Providing More Than the Basics

If you have kids, and I do, you likely have frustrations with the things they'll eat or not eat, and I do.  I have days where I'm fine with them not eating what I cook.  That's fine with a hand on the hip, "whatever - go ahead and be hungry, I don't care" attitude.  Or fine with my hands in the air, throwing dishes into the sink a little too roughly, grumbling load enough that I know they'll feel bad, "Why would you like anything that's healthy for you?  Why do I try?  I should just feed you crap.  You like crap..."  Yup, some days I'm fine with them not eating. 

Being honest with me

Remember my one word goal for 2011?  If not, and you've got some time on your hands, feel free to go scan that post.  The gist of it, though, is that rather than setting a making a resolution for the New Year, I'd simply set a motto to live by.  My guiding concept for this year is "be."

I want to be present and focused and in everything I'm doing.  I must say that eight months ago I didn't foresee the life I'd have right now.  I thought I'd be "being" in a whole different way.  As I took a few minutes to reflect on this the other night, what I originally thought of as failing in my goal I realized wasn't. 

Slow Down

I was on the phone with one of my mothers-in-law today and she said, "Maybe you should slow down."  This was after I got the kids out at the mall and went into Barnes and Noble to pick up some books Jace had put on hold yesterday.  We had gotten to the counter and couldn't find the gift card he'd gotten for his birthday.  So, I'd taken the kids back to the van, back home and, after searching the house for a few minutes, had found the card in Jace's wallet.  So, "Maybe you should slow down," wasn't completely off base.  However, had she been in front of me I would have laughed in her face.  Since we were on the phone I laughed in her ear instead!

What Makes Me Awesome

So, there I was innocently minding my own business on facebook.  When suddenly Smrt Mama posted all sorts of things that I found interesting and possibly even important.  In the midst of all the things she shared was something she put on her blog back in November.  It was an exercise in realizing how incredible you are.  I didn't do it then.  I was busy, tired, had all sorts of excuses.  But today I decided I'd take a crack at it.  What about you?  Are you ready to see how awesome you are?

Friday Fill-In #28

1.If you were a famous movie star, what types of movies would you star in?

I think I'd fit into a chick flick best.  My comebacks are quick enough for comedy and I think I'd be scared doing thrillers!  But predictable drama with a "happily ever after" ending...I'm in! 


2.What is a vacation you would like to take if money were no object?

I'd love to travel with my family.  If money was really no option then none of us would have to work and we could spend a week or two here or there...seeing the sights from coast to coast.  Going abroad would be fun too...and incredible to see buildings that have been standing for longer than the US has existed.  But, I really do want to visit each of our 50 states...each one has so much to offer.

3.Did you have pets growing up?

yup.  When I was little (single digits) we had cows and horses.  Even after we got rid of them we had cats and dogs.  My favorite little doggy was Benji, who looked just like Benji - the famous dog.  He hopped through the snow and we called him snow bunny!  He was so fun!

4.What do you do for exercise?

not enough.  We walk and are trying to do that more.  There are other things I'd like to do...but we know that as military spouses it's not always easy to get time away from the kids and I don't necessarily want to pay for a sitter and pay for a workout.  So...much of my exercise goals remain goals.  But we are walking - did over 2 miles today!

5.What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received as a MilSpouse?

"It's written in jello."  As in nothing is in stone in the military, dates can change, home for dinner might turn into, "Don't wait up."


That's what I have to say...want to read other milspouse answers?  Wifey's got em!  Go...go!

be

"Be still and know that I am God."  ~Psalm 46:10

I don't think I realized that this psalm was probably in my heart when I picked my theme word for 2011.  

A little back story...I went to college at St. Bonaventure University.  Associated with the school was Mt. Irenaeus, a mountain retreat run by some friars and open to everyone for prayer, reflection, peace, and always a good meal!  Fr. Dan Riley is one of the friars who not only helps keep the Mountain be everything it can be, but he also is involved with several programs on campus.  He was a mentor of mine in many ways and even married Scott and I.  And he has been known to quote this psalm and break it down. 

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be still

Be

So, there you have it...God's speaking to me using fond memories and new technology.  He sure knows how to get to me, doesn't He?  Especially when I'm not even looking for it. 

So, I want to focus on being this coming year, including being more present and intentional in several aspects of my life...like my writing, my children, my faith.  So, how'm I doing? 

Well, as you can see...I'm writing.  I'm not sure "how'm" is really great writing, but it's what you're going to get these days!  Seriously, though, I haven't done anything to be more present and intentional in my writing.  To meet that goal I like to begin writing for publication and submitting.  Without those two steps, I'm never going to get published.  So, I'll get a move on...some time.  Not yet.  And I'm good with that.  I can only handle so much at once and I'm handling a few other things at the moment.  I'll be more in my writing before the end of the year.  Promise.

My children...well, I think I'm doing pretty well there.  We've sat and watched movies together, without my being on the computer.  We've turned off the television and played with toys or read books without distraction.  We've gone a a few family walks.  Things are improving there, not huge differences, but subtle ones that mean something to me. 

My faith is still a work in progress, as faith often is.  I don't know what religion I identify most with.  I actually took an online quiz to see where my beliefs placed me.  I know...pretty sad, right?  But the thing is that I kind of feel like I've tried to squeeze into the rules of Catholicism and it hasn't fit right for a long time.  So I thought I'd go from the other direction.  The top three answers I got were Protestant, Unitarian Universalist, and Neo-Pagan.  I haven't done much with that yet...but it's a start. 

I do have to say, though, that today's realization that Fr. Dan's breakdown of psalm 46:10 tells me something.  I'm not sure what, yet, other than He's listening.  He's there.  He hasn't walked from me and knows I haven't walked from Him.  I also think, maybe, God's telling me it's perfectly acceptable to only tackle what I can handle.  I might just be reading into things since this is one of those weeks where I'll be taking one day at a time...looking too far ahead is stressing me a bit.  So, in terms of my faith...I think it's OK with God if I'm simply at be and not sure what my path is to "Be still and know that I am God."

I'll work my way there though, in time.

Be

Be still

Be still and know

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know that I am God

Day Book (October 7th)

Outside my window...The wind is picking up after a beautiful fall morning in the 60's.  The clouds are coming in and we'll likely get some rain in a while. 



I am thinking...about homeschooling, marriage, parenting...the things that are on my mind every day.


I am thankful for...the quiet reassurance of my faith, good friends, and kids playing nicely together right now.


From the learning rooms...we're about to do some math and then make a messy squirrel feast to hang outside later.


