It IS Worth It

I just read this:  Domestic Diva's Vision for 2011.  I recommend it.  It was a wonderful read and a great reminder that the role of mother (or father for that matter) IS worth all that it takes out of us.

I'm one of those parents that needs to be reminded sometimes, actually frequently, that I'm actually doing something!  Luckily I am reminded often and in many ways. 

The other night when I tucked Jace into bed he asked if I noticed that he tells me he loves me every night.  Of course I do!  It's one of those things that makes my world seem right.  And he's constantly looking for his opportunity to cuddle mama.  Even when I feel like I've been rubbed raw with his annoyances all day long, that fact is not lost on me.

I've heard many times over the years how well behaved our children are.  Hearing that has always helped me realize that I am doing something for them.  By being home with them I am making a difference in their lives. 

When the kids laugh or giggle, that joy in their eyes erases any doubt that I might have about being a stay at home mother. 

It is easy to lose site of the meaning of our work, as stay-at-home mothers, amidst the chaos of daily life...laundry, dishes, diapers.  But it's just as easy to see the reminders everywhere.  You just have to chose what to look for.  Consider yourself reminded!  It is worth it!

One Word

Have you thought about one word to describe yourself?  I've been asked in interviews to use one or two words to list my best and worst qualities.  I've played a few version of the ice breaker when I needed to come up with one word to tell about me.  Most recently though, I read a couple blog posts that got be thinking about one word that can serve as my motivation throughout the upcoming year. 

Shauna and Courtney both talk about having a concept to guide us through the year rather than setting resolutions.  I haven't set New Year's resolutions in years.  Scott and I are talkers and planners.  We're constantly setting goals, discussing progress, and adapting.  So, I don't see the need to set certain goals at certain times.  Reading their posts, though, got me thinking about a motto for my year. 

In 2010 Courtney's theme word was connecting.  Under that umbrella she worked on connecting with God, family and her blog followers too!  She's chosen simplify for 2011.  I think that's a beautiful word and a wonderful theme.  I think she's going to have a great year creating space to focus on the connections she's worked on this year.  I was tempted to use that concept as my own, but I think I'm going to do something a little different.  After all, I think I'm in the process of complicating my life rather than simplifying it...maybe that'll be next year!




 
Shauna's new year will revolve around love, which I think is completely appropriate.  I don't know Shauna personally, but I feel like her posts are ones that ooze goodness and caring.  Whenever I read something on her blog I feel inspired.  I look forward to reading more about her journey this coming year to love and "doing what I can do where I can do it with all my heart and being."

So, I started by reading these two posts.  I put some consideration into it.  And I cheated...I've always bent the rules a little with these one word games.  It started way back in 4H camp when I had to come up with an adjective that started with the first letter of my name to introduce myself with.  I was at the end of the circle and wasn't sure what I was going to say until it got to me and I came up with "All of the above Annie."  I know, not one word at all.  But fitting. 

My theme for 2011 is also not one word.  But it's the carrot I want to chase this year...I want to be. 

be

It's a little word, although big on meaning.  But because it's so little I figured I might be able to get away with adding a couple others. 

be present

be intentional

And those will be the focus of my 2011.  I'm not 100% sure what that's going to look like yet.  I do know, though, that it'll involve less time on facebook and in front of the television.  I know it will involve exploring my faith more.  I know it will involve focusing on the moments that pass quickly.  Priorities will be determined and life will be lived.  That's what I know for now. 

In 2011, I will be. 
What about you? 
Will you love, connect, simplify, engage, organize, enjoy, hope, teach, learn, follow, shine, or maybe...be?

Sizing Things Up

Tyler is three years old!  I can't believe it's been three years already.  It seems like not that long ago that he was keeping me up at night, nursing and cuddling.  Well, not everything changes...he still cuddles with me every chance he gets.

So, we went to the doctor today for his check up.  I'm going to fill out some paperwork and contact the school district to see about getting an IEP and an evaluation for speech.  Other than that, though, everything looks good!  He's a healthy and happy little guy.  Well, the doctor didn't know he was happy because he cried and fought the whole time we were there - cheered up as soon as he got to put his jacket back on!

I don't know about you, but I always enjoy looking at how much my kids have grown over the year since their last check up and comparing their heights and weights to each other.  Tyler's stats are always entertaining. 

Here are pictures of Jace and Gracie when they were two years old. 

 "Why two?" you ask, since I'm telling you about Tyler's three year old check up.

Well, both Jace and Gracie were taller and heavier at two years old than Tyler is at three!

