"Tell me about your relationship with your mother..."

I know it's not always the mother that is the root of all mental health issues, but lately I feel like it is going to be me that the kids will have deep seeded issues they'll need to work out on some one's couch some day.  Does anyone still use a couch?  Probably...probably those that cost an arm and a leg...good thing Gracie has several jobs lined up and Jace is crazy smart and Tyler's going to be a robber.  That way they can pay for all the therapy I feel like I'm setting them up for. 

(For the record, I don't think Tyler's going to be a robber - Jace does.  I see him more as a cool high school teacher and coach.)

OK, I'm hopefully not really causing that much mental anguish, but I kind of feel like I'm a total wreck and, therefore, not being a great mama.  Last night I walked downstairs to look at the classroom, which I hadn't thought about in a week and a half.  I blew.  I yelled every one's name and scolded them for the mess and yelled at them to clean it up.  I made myself very clear that anything that was in my way this morning when I came down to teach them would get put in a garbage bag and thrown into the garbage bin.  Then I stomped upstairs immediately regretting the yelling, what I said, how I said it. 

Our classroom is also our playroom.  There are Legos (a lot of Legos) that are allowed to stay out and set up on a coffee table very near our classroom table.  So, obviously, when not kept in check, the little Lego men expand their lands under the table and on the table and wherever else they can think of.  It only makes sense.  And Gracie likes to color and those materials are in a cart right next to the table too.  So, again, when not kept in check, they'll get left on the table and dropped on the floor.  I haven't been checking.  The kids are 7, 5, and 3 years old...they haven't been caring.  Of course the table is covered and the floor is covered.  Of course. 

Of freakin' course! 

So I cried.  I haven't been sleeping well, although not for lack of trying.  I miss my husband more than I thought I would, which probably sounds bad, but honestly he hasn't been around much the last few months anyway, so I didn't think his not being around at all would hurt so much.  That probably doesn't sound any better.  Anyway, I'm also trying to kick the treats of the holidays and my old friend Mt. Dew to the curb and might be suffering from withdrawal.  Whatever the reasons...I cried. 

And Gracie came up from cleaning up the classroom and gave me a big hug, and apologized for frustrating me by not picking up her toys.  The first thing that came to mind was the fact that abused women often apologize to their abusers for 'making them' so angry.  That's when I thought that it may not always be the mom, but in our case it might be.

And, while I sit here writing this, Tyler is sitting next to me counting the letters on my shirt.  (I didn't know he could count to six!)  And then he asked me what my t-shirt says.

SUPER MOM

SUPER WIFE

SUPER TIRED

That's the shirt...and when I read it to him?  You guessed it - I cried!  See?  I'm a wreck!  I don't feel super anything...except tired.  That definitely describes me these days.  

So, what's my point?  I don't want to be the reason my kids seek therapy in the future, but I fear that life isn't always about what I want.  Bummer, huh?

How Do You Do It: Parenting - Just Do It

So, it's been a few months since I wrote the first post on how I parent in my "How Do You Do It" series.  In that post I wondered if I needed to change.  I questioned if our strategies were too demanding, somehow told the kids they were loved conditionally, or were just completely wacky.  Here's what I've decided: - maybe sometimes, hopefully not, and probably!  Here's what I'm going to do about it - keep trying.

That's all I really can do, right?  Well, I guess I could opt out and run away, either physically or emotionally, and leave my children and husband wondering what in the world happened.  That doesn't feel like a real option though, at least not for more than an hour or two...then I need to put on my big girl panties, step up to the plate, think of a few of my favorite things and face the music.  In other words, perhaps there's no right or wrong.  Perhaps inspiration can be drawn from anywhere. 

Granted, beating my children is wrong.  Putting duct tape over their mouths may seem like a good idea sometimes, but it isn't, ever.  There are definitely some no-no's in parenting.  Those things really aren't parenting though.  But within the range of acceptable parenting, I think there are many strategies and styles that can be effective and loving. 

I'm sure my kids sometimes feel like I withhold love from them unless they behave a certain way.  I think all kids probably feel unloved from time to time.  In the end, though, as long as the focus of my parenting is loving them, I'm pretty convinced they'll be OK. 