From the kitchen...the dishes await.


I am wearing...a teal turtle neck and jeans.  My feet are bare and my hair is braided.  And I actually have jewelry on today, a necklace Gracie made me and simple pearl studs.


I am creating...a warm and calm place for my family and friends, and ample opportunities to listen to every one's stories.


I am going...slowly today.


I am reading...God's Little Devotional Book, Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions, and any number of blogs on homeschooling.


I am hoping...to continue the day in the same vein it's been in, quiet instruction by me...children ready to listen, no arguing and plenty of fun.


I am hearing...my wooden wind chimes outside, Jace and Gracie playing in the bedroom, traffic on the highway.


Around the house...there are many little things to be done. 


One of my favorite things...is being connected.


A few plans for the rest of the week:  Tomorrow we're headed to the library and to do a little shopping to finish a package for Uncle Nick (my brother-in-law).  Then we have friends coming tomorrow night and Saturday my cousin and his wife will be visiting for lunch. 

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Living a simple life is something that could be incredibly enriching.  I enjoyed this exercise.  If you'd like to, you can take part in it as well:   Check out the simple woman's daybook and see what other women have to say this fall. 

How Do You Do It? (Marriage: Time to Talk)

Communication.  I've heard it's the key to a good marriage.  I don't disagree, but I don't think it's that simple, either. 

There are a lot of things I could write about in regards to the talks that could and maybe should go on between spouses.  I'm going to focus on three things, though. 

• little things.
• dreaming together.
• when not to talk

While I ramble about these three point, I may gloss over some things that others find very important.  It's not that I don't, but just chose to shine the light on something else this time around.  If you'd like me to go on about anything further, just leave me a comment of send me an email.  Here goes...

little things
Yes, it's important to talk about where you want to live, whether or not to have kids and how many.  It's a good idea to talk about how you'll handle the merging of family traditions (and this could take years to figure out) and financial realities and goals.  But, for many of us, talking about these things don't necessarily come naturally and can sometimes bring out intense emotional reactions by both partners.  How can these conversations be a little easier?  With practice.

Start by talking about everything and anything.  Bodily functions, the trip to the dentist, grocery shopping, and interpersonal relations at the office.  Learning to talk to each other over the seemingly smaller things can give you clues to how to interact with each other over the bigger topics.  In my opinion, once your spouse has to plunge the toilet for you, there should be nothing that can't be put out there to debate!  So, don't dismiss awkward tidbits with a nervous giggle.  Think about them as practical research about how your spouse might react when you bring up spending the holidays at home instead of with his family.  Right?

dreaming together
I think it's a good idea to talk about your future together.  Note that I said future not futures.  Talk about your collective futures and if you want early retirement and the beach and he wants a second job plowing snow after retirement...there's no time like now to begin working that out!  By doing so you're sharing pieces of your inner self and setting goals to work toward.  I think dreams can be realistic or completely playful, but either way they're important to have and share with your spouse.

You may have heard that it's never to early to talk about retirement, and it's true.  So, talk about it.  Where would you like to retire?  What would you like to do?  When would you like to stop working and how?  You can also fantasize about career goals, hobbies you'd like to enjoy, vacations you'd like to take.  Think about the things you can learn about your spouse this way...and what fun it is to imagine "what if?" 

Dreaming isn't just for the long term either.  If he'd like a new big screen television, I'd consider that a dream!  But not one that's out of reach it you look at it together and work toward it.  It may mean date night is in front of the small screened TV you currently have with dinner you prepared together in the kitchen instead of a night on the town, but there's nothing wrong with that.  In fact, there's sometimes a lot right about it. 

when not to talk
Are there really times not to talk?  Yes there are.  Some say you should never go to bed angry, but I think it's OK to do now and then.  Not everything can be resolved in a short, sweet shouting match followed by make up sex.  Sometimes you and your spouse may reach a point where you're talking in circles and not making any headway.  Or you might realize that resolving this issue is going to take a lot more thinking and talking and, practically, nobody gets the day off tomorrow so you'd better get to sleep.  Or maybe you just don't know what else to say and you're feeling hurt.

Our unwritten rule is that no one sleeps on the couch.  No matter what we go to bed in the same bed, but we may still be angry, hurt, unsure.  I usually try to still reach out a toe to touch his leg.  And I leave the topic unresolved.  I usually try to say a prayer for direction and wisdom in how to proceed and I usually remind myself why I married this man and why he chose me.  Sometimes when we wake up I'm still angry, and that's OK. 

Thus far we've resolved everything we've fought over...in time, with a clear mind. 

So, I know I said I was only going to comment on these three point, but I think there are two other things I'd like to say.  First, I say all of this with my first "How Do You Do It? (Marriage)" post in mind.  The gist of that was that it takes two people who want to be married to create a healthy and happy relationship with one another.  And a big part of that, I think, is wanting the best for the other.  If tense conversations are had with this at the core, some of the drama is extracted right from the get go.  If you know if your heart and head that he would never intentionally say anything to cut you to the core, then you have the ability to hear what he's saying is for the betterment of your relationship, at least as he sees it.  I haven't had to do it in a long time, but when Scott and I were first married I honestly used to say, "I know you didn't mean that like I heard it.  Can you try to say it a different way, please?"  This helped. 

Second, know yourself as best you can.  If you can identify when you're feeling more needy, unusually irritated, tired, stressed by other parts of your life you're a step ahead.  Knowing these things can help you honestly assess your reaction to comments your spouse makes. 

Bottom line...give them the benefit of the doubt.  He loves you.  She loves you.  Talking together can be a great way to express and grow that love.

OK...I promise this is the last thing.  Really.  I swear to you that Scott and I are not fighting.  I just had a horrible time sleeping last night...a lot on my mind I guess.  So, after an hour of trying not to wake him up, I came out and finished this post, made a few to do lists, played some online games and watched TV.  Eventually I made my way to a devotional book I'd been considering trying to find again.  I found it and opened it.  This is what I read:

A marriage may be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth. 

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

Marriages are meant to be complementary - two pulling together as one, not in competition, but in mutual association. (from God's Little Devotional Book, published by Honor Books, Inc.)

I think I read it to share with you.  What do you think?

How Do You Do It: Parenting - Do We Need a Change?

Scott and I get asked a lot how we would handle a specific situation with our kids.  How we get them to go to bed.  How we get them to listen.  All sorts of questions that imply we're good parents.  I'm always a bit baffled that others see us as such great parenting role models.  I certainly don't feel like the best mom, at least not all the time.  But, on the other hand, I also feel like our kids are reasonably great kids.  There's a decent chance that Scott and I had something to do with that, I guess.  Right?  (Don't I sound confident?)