Tyler was the biggest at birth (9 lbs 8 ozs, compared to Jace's 7 lbs 12 ozs and Gracie's 8 lbs 11 ozs) but the littlest ever since.  And he's has always had very short legs compared to his very long torso.  As an example he's just getting into 2T pants but has been in 4T shirts for several months. 

Tyler: at 2 years old - 23 pounds 8 ounces, 33 inches

at 3 years old - 30 pounds, 37 inches 

Gracie: at 2 years old - 32 pounds, 32 3/4 inches

at 3 years old - 35 pounds, 41.5 inches

(Yes, you read that right...Gracie grew 9 inches in one year!)

Jace: at 2 years old - 31 pounds, 35 inches

at 3 years old - ??

at 4 years old - 41 pounds 12 ounces, 42 inches

(See?  Even the first born gets forgotten once in a while!)

So, there's the latest measurements on Tyler and how he compares with his Amazon siblings! 

I'm Not a Single Mom

I've been known to say that when Scott's not around it's like I'm a single parent.  I mean, let's be real...he's not here, right?  I'm not alone in this comparison either.  I've read about single/married spouses on blogs, heard it directly from family members and even seen it on various news shows. 

I have a few friends that are single parents and they've never called me out saying, "Hey, you're off base," so I figured there was some truth to what I was saying.  And, in fact, there probably is some truth.  After all, like I said, he's not here. 

I've begun to wonder if I haven't been called out because everyone is focused on that one similarity. 

I don't know if my ramblings are making sense...but here's where I'm trying to go with this. 

I am not a single mom.  Even when Scott's not here I have his support. 

See what I'm saying?

Last night a friend posted on facebook that she was leaving her husband after the holiday and asked for advice from single mothers.  That couple got married the week after Scott and I.  It hit me hard.  When I've heard about others getting divorced, even parents, I've been focused on the marriage part of things, and have mourned for that.  Last night, with her plea for help from single mothers, if occurred to me that she doesn't have her husband's support anymore, because she doesn't have her husband.

I have my husband.

When Scott's not here I still imagine what he might add to a conversation, how he might want to handle a situation.  I might not always (in fact, probably not even often) handle things the same way he would, but I am not alone.  I am part of a parenting team, even when half my team is floating in the ocean in a tin can. 

So, I'm not saying that I was wrong in drawing that comparison or that everyone else is either.  I am saying however, that I think our trials as military wives and parents, are different than those of single parents.  Not better or worse, simply different.  There are similarities, yes, but differences also. 

My hope for single parents out there, including my friend who is soon to be one, is that they have support similar to that I have in my teammate, my husband, whether they find it in their parents, their friends, their siblings, occasionally even their ex's.  Everyone needs that.  Even super moms.

Are You a Holiday Crier?

Do you cry during the holidays?  Do you find an emotional message that speaks directly to you around every corner?  I do.  Truth be told, I cry all year round.  But the holidays seem to be especially heartwarming.

A few years ago I was pregnant during Christmas.  Kay Jewelers commercials made me tear up!  And if I hear The Christmas Shoes...well, that was it.  I pulled over more than once to sob my way through the beautiful song and recollect myself so that I could drive safely again! 

This year I've shed a few tears too.  A few days ago I gave the gives some change for the Salvation Army bucket and the sincere, "Thank you," that the bell ringer gave us brought tears to my eyes.  And then today...the kids got me!  We already went to talk to Santa and let him know what we wanted, but since then we learned that Dada has to work on Christmas day.  So, we waited for over half an hour to see Santa again today.  We went to the mall to play at the train table at Barnes and Noble and get some Kataluma Chai (pretty much the main reasons we ever go to the mall!) and the kids wanted to put those things on hold to go visit Santa again to ask him one question. 

So, we waited and when it was our turn they ran up to Santa and started talking all at the same time.  Santa laughed, "Ho, ho, ho," and settled them down.  Then he told him he remembered they'd already come to see him and asked if they thought of something else they wanted.

"Kind of,"  Jace said.

Gracie added, "Our Dada has to work Christmas day."

Santa sighed, "Oh, I see."

"So, if it's not a problem, could you bring our presents on Christmas Eve eve?  That's Thursday night, " Jace finished.

Santa put his hand on Jace's shoulder and said, "I'd be happy to do that for your family.  It'll lighten my load for Christmas night too."

I know I'm a sucker.  I know the kids asked more so they could get their presents early than so Scott could enjoy them with them.  But the tears welled up and had a difficult time not letting the dam break!  It really was special.  Tyler even gave Santa a hug and said, "Tank you, Ho Ho," before running away. 

They're loving, wonderful children.  I hope their Christmas Eve morning is everything they hoped!

