Life Immitating Art

Have you ever read a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book? I used to love them when I was younger. Basically, you'd begin reading and after a few pages you'd be faced with a decision - go to page 14 to ask the shopkeeper for help or go to page 43 if you want to keep wandering through the market. I loved skipping between stories and finding new adventures and going back to the beginning if I didn't like the outcome of my first adventure. I didn't realize that my life is a choose your own adventure story all it's own.

A week ago Scott and I had made the decision that he would be moving to Washington on his own and the kids and I would stay here for another year. We were confident that this was the mature and financially responsible thing to do. I wrote about it and sent it out in the Christmas letter. We had accepted it.

But then we turned a page and found out that we could go to some other page if we wanted to try a different adventure. We've spent the last few days looking at other possibilities, some that we've thought of before and some that are new ideas. I feel like I'm wired and exhausted at the same time. I don't know what the best decision is...I'm not even sure what trumps what in the decision making process. There's finances, being together as a family, schools, who knows whatever else.

So, even though the decision had been made...it's back up in the air. What I'd like is for God to clearly point out His plan for us. I have prayed on this and don't know if my desire to be with my husband is clouding my judgment or not. I don't want to miss His guidance or misunderstand it. I was thinking maybe He could put up a bill board with neon arrows pointing at it. Or I could look out the window and see an angel fulfilling duties as a messenger of God, bringing me a personal note saying "stay" or "go." I mean, I'm not asking for a burning bush or anything...just clarity.

So, if you're the praying kind...say a little prayer for us. If you're not, keep us in your thoughts. None of it can hurt and we can certainly use all the help we can. A year ago we started with Plan A for this whole relocating thing. I think we've gone through the alphabet and are back at the beginning, with subheadings and bullets.

By this time next year we should know what's going on. I'll keep you posted!