So, maybe we do have something to offer about how to parent.  But maybe not.  I guess it's up to you to decide. 

Scott and I are talkers and planners.  I think this helps as parents.  We can take any one subject and analyze it from every which way until we end up with a plan of attack that we think is a good start.  We usually have a Plan B, just in case.  When we learned we were going to have a baby we discussed how we'd do x, y, and z.  I think we felt pretty confident in our strategies and, like I said, haven't done too badly.  However, there's always room for improvement.  Always.

We've been known to let our kids cry it out, even when I didn't feel totally OK with this, but didn't know what else to do.  Scott's famous (really...it was on the radio!) for his two rules about crying:

1. Stand up when you cry.
2. Only one at a time.

We also have shared this little gem more than once, "Children are like terrorists and we do not negotiate with terrorists."

Now some of you might be reading this thinking we're right on.  Others might be hoping our kids make it to adulthood without any serious emotional scars.  I have to admit I stand someplace in the middle at this point.

As you know, I've been working on creating a more primal life for our family.  I was first inspired to revamp our food choices and strategies for being active.  Over the last several months I've begun reading some other blogs and articles that have me wondering about many other areas of our lives...including our parenting plan.  I read an article on parenting in Hunter-Gatherer societies and really began thinking about how we parent.  Was it time for some improvements?

The article mentioned a book by Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving From Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason.  I decided to read it and see what improvements I could make.  How can I be an even better mom?

Well, I've read some of it.  I read the first few chapters and found myself wondering, "So, what do I do?"  Kohn seemed to have some pretty good reasons why my current strategy of parenting was more about control than helping my children become well-rounded and responsible adults.  I found myself agreeing with him that it does seem a bit childish to punish kids for not doing something by taking something else away.  The tit-for-tat auto response I seemed to have never felt quite right for me, but I didn't know what else to do.  And Kohn wasn't much help in the beginning of his book. 

So, I skipped several chapters.  I jumped right to the middle of the book and the principles of unconditional parenting.  First of all, the main focus of unconditional parenting is that our children feel loved unconditionally.  And it's about what they feel not what I think I'm portraying.  I know, I know...it sounds tricky, doesn't it. 

"When you come right down to it, the whole process of raising a kid is pretty damned inconvenient, particularly if you want to do it well.  If you're unwilling to give up any of your free time, if you want your house to stay quiet and clean, you might consider raising tropical fish instead."

That's probably my favorite quote from the whole book, at least the whole of what I read!  And I'm so glad Kohn sees that he's asking a lot from us as parents.  He also shares times that he struggles to live up to the standards he's set for himself.  I always feel better when others struggle like I do and when they want to struggle and be the best they can for their kids, like I do too.

So, it's not easy.  There's no special formula.  But do what you can to ensure your kids feel loved as often as possible. 

But, how do I do that?

Kohn suggests not rewarding for good behavior or punishing for poor behavior.  What?  That's what I said.  He wonders how our relationships would improve with our children is we stopped assuming they were testing limits, acting with malicious intent, trying to push our buttons and started asking why they're acting the way they are.  And what if we approached situations as problems to be solved rather than behavior to be punished or corrected?

He asks us to determine our long term goal as parents, and keep them in mind.  Sometime we need to stop the behavior immediately (running into traffic) but other times we just want the behavior to end (fighting over chores).  When the immediate ceasing of the behavior isn't necessary, what if we looked at the "problem" with our long term goal of creating responsible adults in mind.  And what if we gave our children enough respect so they could be part of the solution.

Just the other day I wanted Jace to do his math work and he wasn't.  He was digging his heels in and wanted to stand on his chair and all sorts of other things.  Initially I thought that he was simply testing me to see how far he could go.  I'd been reading Kohn's book, though, and decided to ask more and talk less, and see if the two of us together could reach a solution.  I first gave him the option of sitting in his chair or standing on the floor, letting him know either would be fine with me.  He (of course) asked if he could sit on the floor.  I didn't give an immediate "NO" without even thinking, which I'm quite guilty of doing.  Instead, I thought for a second and responded, "Not yet.  I'm helping Gracie too.  But if you'll sit in your chair or stand on the floor while I explain what you need to do, then you can sit on the floor with your lap desk to complete the assignment."  And that's what he did.  In fact, he sat on the floor and did three lessons instead of one!

So, maybe Kohn's on to something.  I'm not completely sold that I don't need to have a little control, but I do agree that controlling the kids should not be my goal and that if it appears to them that I'm not loving them then I'm not being the mom I want to be.

All in all, I don't know if I was any help to you!  But, if you're curious to learn more, go find the book yourself and give it a go!  Let me know what you learn.  As for my reading of it...I have to take it back to the library.  Someone else has a hold on it.  But I'm putting a hold on it again so I can get it back out and read more and again!

One note I'd like to make about parenting...Do your best to squash the guilt.  Even though I'm considering the very real possibility that the way I've been parenting for the last seven years has not been ideal, I'm not going to waste time beating myself up over it.  Do your best to live in the present and do your best now...and love them!  That's what it's all about in the end anyway.  Love them.

Primal Successes

A few months back I was watching some silly news/comedy show that Scott put on and found myself interested in a story about a guy who was playing all over New York City. I tip-toed my way over to Mark Sisson's site and have been making changes ever since.

I started with the way I was eating and I also began playing with my kids more. (Right now I'm neglecting them and the dishes for the sake of this post...but they don't seem to mind. There's a lot of giggling going on in the other room! From the kids, not the dishes...they're just waiting patiently for attention.) It's been about eight months now and we're still working on things.

I'm chalking up "working on things" as a success in primal living. Why? Because I haven't given up. I've thought about it, but not because it's not working...I'm definitely healthier, feel better, have more energy, am more active...things are going well, in my opinion.

Now, in the opinion of my family members...well, then you might find some different answers. With all the changes that we've gone through in the last several months, changing their diets (pretty drastically) hasn't always gone over well. But I've realized recently that even as a family we're having success in living primally.

Right now we're in the midst of a 30-Day Challenge that Mark is running. There's a contest every day and one of the recent ones is to take a picture of your groceries. Here's ours for the week...


Don't you love my totally cute posers? Well, I do, and shopping with them has helped me realize that a lot really has changed with my quest to make our family primal, and in turn, healthier and happier. Jace reads the ingredient list before picking up anything off the shelf. They get excited by fruits and vegetables. They still don't always eat them once their home...but good things come to those who wait, right?