In the last parenting post I talked about a book I'd read part of, Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting: Moving From Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason.  Since then I've gotten it again and re-read it.  I think it's a wonderful resource and gave me a lot to think about.  And I'm passionate about thinking.  Sometimes so much so that I over think things.  (I know...you're shocked!)  I really do believe, though, that thinking about how I parent is a great thing...for me and our kids.  It can only make me a better parent.  

However, there were a few things that kept coming to the surface for me while I read the book.  First, he was talking about how kids who are disciplined, either with rewards or punishments, may feel conditionally loved and how that can lead to all sorts of problems in childhood and beyond.  I can't speak to other people's childhoods, but mine was one that involved both reward and punishment.  I can tell you the last time I got a spanking.  I'm not sure it was the appropriate discipline, but I'm not willing to say it wasn't either.  I got the message, I'll tell you that much!  And I didn't feel unloved.  In fact there's a country song for this.  (Anyone who knows me well is probably smiling.  "There's a country song..." is my version of, "One time, at band camp...") 

Daddy's Hands (this version is by Dolly Parton and Holly Dunn) is a beautiful song that explains how children might not understand in the moment, but can in the long run, that their parents love them unconditionally.  "Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand...there was always love in Daddy's hands."  I know my parents love me, then and now.

Then there's Danny Tanner...many a lesson was learned from him and all the trouble his family got into!  I remember one episode when DJ had done something.  I don't remember what, though.  She was anxiously awaiting some horrible punishment.  Instead, Danny told her how disappointed in her he was and had her go to her room to think about it.  Alfie Kohn states in his book that sending the kids to time out or to their rooms, or walking away from them, is a way of withholding your love.  I don't think any of those Tanner kids were unloved!  And DJ learned her lesson, I'm sure.  Since I don't remember what she did I don't know what lesson she learned...but every episode came with a lesson!

The other thing that jumped at me from the book is that there's no formula to follow.  I wanted that!  I was looking for the following blanks to be filled in:

• When you're trying to keep child B calm while she gives a vile of blood and child C is repeatedly ringing the bell (ding, ding, ding, ding) and child A is egging him on, you should __________.
• When child A whines every time you ask him to do anything, you should _________.
• When child B slams her door and stomps her feet, you should _________.

You get the idea.  I really wanted that.  I wanted to have a book that I could go to and flip open to page 462 when looking for advice on wiping a 7-year-old's rear or page 36 when not knowing what to do about 5-year-olds who wake up repeatedly throughout the night.  I thought that's what I wanted.

But, that might have been me thinking too much.  Because, you know what?  I've handled all these situations without a directory of parenting methods to turn to.  And I love my kids.  Jace may say that I'm one of the strictest parents in Washington state, but he'll also tell you I'm not the strictest in the World.  I don't know where he draws the line, but I've learned that he's usually right.  So, I'm apparently doing OK, at least on a world scale.  And even if I am strict, I love my kids! 

So, I'm glad I read the book.  It has brought about some changes.  I have begun questioning if behaviors are signs of a problem we can solve together or something that just needs to be dealt with.  There are some situations that I still don't have answers for.  And that's just fine.  Parenting isn't science, nor is it abstract art.  It probably falls someplace in the middle.  So, I'm going to say it's kind of like exercise.  There are lots of ways to work it out and changing it up now and then can result is excellent progress.  So, lace up your shoes and just do it*! 

*I don't know what's kosher or not about using Nike's slogan, so I want to be sure to give credit where credit is do.  They thought of it, not me!  By the way, did you know it's been around for over 20 years?  Wow!

How Do You Do It: Parenting - Do We Need a Change?

Scott and I get asked a lot how we would handle a specific situation with our kids.  How we get them to go to bed.  How we get them to listen.  All sorts of questions that imply we're good parents.  I'm always a bit baffled that others see us as such great parenting role models.  I certainly don't feel like the best mom, at least not all the time.  But, on the other hand, I also feel like our kids are reasonably great kids.  There's a decent chance that Scott and I had something to do with that, I guess.  Right?  (Don't I sound confident?)

So, maybe we do have something to offer about how to parent.  But maybe not.  I guess it's up to you to decide. 

