometimes people dig deeper to find the annoyances they've overlooked.  I can think of a few things right now, without even trying, but why chase the contentment away?

Thankfully, I'm not some people.  I like being happy.  I like breathing deeply and enjoying the positives.  And it feels great to be taking some time to do that tonight. 

There's no secret, except the ability to leave all the rest for a time.  Tonight I worked on Ombudsman admin for a few hours and then turned to an article I'm working on.  I'm happy with it and proud of it.  And I realized, as I sent it to a friend to read, that I'm simply content. 

So lovely. 

I hope you find a moment of peaceful bliss in your life soon! 

Being honest with me

Remember my one word goal for 2011?  If not, and you've got some time on your hands, feel free to go scan that post.  The gist of it, though, is that rather than setting a making a resolution for the New Year, I'd simply set a motto to live by.  My guiding concept for this year is "be."

I want to be present and focused and in everything I'm doing.  I must say that eight months ago I didn't foresee the life I'd have right now.  I thought I'd be "being" in a whole different way.  As I took a few minutes to reflect on this the other night, what I originally thought of as failing in my goal I realized wasn't. 

Bad Hair Day

Yesterday morning when I looked in the mirror I realized I was having a bad hair day - with my eye brows!

"What!" you exclaim?  I know.  I had a similar reaction. 

Reality Vs. Fantasy

The sky's the limit...right?  We can be whatever we want to be.  Isn't this the message we give our kids?  One of my dreams is to be a published writer.  It's one of the reasons I started this blog.  A couple years ago I took a course to finesse my style and learn how to submit my work.  I got great feedback and improved a lot.  Most importantly, I really enjoyed it!  And, although I haven't been published yet, it's still a dream of mine.  A maybe someday sort of thing.

Right now, though, there's reality.  Sure I could be working an article right now rather than posting on here.  but the reality is that I'm tired.  I've got a lot on my plate and all of it is important to me.  And more important than that "being a writer" dream. 

One of the great things about my busy reality, though, is that I get the opportunity to write in my life.  And I'm getting compliments about it.  I haven't thought a ton about submitting works in a several months.  But with the positive feedback that I'm getting, and completely unsolicited may I add, I'm thinking about my dream again.  And it feels great to dream!

So, a goal of mine for this summer is to figure out a way to write more for my publishing fantasy.  I'm not going to go so far as to make a goal of actually submitting or anything crazy like that!  But I do want to get reorganized and focused and maybe put an hour a week or something into developing ideas and writing drafts.  I've got a ton of ideas, so it'll be wonderful to spit them out on paper. 

I'll try to keep you posted, but please check in with me and see how I'm doing with bringing my dreams to life.  I'd love to hear how you're living a dream or working toward one too.  Do share...

Fantasizing about Fun Fashion!

A few months ago I started wondering about my fashion sense.  I wondered what star I might pattern myself after or at least be inspired by.  I still haven't found that answer, but I have been drawn to some styles lately. So, that's a start, right?

Then yesterday I saw some incredible dresses in a link a friend posted on Facebook.  The cocktail dresses featured were stunning and fun and full of life!  I got excited!  And I decided to put together a little list of things I like to share with all of you...if you're interested.

Slow Down

I was on the phone with one of my mothers-in-law today and she said, "Maybe you should slow down."  This was after I got the kids out at the mall and went into Barnes and Noble to pick up some books Jace had put on hold yesterday.  We had gotten to the counter and couldn't find the gift card he'd gotten for his birthday.  So, I'd taken the kids back to the van, back home and, after searching the house for a few minutes, had found the card in Jace's wallet.  So, "Maybe you should slow down," wasn't completely off base.  However, had she been in front of me I would have laughed in her face.  Since we were on the phone I laughed in her ear instead!

This and That

It's Wednesday.  I like Wednesday.  Just thought you should know that.  I hope your Wednesday has been a great one.  Ours has been pretty darn good, even though Jace will tell you it was a boring day.  After all, the highlight of his day was the pizza and Pepsi he got to have at Costco.  Everything else is unworthy of "good day" status in his eyes. 

Facts About Me

Every so often I feel the need to let you know more than you want to know about me.  Today's one of those days.  I know you're excited...

Visit At Your Own Risk

I love having people come see us.  We do live several thousand miles from our family and it's a joy when they spend hours on a plane just to visit us.  However, lately whenever someone is here I've gotten quite busy! 

Days before my little sister and her son flew in from Germany (via California and a side vacation to Hawaii - nice, huh?) our FRG (Family Readiness Group) President stepped down.  I had already decided to put my name in for an official volunteer position with the command, in fact I may have already done it even.  The last month or so is a blur - so I'm not really sure! 

So, while I was "visiting" with them I was attending meetings to turnover the FRG position so I could step up from the Vice President role.  It's been a busy month with all that being the standing FRG President has meant.  And, on Wednesday, I found out that I'd been chosen as one of two new Ombudsmen for our crew - that's the official volunteer position I mentioned.

On Tuesday night Scott's parents flew in to visit and they're here for all the meetings I'm attending and all the time I'm putting into kicking off my appointment as Ombudsman well.

So, come visit at your own risk!  We'd love to see you, but by "we" I might mean the kids and Scott, if he's around.  If not, could you babysit? 

Joining In!

Today I'm all about joining in!  First Small Style and now The Ultimate Blog Party!  Woo hoo!

April Update on 2011 Motto: be

Can you believe it's April?  Every year I find myself saying more and more often how quickly the months pass.  I guess that's probably part of growing up and getting older.  But I don't even realize half the time that I am growing up and getting older.  Things sneak up on me.  If it weren't for the constant reminder that Jace will be eight years old this spring I would be quite shocked by that fact too!  I guess time really does fly!

The focus should be, I guess, on what I'm doing with my time, then, right?  I mean I can't slow it down.  Even though sometimes I'd really like to.  I imagine a big ol' hand break that I force back with every ounce of my energy just so I can sit for a second and catch my breath.  But that's not going to happen.  So, how do I catch my breath?  How do I spend my time?  Am I living in the spirit of my 2011 motto? 

Style - What's Mine?

Some of you knew me back in the day.  What day?  The day when I had a style of my own.  I wore long floral dresses and shirts made from dresses bought second hand or given to me by my grandmother.  And I had this one dress that I loved that was crushed velvet and looked like a colorful oil spill!  Awesome!  And that wasn't my only piece of crushed velvet.  I liked bright colors, older styles, and textured fabrics.  That was then.

Now?  Well, now I'm wearing over sized men's sweats with "Navy" written down the leg and a grey sweater. 

To and Fro

The other day I was driving down the road we live off of.  It's a road I drive almost daily.  And, like many roads in Washington, the speed limit frequently changes for reasons I don't necessarily understand. 

So, there I was driving down the road.  I'd just noticed that I was going a little over the speed limit as I coasted down a hill and around a curve and directly into the radar gun of an unmarked police car. 

Mrs. Mama

I don't know if multitasking and combining roles or jobs is all that new, really.  Just think about parents - they've been around for a while and I don't know anyone who is "just a parent."  So I think we just keep changing the name for things and adjusting what we're multitasking as times and situations change around us.