We also walk more and play more. They're not as hungry as quickly. They don't know this, however, and it's pretty funny! If they can see a clock then they're hungry at all our old regular eating times. If they don't know what time it is they'll play and be happy for at least an hour longer than our old normal! They usually notice that it's past lunch time by then and are suddenly ravenous-in their heads!

As a family, we aren't eating 100% primal, which is fine. Mark suggests eating at least 80% and I'd say we're pretty close to that. We're doing well with the non-food primal rules too...getting our rest, moving slowly and frequently, lifting things, sprinting sometimes. So, I'd say things aer going pretty well on the primal front. Wouldn't you?

(And, just in case you were wondering what's in our groceries picture, here's the meal plan for the week:

Breakfast/Lunch (interchangeable) - primal cereal with almond milk, 100% juice for the kids, water for me, Tyler and Gracie still like toast with (100% fruit) jelly -OR- eggs (scrambled with cheese for the kids, sunny side up for me with spinach), bacon, avocado, fruit

Snacks - fruit, kefir smoothies

Dinner -
Tuesday - Parmesan and garlic crusted cod, carrots, and broccoli
Wednesday -primal pancakes and sausage with fruit
Thursday - tacos (kids will have flour tortillas Scott and I will have salads, but we're trying something new...provolone crisp shells)
Friday - Scott and I are going out (if he doesn't have to work) TBA
Saturday - ham bone soup with spinach bread and onion crisps (both are primal even though neither sounds like it!)
Sunday - chicken, salad, acorn squash
Monday - leftovers or if there aren't any, freezer schtuff

And now you know!)

Doing Better

I'm sure I'm not alone in wanting the best for my family. Mothers are notorious, though, for leaving themselves out of the equation when seeking what's better for their kids, husbands, parents, neighbors...you get the idea. I'm no exception. I often put others before me.

It's hard to put my needs first for a few reasons. First of all, I don't whine and cry as much as the kids. If I need a nap I don't make that crystal clear by busting into tears at the drop of a hat, even if I might feel like doing just that! Secondly, there's only so much money and time to go around. It's easier for me to wear jeans that are almost threadbare for another month when the kids have outgrown theirs, along with their shoes, shirts, underwear, socks...you get the idea. Putting #1 in the second position if pretty easy to do.

Lately, I've been trying to feed us better. I figured that serving healthier meals would benefit all of us, even me! And it does. But it's also discouraging. I get a little down on myself when I hear how gross and disgusting everything I make is. I know Jace and Gracie are culinary experts, but they think they are, perhaps from watching a bit much of Top Chef and Last Food Network Star! (Actually, Gracie's pretty funny sometimes. "Mama, what I like about this is the way it looks. What I don't like is the way it tastes. Maybe next time you could add some sugar?") They get to me, though, even when I know they shouldn't. Even when I like what I've created. They get to me.

And I want to do even better than I am with food. I want to invest in grass-fed beef. I want fresh veggies. I looked into joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and decided not to this year. The most local one (less than a mile down the road!) costs a little more than I feel I can put into eating healthier right now. I hate saying that. Now I'm not even putting the kids needs in front of mine. I'm putting the budget in front of everyone's. Reality sucks sometimes, if you'll excuse my potty mouth.

There are things I am doing though, things both Scott and I are doing to make our lives and our kids' lives better. He is riding his bike to and from work. He's enjoying it and feeling great. He even commented last night that he thinks a 20 minute bike ride is more decompressing than the 35 minute car commute he used to have in Georgia. I don't doubt it for a second. I'm thrilled for him.

We're also taking the kids to the pool twice a week. Hopefully they'll learn to swim along the way, but at the very least we're having fantastic family fun! I've started going to the gym and using the parent's room once a week. It's a room with an area at the front for the kids to play, read, or watch TV. I can use a treadmill, bike, elliptical machine, rowing machine, or pull our a mat for stretching or floor exercises. We're also walking. Before tonight we'd been walking every so often. Starting tonight, I'm going to be walking daily. Period. Not for weight loss, although if that happened it would be a total bonus! I'm walking for fitness, to strengthen the muscles in my back after visiting the chiropractor. (More on that in a minute.) I'm planning on including daily walks in our homeschool schedule as well. I wanted to do some sort of fitness during the days, and now that I have to walk...they might as well join in, right?

So, the chiropractor. I know that not everyone thinks chiropractics is legit. But to me it makes perfect sense. If the body is in it's best alignment, it'll be a more healthy body. I used to go pretty regularly when we lived here in Washington before. After moving to Georgia I stopped going and made tons of excuses why it wasn't important to return. However, I've been having a lot of pain and a horrible time sleeping the last couple weeks. So, I went in for a check up. I got x-rays and an exam and tonight Scott went with me to see how "jacked up" I truly am. That's how he lovingly refers to me. As it turns out, I'm decently jacked up. Not completely beyond repair, but enough that I am quite relieved that I went in sooner rather than later.

Starting tonight I am getting frequent adjustments to work my way toward being less jacked up. After each adjustment I'm supposed to take a walk and ice my back and neck. I feel like an athlete or something cool like that! I did those two things tonight, like a good patient. And it occurred to me while walking, that I'm doing something for me and it's something that has a significant cost. Part of me wants to run and hide, put the money into savings, and pretend that my back will fix itself. But it won't. And I won't. Because a bigger part of me is proud that I'm taking care of myself. Happy that I'm setting a good example for the kids. Relieved and thrilled that I have unwavering support from my incredible husband. (When the doctor asked if we had any questions about the x-rays Scott said, "No, I knew she was jacked up." See? Completely supportive.)

So, in the end, we're eating as healthy as we can for now. Whether the kids actually eat the food given to them or not, they're being served real food. And we're incorporating fit living into our social family time and homeschooling. Maybe I can stop thinking about what we're not doing and realize we are doing better than we were. And doing better is doing the best for my family.

Getting Here, Getting There

If you follow my blog at all, you know that we recently moved from Southern Georgia to Western Washington via Western New York. It was a long and exciting couple of months.

The last five days of the trip were driving from New York to Washington in a little caravan. Here's what I saw:













Occasionally I looked in the rear view and saw this:
























Sometimes when we'd stop I've even get to see this:






Or this:




And when we stopped at Mt. Rushmore I got to see this:



Oh, yeah, and this too:





As you can see, we had a great trip. We're unpacking and settling in. In fact, I think all the mover's boxes are unpacked. I'm not guaranteeing that everything has been put away yet, but it's all out of the boxes. And I will admit, too, that there are a few unpacked boxes of books that we'd packed up many moons ago when we had to clean up our Georgia home to get it on the market. But those should be unpacked and put on shelves in no particular order in another day or two. Pictures are on our walls. We've eaten inside at the dining room table and outside on the deck, once because we couldn't find the dining room table. But the other time was because we wanted to enjoy the weather!