Scott and I are talkers and planners.  I think this helps as parents.  We can take any one subject and analyze it from every which way until we end up with a plan of attack that we think is a good start.  We usually have a Plan B, just in case.  When we learned we were going to have a baby we discussed how we'd do x, y, and z.  I think we felt pretty confident in our strategies and, like I said, haven't done too badly.  However, there's always room for improvement.  Always.

We've been known to let our kids cry it out, even when I didn't feel totally OK with this, but didn't know what else to do.  Scott's famous (really...it was on the radio!) for his two rules about crying:

1. Stand up when you cry.
2. Only one at a time.

We also have shared this little gem more than once, "Children are like terrorists and we do not negotiate with terrorists."

Now some of you might be reading this thinking we're right on.  Others might be hoping our kids make it to adulthood without any serious emotional scars.  I have to admit I stand someplace in the middle at this point.

As you know, I've been working on creating a more primal life for our family.  I was first inspired to revamp our food choices and strategies for being active.  Over the last several months I've begun reading some other blogs and articles that have me wondering about many other areas of our lives...including our parenting plan.  I read an article on parenting in Hunter-Gatherer societies and really began thinking about how we parent.  Was it time for some improvements?

The article mentioned a book by Alfie Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving From Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason.  I decided to read it and see what improvements I could make.  How can I be an even better mom?

Well, I've read some of it.  I read the first few chapters and found myself wondering, "So, what do I do?"  Kohn seemed to have some pretty good reasons why my current strategy of parenting was more about control than helping my children become well-rounded and responsible adults.  I found myself agreeing with him that it does seem a bit childish to punish kids for not doing something by taking something else away.  The tit-for-tat auto response I seemed to have never felt quite right for me, but I didn't know what else to do.  And Kohn wasn't much help in the beginning of his book. 

So, I skipped several chapters.  I jumped right to the middle of the book and the principles of unconditional parenting.  First of all, the main focus of unconditional parenting is that our children feel loved unconditionally.  And it's about what they feel not what I think I'm portraying.  I know, I know...it sounds tricky, doesn't it. 

"When you come right down to it, the whole process of raising a kid is pretty damned inconvenient, particularly if you want to do it well.  If you're unwilling to give up any of your free time, if you want your house to stay quiet and clean, you might consider raising tropical fish instead."

That's probably my favorite quote from the whole book, at least the whole of what I read!  And I'm so glad Kohn sees that he's asking a lot from us as parents.  He also shares times that he struggles to live up to the standards he's set for himself.  I always feel better when others struggle like I do and when they want to struggle and be the best they can for their kids, like I do too.

So, it's not easy.  There's no special formula.  But do what you can to ensure your kids feel loved as often as possible. 

But, how do I do that?

Kohn suggests not rewarding for good behavior or punishing for poor behavior.  What?  That's what I said.  He wonders how our relationships would improve with our children is we stopped assuming they were testing limits, acting with malicious intent, trying to push our buttons and started asking why they're acting the way they are.  And what if we approached situations as problems to be solved rather than behavior to be punished or corrected?

He asks us to determine our long term goal as parents, and keep them in mind.  Sometime we need to stop the behavior immediately (running into traffic) but other times we just want the behavior to end (fighting over chores).  When the immediate ceasing of the behavior isn't necessary, what if we looked at the "problem" with our long term goal of creating responsible adults in mind.  And what if we gave our children enough respect so they could be part of the solution.

Just the other day I wanted Jace to do his math work and he wasn't.  He was digging his heels in and wanted to stand on his chair and all sorts of other things.  Initially I thought that he was simply testing me to see how far he could go.  I'd been reading Kohn's book, though, and decided to ask more and talk less, and see if the two of us together could reach a solution.  I first gave him the option of sitting in his chair or standing on the floor, letting him know either would be fine with me.  He (of course) asked if he could sit on the floor.  I didn't give an immediate "NO" without even thinking, which I'm quite guilty of doing.  Instead, I thought for a second and responded, "Not yet.  I'm helping Gracie too.  But if you'll sit in your chair or stand on the floor while I explain what you need to do, then you can sit on the floor with your lap desk to complete the assignment."  And that's what he did.  In fact, he sat on the floor and did three lessons instead of one!

So, maybe Kohn's on to something.  I'm not completely sold that I don't need to have a little control, but I do agree that controlling the kids should not be my goal and that if it appears to them that I'm not loving them then I'm not being the mom I want to be.

All in all, I don't know if I was any help to you!  But, if you're curious to learn more, go find the book yourself and give it a go!  Let me know what you learn.  As for my reading of it...I have to take it back to the library.  Someone else has a hold on it.  But I'm putting a hold on it again so I can get it back out and read more and again!

One note I'd like to make about parenting...Do your best to squash the guilt.  Even though I'm considering the very real possibility that the way I've been parenting for the last seven years has not been ideal, I'm not going to waste time beating myself up over it.  Do your best to live in the present and do your best now...and love them!  That's what it's all about in the end anyway.  Love them.

Dirty Laundry

I feel like I've been doing a lot of laundry lately. I mean what mom doesn't? Right?! I've been looking into the back yard trying to determine where I want to hang my clothes line. I'm pretty excited about hanging laundry on the line. There's something comforting about it. I probably complained about having to do it when I was a kid, but now, as an adult, it holds some sort of romance for me. Like getting in touch with a simpler time. The reality of it likely won't live up to the day dreamed version, but it will still be a nice option for freshening our clothes!

There are other sorts of things I've been thinking about lately too. Last night we ate dinner on the porch in the back of our house. I was ready to throttle Gracie (in the most loving and motherly way, of course) over eating her dinner. I was highly aware of the houses on either side of me, with their back yard porches. I wondered if anyone could hear me. If so, did they care?

For the last three years I've lived a ways from neighbors. I haven't been concerned with anyone hearing me scold my little monsters. And, without a clothes line, I haven't been concerned about hanging my intimates with teen boys next door. Are these things everyone worries about?

And what about letting the kids play at the neighbors? They actually stay outside and watch their kids ride bikes, run amok, and be silly. Maybe it's because I'm not studying or doing yard work (that's what the parents I've met have been doing) but I don't want to sit outside for hours and watch them play. These other parents have said, "You're kids are very well behaved," and "It's fine if they come down. No problem." But how much is too much? We don't have a bounce house or kiddie pool. Most of our outdoor toys are still in a box. Even once we get them out, our yard is bumpy as all get out and the grass is rough. I don't think the kids will want to play here. So, is it OK to let them play down the road for hours every day?

There are so many things to consider, aside from the placement of the wall hangings, when moving to a new neighborhood. No wonder I'm a little tired out! Well, that and the weather. It's almost 90 today. I'm sitting here, typing, and sweating. I got used to me AC in Georgia. Here in Washington we sweat it out! Maybe I'll lose a pound. Hey one can dream, right?

Getting Here, Getting There

If you follow my blog at all, you know that we recently moved from Southern Georgia to Western Washington via Western New York. It was a long and exciting couple of months.

The last five days of the trip were driving from New York to Washington in a little caravan. Here's what I saw:













Occasionally I looked in the rear view and saw this:
























Sometimes when we'd stop I've even get to see this:






Or this:




And when we stopped at Mt. Rushmore I got to see this:



Oh, yeah, and this too:





As you can see, we had a great trip. We're unpacking and settling in. In fact, I think all the mover's boxes are unpacked. I'm not guaranteeing that everything has been put away yet, but it's all out of the boxes. And I will admit, too, that there are a few unpacked boxes of books that we'd packed up many moons ago when we had to clean up our Georgia home to get it on the market. But those should be unpacked and put on shelves in no particular order in another day or two. Pictures are on our walls. We've eaten inside at the dining room table and outside on the deck, once because we couldn't find the dining room table. But the other time was because we wanted to enjoy the weather!

We're eating well and ready to lose the poundage we put on over the last few months. I've been back on Mark's Daily Apple and am stocking the cupboards, fridge, and freezer with Primal friendly foods (minus the goods I bought to make chocolate peanut butter chip cookies for a neighborhood 4th of July party!). I've found a local CSA and plan to visit them personally to learn more by the end of next week.

We've got plans to start swimming as a family, camping, and hopefully fishing. Scott got a bike to commute with. The kids have made friends in the neighborhood.