We're eating well and ready to lose the poundage we put on over the last few months. I've been back on Mark's Daily Apple and am stocking the cupboards, fridge, and freezer with Primal friendly foods (minus the goods I bought to make chocolate peanut butter chip cookies for a neighborhood 4th of July party!). I've found a local CSA and plan to visit them personally to learn more by the end of next week.

We've got plans to start swimming as a family, camping, and hopefully fishing. Scott got a bike to commute with. The kids have made friends in the neighborhood.

Life is good. We're getting there. And we're happy to be headed in the right direction.

Gebel Family Homeschool Mission Statement

So, I mentioned a few days ago that I had decided one of my early steps in planning next year's homeschool would be to create a mission statement. I first read idea in an article written by Brenda (her personal site) at Curriculum Choice. Thankfully she gave me permission to add or delete from her list of suggested topics. And I did just that. I wrote it the night that Scott was out fixing things long after bed time. He got a chance to read it today and commented. And here's the final result:


Gebel Family Homeschool Mission Statement

I. School’s duration
a. We’re agreeing to one year of homeschooling. Mama will be focusing on Jace and Gracie, but admits that Tyler will probably learn something in the process.
b. Our Family School will begin in late summer/early fall (depending more on when Mama feels settled after moving than anything else). We’d like to flow into a relaxed year round schooling experience, being able to take breaks (or loosen our schedule) when Dada has leave or family visits.


II. Extracurriculars
a. If Tyler still needs some one on one regarding speech, we’ll do our best to incorporate that into our homeschool. It would be great for that to be an in-home process again, but if we need to take him someplace we can do that as well.
b. Jace and Gracie will be allowed to choose one thing to join to begin with. Depending on finances and life we may allow more later on, but we’ll start with one.
c. We’ll find a support group or co-op that jives with our style of schooling.


III. What we’ll teach
a. Our academic goals will be based around the Core Knowledge Sequence. We’ll start with Kindergarten and 2nd grade ideas but will likely overlap with 1st grade and 3rd grade ideals as well.
b. We hope to teach practical skills as well as academic knowledge. Things like sewing, cooking, and woodworking will be included with various units.
c. Fitness and health are also important topics that the Gebel Family Homeschool will enjoy learning about and engaging in.
d. Responsibility and independence will be high on the list of traits we’ll encourage during our schooling and the rest of our lives as well.


IV. How we’ll teach
a. Mama will be the primary teacher. However, if friends or family have any talents we can tap into…we will.
b. Mama plans to use mostly unit studies, working as many subjects (writing, reading, art, music, math, history) into one theme (butterflies, presidents, dinosaurs) as possible. Some will be purchased curriculum but most will be homemade, integrating the things from III on the outline.
c. Mama plans to do lots of hands-on activities and go-sees.
d. We’ll utilize the library, the internet, our game closet, anything and everything we can to learn, learn, learn!
e. Jace and Gracie will both have opportunities to “teach” the other.


V. Money matters
a. Since we’re not purchasing a particular curriculum it’s hard to say how much we’ll spend on homeschooling. We hope to use the library for most of our books and our pretty well stocked art closet for crafts and activities. There will, however, be items that need to be purchased. At this point I’m budgeting $20 a month for materials.
b. As often as we can, day trips and activities will be free. We may invest in yearly passes, though, to the zoo or a museum or some other really cool place to learn!
c. Extracurriculars will need to be less than $30 a month.
d. $100 a year is set aside for Mama’s continuing education.
e. Money may be set aside for babysitting as well, unless some sort of sitting exchange can be found.


VI. Continuing education
a. To begin mama’s continuing education, she’s investing in a few books that she’s previewed and learned a lot from.
b. Mama is attending an online expo this year and hopes to attend a conference or convention at some point over the next year, especially if it looks like we’ll be keeping our Family Homeschool open for another year.
c. Mama will continue to read books and blogs on the subject of homeschooling. She’ll also write frequent posts on her own blog sharing and learning what works for us and what doesn’t.


VII. Record Keeping
a. We have binders for progress reports and select art work/projects/awards already. We’ll continue to pull out things we really want to keep for looking back on.
b. Goals will be assessed in a free style “how are we doing” write up each six months, in November and May.


VIII. Tid bits
a. Mama will take time to herself.
i. This may be as simple as an hour of quiet on the weekend where the kids have to be in their rooms, outside, or watching a movie so she can write, take a bath, or sip wine.
ii. She will also take time away from the house and the kids. Massages will be had!
b. Tyler will be allowed to wander to and fro, but will also have a set of toys that are specifically for homeschooling times. He may get to join in art projects.

So, what do you think? Are you ready to put your family goals in print?

Wait...I Should Have Goals?

I mentioned a day or two ago that one of the homeschooling starting points I've read about is writing a family mission statement.

I think this is a great idea. We tend to be planners anyway but don't often set actual goals to meet, or at least I don't. This is a great time to start. We are talking educating our children, right? So, Scott and I talked briefly last night. Being that he's packing today and leaving Georgia in his dust tomorrow we probably won't be discussing it too much more for the time being. But it's on my mind. What we agreed on doing, which we've done successfully with other topics, is think about it separately and use email and phone calls to to come together about what we'd like to accomplish this coming year with homeschooling.

Some of the topics that can be included in a family mission statement we've already talked about and agreed on. For example, our time frame. When we first agreed to homeschool this next year we agreed we'd do it for a year and see where to go from there. We also agree that the kids will be enrolled in something outside the home, whether it be a co-op class or something fitness related, but Scott's leaving it up to me what, when, and where. And I'm waiting until we move to make those decisions.

In fact, Scott's leaving a lot of it to me, in regards to homeschooling and life in general. He has told me before that he thinks so much at work he appreciates not having to do it too much at home. Don't worry, though, if I head in a direction that he's not OK with, he'll let me know. With that in mind, this family mission statement will probably be written by me and approved by him.

I'm not sure if that's a cop out or if I'm just that good!

I have been doing the research and will be doing most of the schooling, so I guess it makes sense that I answer the questions regarding what I'm going to teach and how. I'm planning on teaching the kids together using unit studies. Scott just wants assurance that they'll be learning what they need to according to someone's standards. That's something I worry about too, but I've found a few places where standards have been written and they will be figured into our studies.