Life is good. We're getting there. And we're happy to be headed in the right direction.

Starting to Feel Like Home

We've almost been in our new digs for a week! Time flies, as they say. And it's not only starting to look lived in but to feel like home too. For example, this morning the kids were in the bathroom together and giggling a lot, so I checked in.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?"

"Farting!"

There ya have it. Apparently they're feeling comfortable in their new surroundings. I'll be making some cookies tomorrow for a BBQ at the neighbors. Nothing makes a house feel more like home than baking.

Tyler's bed got put together today. He was the last holdout...but the hardware was in one of boxes that got emptied today. Don't worry, though, he's been sleeping just fine on his mattress on the floor. He took a four hour nap today before Scott put the frame together!

We've met some of the neighbors and are sticking around here for eating and merry-making tomorrow night. Hopefully everyone enjoys our cookie offering and we'll get off on the right foot with our little neighborhood...because this is home.

Unit Studies

My grand plan for homeschooling includes unit studies. I'm really hoping and praying that they work well for our kids because I'm really excited about them! I've planned a few that we'll be playing with this summer to see how we work together as teacher and student and so I can get a feel for how the kids actually learn. I know how they play...loudly...but I haven't watched them in school so I don't know if my assumptions about their learning styles are on or not. We'll see...

But anyway, back to unit studies. Apparently I'm not the only one who likes them. If you google "unit studies" you get pages of links. Recently, though, I haven't had to google it. A few of the blogs I follow have written very helpful how to's. Tristan, whom I follow at Our Busy Homeschool, writes for Latter-Day Homeschooling and posted Simple Unit Study Planning a few days ago. And Samantha, of To Be Busy at Home, posted Planning a Unit Study Step By Step: Choosing Fiction Books. Check them out!

And if you do google unit studies or go to About.com or Suite 101, you can find even more info...including some already prepared lesson plans.

If you're not a homeschooler you can utilize all these great links too. One thing I'm learning is that I already lean this direction with my kids. When we go on trips we might read about where we're going first or they might color pictures of the flags of the states we'll be driving through. Those are exactly the types of things unit studies, and homeschooling in general, is about. So, with summer coming up, you might find some great ideas for things to keep your kids busy when they're bored...the second week of break!

Learning Along The Way

We're on the road. Well, technically, right now we're in a hotel. But we've left Georgia. We're in South Carolina. We'll make it to Maryland tomorrow and do DC this weekend! I can't wait!

So, lessons have I learned on this day?

Well...it's race day in Darlington, SC this weekend. I thought that I'd be all relaxed about this little leg of our trip and not make reservations or even plan on where to stop tonight. Well, we made it to 20 minutes Southeast of Darlington. The first exit we looked for rooms at was booked. Thankfully we did get a room at the second exit. And in time for Survivor. (yay!)

Jace thinks I'm cool. Since today was his last day of school he gave me the Mother's Day card he'd made rather than waiting until Friday or Sunday. He basically wrote this: "My mom is cool. She whistles like the wind. She lets us cuss. My mom likes to cuddle with me. And she lets me buy Nerf guns with my own money." Isn't he too sweet! I'm thinking he threw the cussing thing in there hoping the power of suggestion would work for him!

Tyler can sleep through a gymnasium of Kindergarten, 1st graders, and 2nd graders yelling and cheering for their teachers. We spent the whole day at Jace's school today for his field day. All morning we were outside playing. Then we came in and had lunch, after which we went to the gym for class activities. After the classes all competed in tug o' war the teachers and parents got out there. I, unfortunately, couldn't go because Tyler was sleeping in my lap. And he slept through all the rowdy, loud, shouting. I couldn't believe it!

If you don't strap Tyler into his car seat, he will sit in it anyway and not get out and play. Very smart boy. For about 15 minutes after we left the school Tyler kept saying, "Ut-oh," and I'd ask him what was wrong and he'd grunt something unintelligible. He didn't sound too worried or hurt so I'd just say, "OK...you're all right." Finally, Gracie looked over and told me Tyler wasn't strapped in! Too much focus on snacking and not enough on safety before hitting the road, I guess. I promise to pay more attention next time.