We'll use a combination of reading, hands-on, and field trip studying to accomplish our goals. I'm going to attempt to use units that appeal to both Jace and Gracie. I would like to have some things that Gracie is more interested in, though, so that she can "teach" Jace a little bit. He is a little cocky about knowing more than her, coloring better than her, etc. I'd love Gracie to feel some pride and joy in telling him about something.

Scott and I have always tried to allow the kids to follow their natural interests, but we also want them to be well rounded. Boy or girl, our kids will know how to cook, clean, sew, change a tire, use a hammer, and put things together. This will be kept in mind throughout all our studies. Even though I'll be doing most of the teaching, I plan on using Scott when he's available. When he's in off-crew I'll plan a study where the kids can do a little wood working with him, or something fun like that. I'm also not opposed to getting extended family and friends into the mix too. If I happen to know that someone has a special talent and they come close enough to tap that talent for a lesson or two with my students...well, then we will.

That's what I've thought about the past few days. I would like to create a formal statement but still have a few more areas to think about. But I guess I've got a good start.

Hmmm...maybe I am that good.

Should I Jump In?

Why not? I'm not going to jump in to homeschooling the kids next week, but I am jumping into my planning for next year. Yay!

I considered waiting until we get settled in Washington, but for a few reasons I've decided not to. First of all, I'm going to have plenty of unpacking and setting up our home to do. I don't really want to tackle that and figuring out what, when, where, how, and why I'm going to teach the kids for the year. Secondly, we aren't likely to get into a place there until July. I know that school doesn't start in the Pacific Northwest until September, but I'm eager to get started a little earlier than that. We're putting a lot of miles on the ol' minivan this summer and the kids are going to be ripe with fresh knowledge and excitement after traveling up the East coast and across the Northern US. I want to capture that momentum. Besides (and thirdly) I've got plenty of momentum of my own right now.

A year ago when the thought of homeschooling crossed my mind I felt extremely overwhelmed with the thought of staying with my kids 24/7 and being solely responsible for their academic upbringing along with every other aspect of it. But now I don't worry about that so much. Now I don't worry about that so much. In fact, since considering the option of homeschooling seriously I haven't felt overwhelmed at all. I've felt excited, but not in over my head.

Until now...but just a little bit.

I just found myself with papers scattered around me on the couch and six different pages open, all to try to figure out where to start and what to write on all these papers!

I've looked at so many websites and read a few books, flipped through others. I've learned a few things. One thing that I was happy to read early on is that I can't teach the kids everything. I think that's great news! They'll learn a lot in the Gebel Family Homeschool but they'll also learn in any number of other ways and they'll still never know everything. No one can. Good to know.

I also learned that when looking at the abundance of information out there about homeschooling take what appeals to you and leave the rest. That's the reason I've only flipped through a few of the books I've gotten from the library. Not everything seems like a good fit for me, as teacher, or for my kids, as learners.

So, with these two things in mind,here I sit with six fantastic sites and blank planning pages to fill out...

1. Our Busy Homeschool has become one of my daily reads. I'm inspired by most everything I read there. Tristan uses a year round school year and unit studies to educate her five kids.
2. Donna Young has a ton of planning tools (forms, lists, articles) to help you get organized and stay that way. She has a great step by step approach to planning for beginners. And that's me!
3. The Homeschool Classroom also has lots of information about getting ready for a new school year. The specific article I linked you to assumes that you're preparing for the new school year as your finishing the current homeschooling year. Since I'm not in that situation, I've tweaked some of the suggestions to fit our lives. For example, with our upcoming move, I'll be missing homeschool conventions here in Georgia and there in Washington. Attending convention is a common suggestion and one that I think would be a great way to really immerse myself in the homeschooling world. Lucky for me The Old Schoolhouse is having an Online Expo. I'm registered and excited!
4. Curriculum Choice has a "New to homeschooling" button that provides you with a wealth on info, including how not to feel overwhelmed and how to write a family mission statement. I don't know if we'll get a mission statement in print before Scott leaves for his school in two days, but it's surely something I'll be working on over the next few weeks. I'll be working continually on not feeling overwhelmed.
5. and 6. There are two homeschooling methods that intrigue me. I'll probably lean toward using unit studies but with a dash of Charlotte Mason Education thrown in (if it's possible to toss in such a wonderful and in depth learning program).

So, here I am...jumping in feet first. Now that I've outlined my online resources for you I feel ready to start writing something. But, that will have to wait until tomorrow...it's past my bed time.

Good night for now. I'll keep you posted on the planning of our family school soon enough...sweet dreams!

New Hats

People don't wear hats like that used to. Maybe one of these years I'll get an Easter bonnet. I've always secretly loved those pastel, floral hats. But this year I have two new hats to wear...so I'm going to wait on the Easter bonnet.

What new hats?

Landlord and teacher.

That's right...our tenants just left. They came over and signed the papers and will move in May 1st! I'm so excited. I'm so thrilled to be going back to Washington. I miss so many people and things there and have lots of plans already! And, of course, I couldn't be more relieved that we do get to follow Scott. We could have made it for a year apart, or however long it might have lasted, but we didn't want to. We really didn't want to.

And not only did we rent the house out, but we rented it to a couple we like. They seem nice and are family oriented. They have young boys who will love the yard and the woods. Jace took their oldest out to show him where the bridge is to cross the ditch to the neighbors in case there is a fire. I think they'll be happy here.

I know we'll be happy that they're here.

And what about my teacher hat? Well...(drum roll please)...I'm going to homeschool the kids next year. I know some of you are smiling, thinking you've rubbed off on me just a little...and maybe you have. I know some of you think I'm making a big mistake, but we don't believe we are. We've talked about this and I've researched it. I believe that I will be a good teacher for our kids, that I'll always keep in focus their best interests, and that I'll challenge them...God knows they'll challenge me. I'm going tomorrow to get a few books for me to read and learn how to prepare some more. I've got to get me and the kids prepared for this change, which will be an incredible, positive, and exciting time for us.

Hopefully you're excited for us too. These new hats both mean a lot to our family. We're headed in a terrific direction and the journey is gonna be fun, fulfilling, and unforgettable!

Catching Lightning In a Jar

Do you remember chasing lightning bugs when you were little? Trying to cup the little bright flying bugs in your hands and then store them in a glass jar that you'd prepared with holes poked through the metal screw on top? And later, when mom and dad yelled out that it was time to come in for the night, you'd open the jar and let them all go out into the night?