Teachers have one exhausting job. Not only did I spend today in Jace's class, but I was in Gracie's yesterday. They've just completed 1st grade and pre-k. In Gracie's class of soon-to-be-Kindergarteners, there were kids reading words and kids learning to identify letters or name the last letter in their name. In Jace's class there are reading levels ranging from 4th grade down to whatever level is still learning sight words and phonics. We reviewed odd and even numbers in 1st grade this morning and not everyone got it right. We talked about odd and even numbers yesterday in Gracie's class and not everyone got it right there either, but some did. I didn't fully realize the range of students teacher's have to teach. And then there are the maturity levels. Both classes had kids who listened the first time and kids who didn't listen the fourth or fifth time. Both classes had kids to sat quietly and waited for the next instruction and those who couldn't sit quietly even if that was the instruction. I've known that teaching is a tough job and one that I've always had great respect for. But after two days in the classroom...I'm going to write personal thank you notes to my kids' teachers. They were given wonderful attention these past few years and I don't think the thanks I've already given was enough.

Well, I guess that's as good a lesson learned to leave off on as any. Tomorrow's a big day, fully of driving and chatter. Wish us luck! Have a great weekend and a fabulous Mother's Day!!!

Things That Are On My Mind...

It's not even 9:00 in the morning and I'm tired. I could totally take a nap right now. The kids let me sleep in until 6:30 this morning. They actually tried to get up quietly...but 4 year olds don't whisper so quietly. "A" for effort, though.

Tyler hit the "call for help" button in the elevator on the way down to breakfast and it was still ringing when we took it back up after eating.

The breakfast bar was full of choices that made me feel sluggish just looking at them: cereal, bagels, muffins, waffles. Not a fruit to be seen. I'm craving bacon and eggs. Lunch will include these items.

The vast majority of stores in Georgia don't open on Sunday until noon. Noon is so long from now. I think all stores should be open when I want to shop at them. That's not too much to ask, right?

We have so much stuff. They took 12,000 pounds on the truck. Scott has stuff with him, and I still managed to pack the van. Gracie even noted, "It's a good thing Dada has the truck because he can't ride with us unless he holds the cooler on his lap." In truth he'd also have to hold the safe, the lap top, and a few assorted bags of this or that.

Jace is listing states and a few facts about them. He just read Nevada and Tyler got excited. "Dada?" Picture his little hands out, questioning. "Dada?" Jace explained, "No Dada, Nevada."
They do make me smile.

I'm going to end on that note. I won't dwell on being tired. I'll focus on smiling...smiling is good.

Remembering Grandpa

Today we saw a Ford truck. It's not all that unusual...we do currently live in the South, where there is a 50/50 chance that the next vehicle you see will be a truck. (I just made that up - probably not true.) And Scott owns a Ford truck, so we not only recognize them easily but the kids get excited because they're little connections to Dada.

So, today we saw one and Tyler pointed it out. Gracie commented that we should call Tyler "Ford" since he gets so excited when noticing trucks like Dada's. I laughed and shared with the kids that I tried to get Jace's middle name to be Ford, but Scott wouldn't go for it! Then Jace asked where his middle name did come from. Good question.

Jace's middle name was my paternal grandfather's name. He passed away when I was 20, long before the kids were even thoughts...at least in our minds. The kids asked questions that I tried to answer and I shared stories of Grandpa. It was really nice. I don't think I'd ever done that before. I think I should do it more often.

Like now, with you...

Grandpa was a little scary to me. He was lovable, but gruff. Once you got past the exterior, though, he was a teddy bear. He had a cat named "Roll Over." He drove milk truck. He competed in team sawing competitions. He and Grandma has a chicken BBQ for the 4th of July every year and Grandpa ate hot dogs. He didn't like chicken. He gave wonderful hugs and always leaned down to his grand kids and pointed to his cheek and said, "Give me a smack." Everyone knew this meant to give him a little kiss on the cheek. Well, everyone except my little sister who actually smacked him! He was surprised, but then laughed.

When we went to Grandpa and Grandma's we had watermelon seed spitting contest and played kickball in the yard. We helped feed the cows and ate great food. I remember jumping rope and playing hopscotch too.