Well, Jace is up to something...something less youthful and joyful. He's building a girl trapping machine.

Every day he comes home from school and tells me about his "team's" progress in trapping girls. It started with just chasing them, but those pesky girls kept getting away. After that Jace wore sand colored camo shirts (he has two, one with a firetruck on the front) so that he could blend with the sand on the playground and jump out to get them. (Of course, he'd lay on his stomach to cover the firetruck.) He even started tucking his shirts in so that he wouldn't get sand in his clothes.

When that didn't work they started planning some sort of machine. He wanted straws so they could bury themselves in the sand and still breath fresh air. He wanted rubber bands for some reason too, but I never clearly understood that. They were going to tie purple bows to the straws so the girls would see them and be intrigued.

"They'll be like, 'Oh, how pretty,' and come over to see them and we'll grab them!" he excitedly explained to me.

"What are you going to do with them once you catch them?"

"Hmmmm. I don't know. I'll call a meeting of my team to talk about it." That was a few days ago. I asked again yesterday and he said they'd decided to tie them to poles. Oh goodness.

And on Tuesday he was pretty bummed because it was raining in the morning. I asked why he was so upset about the rain and he explained how they wouldn't be able to go outside at school and then they'd be behind in the goal they'd set for themselves with the number of girls they wanted to catch. I considered teaching him the word 'quota' but decided against it.

What ever happened to lightning bugs? Seriously!?

Dressing Up Those Greens

I first mentioned going Primal in my post about my new trainer. By the way, she's still getting my heart rate up there! Have you started a new workout routine yet?

Anyway, the whole movement intrigues me! If you're not sure what it is...basically it's eating and exercising in the same fashion as our early ancestors, cavemen types. Ever since hearing about it a few weeks ago I've been reading a ton online about it and have incorporated some of the ideas into my life. I play more...which is great and the kids love it. Although it is hard to stay hidden in hide-n-seek when Tyler is standing on your back. But we're laughing a lot and I think I'm more fun than I was a few weeks ago. I'm also working out in primal ways, running around outside, sprinting on occasion, lifting heavy things. I haven't embraced going barefoot yet, but give me time...

As far as the diet goes, it's similar to other low carb diets, but I find it easier to wrap my brain around and it's actually very similar to how I was eating when I was looking so fine a few years ago, between Jace and Gracie. I've needed to find a way to get there again...I like this avenue and have high hopes for my health. Already I'm back to eating my eggs in the morning. It's amazing how much longer I feel satisfied than when I have a bowl of cereal! I've stopped having a pop tart for snack and enjoy an apple or nuts. I'm not missing my carbs. I have more energy and don't feel exhausted at the end of the day. I've even stopped wanting something sweet after dinner. I hadn't even noticed that until yesterday when I was putting dishes away and noticed the little bowl of chocolates up in the cupboard, set aside for after dinner, untouched for several days. So, even though the numbers on the scale haven't gone down yet, they're not going up anymore. That's a good start.

And I tell you all this to say that I'm also eating more salads, which I'd fallen away from. I used to love a great salad for lunch. And I do again. Eating primal means none of the dressings off the store shelves, not even the ones that are lower fat or whatever they're called. I've always thought that it should be possible to eat healthy without buying a bunch of cool packaging and low fat everything. Living primal claims to do just that. So, if I'm not going to eat Catalina or Ranch on my salad, I'm left with oil based ones, which I don't know a lot about. So, I found this list of 10 homemade dressings and I thought I'd share them with you all.

1. Raspberry Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
1/2 cup raspberry vinegar
1 tbsp of honey
1 tbsp fresh mint leaves, finely chopped

Method:
Pour vinegar in a mason jar or other container with a tight lid. Add honey and chopped mint, cover with lid and shake. If still too bitter, add in a bit more honey or Splenda to even out the flavor.

2. Citrus Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
1 tbsp white balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp fresh squeezed orange juice
1 tbsp fresh squeezed grapefruit juice
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
6 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp chopped walnuts
2 tbsp grated Romano or Parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
Again, in a large mason jar or container with a tight lid, combine the vinegar, orange juice, grapefruit juice, lime juice, and lemon juice. Drizzle in the olive oil while whisking vigorously. Once mixed, add the walnuts and cheese and stir. Season with salt and pepper to taste

3. Dill Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tbsp honey (or 1 packet of Splenda)
1/2 tsp dried dill weed
1/8 tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp dry mustard
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
In a blender, combine the oil, vinegar, sugar, dill weed, onion powder, garlic powder, dry mustard. Blend until smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cover and refrigerate until chilled.

4. Balsamic Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/2 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp Dijon mustard
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
In a mason jar or other container with a tight lid, combine all the ingredients. Shake until all ingredients are combined. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

5. Basil Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
1 cup olive oil
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
3 tbsp chopped fresh basil (it’s very important here to use fresh – it’s not nearly as good with dried leaves!)
2 cloves garlic, minced

Method:
In a bowl, whisk together the olive oil, apple cider vinegar, basil, and garlic. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

6. Parsley Dressing

Ingredients:
3 tsp olive oil
2 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp onion powder
2 tsp chopped parsley

Method:
In a bowl, combine the olive oil, lemon juice and onion powder. Once combined, add in the chopped parsley, mix thoroughly with a whisk and serve.


7. Lemon Caesar Dressing

Ingredients:
1 tsp lemon peel (finely grated)
3 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp anchovy paste
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tbsp sour cream
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
In a bowl, whisk all ingredients except oil and sour cream. Once combined, slowly add oil, whisking constantly until smooth (if you stop, the dressing could break). Once combined, whisk in sour cream until smooth and creamy. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

8. Asian Dressing

Ingredients:
1/2 cup orange juice (about 2 large oranges)
1/3 cup white vinegar
2 tbsp sesame seeds
1 tbsp Asian mustard (should be easily found in the ethnic food aisle of your local grocery store)1/4 tsp kosher salt
1 medium garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp sesame oil

Method:
In a bowl, whisk together orange juice, vinegar, sesame seeds, mustard, sugar, salt, and garlic. Once combined, slowly whisk in sesame oil.

9. Ginger-Asian Dressing

Ingredients:
1 carrot, fresh, small, peeled and shredded
2 tbsp white wine vinegar
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1 tbsp low sodium soy sauce
1/2 tsp sesame oil
2 tbsp minced onion
1 tbsp hot mustard
1 tbsp fresh ginger root, grated

Method:
Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth.