I'm glad we didn't give Jace "Ford" as a middle name, Grandpa's is so much better! And it'll give me a reason to share stories of my grandfather from time to time, which leads to memories of Grandma and my other grandparents, and all those people I love who aren't here to be a direct part of my kids' lives, but who influence them none-the-less. We miss you all...and smile at you while you smile at us.

Spring Break

Our vacation in pictures...

Gracie after the big wave:And after we scrounged and found a pair of Liam's shorts (he just turned 3!) and a sweater that Gracie leaves in the van for grocery shopping (she always gets cold). The really funny thing is that just a few hours earlier I was saying how there were certain things my daughter would never wear in my presence. Hmm... The McPhee Family

Jace on a climbing wall at the playground.

A pirate comedy show with sea lions, a walrus, and a cute and quick otter!

Liam and Tyler waiting for the Shamu show to start.

Tyler entertaining himself in the lunch line.

The Dinosaur Restaurant at Downtown Disney.

Digging at the archaeological site while waiting to eat lunch.

Sean and Jace...quick friends. (Sean just turned 8 last month. Jace will be 7 in two months.)

The dolphin show:
This has got to be one of my favorite pictures.

Even the boys were intrigued.

As you can plainly see...we had SO much fun. Tyler got to say "baby" quite often with Claire (1 year old) and Sarah (8 weeks) around. He also got pretty good at "juice," "boat," and "play." He's been saying play quite often lately, but this past week it's become even more intelligible.

Gracie loved being a helper for Claire and Liam. She's already made plans to live near Uncle Mike and Aunt Cathy when she's older. And Jace's favorite thing about our entire trip was the cotton candy he got to eat at the whale show!

This and That

We have family in town. We're having a great visit and taking advantage of all the help we have. Scott's had his dad moving boxes all day long. Plus, my in-laws brought some venison with them and Tom (father-in-law) grilled it up for dinner. And Jane (mother-in-law) watched Tyler for the better part of the day so the guys could work and I could run errands and get a pap smear. I know, not the most exciting way to spend a morning child free...but so much easier to do without a two year old hanging close by.

They're here for a few more days and we have plans to go mini-golfing, should the weather cooperate, and maybe even take a bike ride on the beach. And, Scott and I are going out Saturday night. It's so nice to have family to help out.

Aside from that, today we had cake and ice cream for Scott's birthday. Nothing Primal about it, but it did taste good. Hopefully it won't mess with my stomach the way the fries and pop did the other day. Now that I'm eating so cleaning, putting any not-so-clean schtuff into my body doesn't always go over so well. But, i digress...Scott's birthday today! And poor guy has a sore throat. I think it's just all the pollen in the air, but knowing what it might be doesn't help it feel any better. Hopefully it'll improve soon.

One more piece of excitement: I registered for an online homeschool conference. I'm thrilled about it. Thanks to Our Busy Homeschool I found out that The Old Schoolhouse is hosting it's first ever online expo! I know...what great news! I'm especially giddy since I'll be missing the conventions here in Georgia and in Washington while we're on the road (for a month and a half!!!). So, I'm now registered for the Schoolhouse Expo. Once you register you get a virtual goody bag full of e-books, ideas, projects...all sorts of wonderful things. If you're homeschooling or interested in learning more...go check it out.

Have a great end to your week!

Stretching Food

There are lots of ways to stretch food. In soups you can add more milk or water or broth and throw in some beans or pasta or veggies. Essentially, I guess, you're making more soup, but it stretches the original batch none the less.

Casseroles are great for using leftovers, rather than tossing them out. I don't know about you, but I almost always have at least a serving and a half left over after a meal. Not enough for another meal, but too much to throw away. We also have leftover nights where we clean out the fridge and everyone gets their favorites while not having to suffer through things they didn't like the first time 'round.

Since we're talking about servings...did you know that a bag of chips (at least the one that's still in my cupboard) has 11 servings! Scott and I could easily finish a bag off between the two of us. When we started Weight Watchers and, therefore, started paying attention to serving size we found that things lasted much longer. That stretches the dollar I pay for groceries quite nicely.

My last idea isn't for everyone. But sometimes I just don't feed the kids.