10. French Style Dressing

Ingredients:
1/2 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp white pepper, ground
1 tsp unsalted tomato paste
7 tbsp olive oil
1/3 cup red or white wine vinegar
2 tsp water
1/2 tsp fresh chopped onion

Method:
In a large mason jar or other container with a tight lid, combine all ingredients, shake it up and serve.

All of these recipes are from Mark's Daily Apple which is by Mark Sisson. If you're interested in finding out more about living Primal, his blog is a good place to start. My favorite thing about it is that in the upper right hand corner you can search for something, anything that you want to know more about, and you'll be met with with a bunch of different posts that might answer your questions in several clear and helpful ways! Give it a look...

And try some of these dressings! I know I'm going to. We had the balsamic last night. Mmmm....

24 Hours

That's a long time, right? I used to think so. In fact I remember when I was younger and on summer vacation and making it through three hours in the afternoon with nothing to do seemed like forever. But lately, let's say over the last several years, a full 24 hours has not seemed like long enough to get everything done that needs to be, or at least not get it all done well.


First off, I need sleep. I know some people who get five or six hours a night and then drink pots of coffee to keep going throughout the day. I don't like coffee and I don't like to keep my body going with other caffeine sources, although I admittedly do sometimes. I need at least eight hours to feel refreshed and remain my happy self the other 16 hours.


That's right...if I get my beauty rest* then I've now only got 16 hours to get the kids, the laundry, the house, and myself clean (and it sadly usually happens in that order)! Thankfully Scott can clean himself, but there are other tasks to tend to aside from cleaning. There are groceries to buy and put away, not to mention making them into palatable concoctions. There are books to read, games to play, and kids to take to and from school. Nails need to be painted with Dora sparkly nail polish. People need their heads shaved, their buttons sewn on, and their toe nails clipped. Recycling and garbage** have to make it to the garage and once a week to the curb. And let's not forget play dates, Cub Scouts, holidays, vacations, speech therapy, social gatherings, visiting, and the possibility of simply relaxing.


In the midst of all this, that must somehow fit into 16 hours, I'm supposed to find time to exercise? Yup...that's where this whole post has been leading! I've been walking pretty regularly with Tyler for the last two weeks while we wait in the afternoon for Jace to get out of school. Jace's day ends at 2:30 but I need to be in line to pick him up around 2:00 or I won't make it to Gracie's school in time to get her and I'll have to pay for after school care. I have spent that half hour waiting doing a variety of things over the past 100 or so days. I used to regularly edit my articles and work on new ideas, but then Tyler decided to be awake and climb on me making writing a difficult task. Until the last couple of weeks I mostly read books or worked in puzzle books. Sometimes I call someone and chat the time away. But I've decided to walk for that half hour. I must say...it feels good. I love walking, but it often feels like a waste of time that could be better spent doing anything in the previous paragraph. Maybe that little step (it's actually several hundred steps) will lead to a healthier me. We shall see.

I'm still not sure how to divvy up my remaining 15 1/2 hours fairly to complete the rest of what needs to be done, but at least I'm multitasking smartly for 1/48th of my day.

Special notes:


*I know it has long been thought that the phrase "beauty rest" refers to the looks of a person. However, I believe the intended meaning is that our moods become prettier with adequate slumber. Trust me...if I don't get enough sleep I'm rather ugly.


**Please say a little prayer that we remember to take the garbage out this week. We've missed the last two weeks and pretty soon we'll be running our own dump. And I just noticed that garbage and garage are only one letter different...odd.

Personality

I'm not always one to be overly outgoing. I tend to show my true colors only after I've felt you out and you've felt me out and we've somehow mutually decided that we'll be friends. Even though you might not hear me tell a story that I think is so funny I snort and cry in my laughter until we've hung out for a year or two...I'm still pleasant. I see no reason not to be.

I like flashing a smile when I meet you on the sidewalk. There's no reason not to say hello to the greeter at Walmart. If you've bagged my groceries and are walking me out to the car to then put them in my trunk...well, then, why wouldn't we chat about the weather?

Now, I also tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I mean, even I, who bubbles with friendliness, has off days. On those days my eyes might not meet yours, or my smile might be contrived. Nobody can be 'on' all the time.

All this said, there are are two women I have issue with. One is a bagger at our commissary. (If you're unfamiliar, the commissary is the grocery store on base. There are baggers who "work for tips only" and will also take your purchases to your vehicle and load them in for you.) I've seen her in the aisles of the store while she's on breaks. She's been at the end of my cashier's lane more than a few times. I've lived here for over two years. We've interacted. However, she has never said more to me than, "Plastic or paper?" She answers my questions with as short an answer as possible. And she wears a permanent scowl. I try not to judge, but really...you work with people! I bet if someone kept track the other baggers made more with their tips than she does because they smile or say hi to my kids or any of it! Enjoy yourself...just a little.

The other woman I haven't given years to impress me. She is a parent at Gracie's preschool. We've been there for two months! In that time, though, she's been on the phone every time I see her. I'm not really sure if she's talking to someone every morning and afternoon or if she uses the phone as a way to keep people at a distance. It's not just the phone that annoys me, though. She also keeps her foot in the door when signing her daughter in so there's no way she'll be trapped inside and faced with possible conversations. She doesn't say good bye to her daughter, just ushers her through the door, signs the sheet, and leaves. I have seen her give a brief wave to the teachers. And she parks in such a way that she'll be able to get out, regardless of what chaos this brings to the rest of the parents. The drop off portion of the parking lot is a one way U shape. She has never driven through it that I've seen. She parks in the entrance so the tail of her car is almost still on the road, then backs out when she's ready to leave. I have also seen her pull up on the grass, not in the driveway at all. This act, in and of itself, is not offensive. It's what most of us do when we don't want to get stuck in the U part, waiting for parents in front of us to come back out. However, instead of pulling straight out into the road and going on her way after scurrying out of the school, she does a 3-point turn in the road, stopping traffic in all directions.

Now, this woman might not annoy me quite as much, although probably, but her daughter is also unpleasant. She's not nice to Gracie and I'll assume she's not all that great with the other kids either. She's rude, bossy, takes things, a little brat. If I knew just her I'd think, "What a little imp," but having met(?) her mother I instead think, "How sad."

It seems to me that taking a little time to be cordial, pleasant, considerate to others encourages others to carry that positivity on in their days. It's discouraging when the rest of us consistently have to make up for one or two people's crabbiness, especially when we have to make up for it by trying to tolerate your kid's reaction to you. Frustrating. And I'm not even the teacher.

So, let your personality shine...and if it's a little dull, start polishing. Give it a good spit shine. Please.