They have gotten fussy and finicky and picky and particular and many other great descriptive words I could come up with. So, rather than putting a scoop of some side dish on their plates to get looked at funny, I put a fork full. They still won't actually try a full fork full, but I'm wasting a lot less that way. If they actually, by some alignment of the planets, like whatever decorated their plate they are welcome to more.

Now, of course, this creates even more leftovers, but at least they can actually be eaten or made part of a casserole, soup, wrap...something. If they get scraped into the trash, well, then no one gets them and I might as well toss my pennies away too. It's actually probably more like quarters with these three!

Who needs a gym?

Free weights? Kickboxing? Who needs it? Try grocery shopping with kids. It's a wonderful wholistic work out.

You think I'm kidding, don't you? I'm not.

Let's start in the parking lot with some stretching. First, I get my wrap out and hold Tyler, my 1-year-old son, against my chest while putting the wrap around him, under his arms and over my shoulders. Then I lean back a little and to each side to reach the straps that are hanging behind me and pull them around me to make an "X" on my back, hoping my shirt is semi-smooth and not showing rolls of...well, blubber that I use to stay warm in the cooler months. I have to hold Tyler with one hand and, using the other hand, feed the straps between his legs, through some loops, and back behind me to tie in a tight bow. Whew!

After that warm up, I gather the older two kids, Jace and Gracie, who are 5-years-old and 3-years-old respectively. I carry the diaper bag and eco-friendly canvas bags and hold Gracie's hand. Jace usually leads the way across the parking lot and to the store.

Thankfully the store has those space ship carts, or buggies, as they say in the South. I don't know what mama's did back in the day when all the kids had to walk! I don't want to think about it. Jace gets my heart pumping for the aerobic portion of my workout by climbing into the space ship himself. Then I pick Gracie up and set her in there too. Did I mention that Gracie is almost 40 pounds and 41 inches tall? For those of you not familiar with 3-year-olds, she's tall...just about as tall as the average 5-year-old. Jace is tall, too, but luckily I don't have to lift him that often.

Now that everyone's settled in their places its off through the store. First stop - the deli, then the produce section...usually by the time we get to the condiments, somebody has to go pee. I must admit that sometimes it's even me. Now, a trip to the bathroom involves hauling the kids out of the space ship, and out of the space ship is one of those unlucky times I lift Jace too. Then we walk the two or three aisles to the restrooms, then back to the cart. Breathe deep while Jace climbs in. Lift Gracie on the count of three. Back to the grocery list!

In order to get about 25-40% of my list (no, I didn't actually do the math...I'm just guesstimating) I need to squat down to the bottom shelf, get the goods, and get back up. That's with an over 20 pound child chest to chest with me. That'll really get the heart pumping.

In the middle of the store I do a slow sprint. Those are the aisles the health experts tell you to avoid, but I still go up and down each one. I move quickly, but slow enough that I can stop for Diet Mt. Dew or Sun Chips if they catch my eye. Usually during this phase of my workout I notice that Tyler's sleeping peacefully. That discovery fills me with a mixture of jealousy and adoring love. Who knew grocery shopping was so emotional?

Towards the end of the store I find that the cart getting very full. That's the only downfall I've found of the space ship cart...the cart part isn't as large as a regular one. Nothing is perfect. With this lack of space for things like diapers and cereal I now have to bend down, with a sleeping 20-something pound weight strapped to me, to start loading the rack underneath the basket. It's usually around now that the older kids have reached their limit and start working my patience out too. That leads to exercising my creativity in silly children's games. I told you this work out was wholistic.

After we think the shopping is over, I check my list and naturally we have to go back to the first half of the store for something. After that lap we wait in line for the cashier and I rock Tyler to keep him cozy. Then begins the final push: unloading the cart, that's a few dozen twists, turns, and deep knee bends. All this without waking Tyler while keeping Jace and Gracie content and quiet, as quiet as kids can be after over an hour in a store.

Our grocery store has very helpful baggers that take my groceries out and load them into the car for me. Bless them.

My trip to the gym, er...grocery store is capped off with a quiet ride home. Everybody else gets to rest. I usually cool down with some good music and a piece of chocolate that I snuck onto the conveyer when the kids weren't looking. What? Doesn't everyone reward a good work out with a tasty treat?