Growing Is Not the Same as Growing Healthy

I started this post as a little bit of a rant about my children's food habits.  But as I was typing away, so frustrated with them I realized, they're probably doing OK. 

Here's the situation - I've eaten according to a few different plans that go along with conventional wisdom's way of looking at food.  Then, about ten months ago I found out about the Primal Blueprint and fell in love with the common sense of it all!  So, I started eating primally and have been working on changing the habits of my whole family.  We've made progress, but have a ways to go too.  Tonight, when I first started writing this, I realized that I have some more progress to make on my own too, and not only in my grocery choices. 

The topic I was going to growl about earlier was Gracie and Tyler leaving food on their plate every night at dinner.  I don't give them very much to begin with.  My strategy is that they can always ask for more, but I'd like to throw away as little as possible.  They're also supposed to try everything on the plate and if they don't like it they don't have to eat it.  That's it.  I've always felt like my rules around the dining room table are pretty simple.  But they seem to make it so much more complicated. 

Gracie makes up her mind about whether or not she likes something before the fork hits her mouth, not that there's enough on it to actually taste anyway.  Drives me nuts!  Tonight we had some pork that she really liked the first time I made it.  Tonight she wouldn't eat it.  ARG.  Well...that's what I felt at dinner.  And that's what I felt when I started typing.  I figured I'd list the things Gracie eats on a daily basis, for meals and snacks, and you'd all confirm that I had every right to be frustrated.  But as I was typing that list I realized that the irritation I was experiencing was coming from a place of conventional wisdom. 

Here's what I mean. 

• Conventional wisdom (CW) says that we should eat every three hours, or several small meals a day.  The Primal Blueprint's (PB) way of thinking is that we eat when we're hungry. 
• CW says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that we should never skip meals.  PB allows for fasting by skipping a meal or skipping several.

There are several other differences too.  But these are the two that I'm going to start working on.  What I realized when listing our meals was that we're all eating according to those two primal points, but I'm still getting aggravated according to CW thoughts.  No longer did I feel ARG, instead I felt a little smile.  Maybe all my preaching is working. 

Here's what I mean by that...the kids know all about the PB (we even did a unit study revolving around it).  They see me skip meals or eat just a little.  They see me having primal snacks when I need a little extra something.  The food I'm offering them is, for the most part, primal and, therefore, healthy.  So, they should be allowed to eat it when and if they want to.

As I was considering this tonight, before re-starting this post, I realized that Jace already does that.  He's been putting off lunch until later and not eating much.  He's still as active as ever, just knows he's not hungry after only a three hour break.  And it's not like any of my children aren't growing.  Even Tyler's little legs are getting longer.  And when I've discussed my food frustrations with people that's often been the way they've tried to help, "They're obviously growing."  It's true, they are.  But I want them to grow healthy, with good habits and the ability to know when they're hungry and when they'd just eating to pass the time or whatever other reason.  Upon consideration, and after calming down, I think they are.  They're not just growing, but are growing healthy. 

I'm keeping the dining table rules.  Gracie will still likely not like what she doesn't think she will, at least for a little longer.  But I'm not going to be upset with that. Because I'm going to keep chipping away at the years of conventional wisdom.  Promise.

Friday Fill-In #25

I haven't participated in this in a few weeks, but I'm excited to be back in the game and see what everyone else has to say too!  Without further ado...

1.  What is the best gift you have ever received or given?  (from Jessica Lynn Writes)

Gee whiz...I don't know.  One of the ones from childhood I remember most is a set of hair styling products, brush, comb and mirror I think.  Two of my cousins and I always got the same gift in different colors from Grandma and Grandpa and that year that's what the three of us got.  My set was mint green!


2.  Do you celebrate holidays differently when your loved one is deployed/gone or do you keep tradition? (from The Albrecht Squad)

I try to keep things pretty similar.  One year he was gone for his birthday and I even made a cake for him and shared it with friends!

3.  If you celebrate Christmas, do you put an angel, star or something else on the top of your tree?

An angel.  It was a wedding gift from friends of my parents.  It's beautiful.

4.  What are your three favorite websites?

Probably have to say Mama Loves Papa, Primal Kitchen, and Smrt Lernins...there are many, though, that I get excited to see new posts on, though.  And I have to admit that I can be found on facebook, blogging, and checking email most often!  But I wanted to list fun sites!

5.On your man do you prefer… boxers, briefs or boxer briefs? Or commando? (yeah, I’m starting to get desperate for questions!)

It doesn't matter much to me...I just prefer my man.  :-)


Now go check out other answers!  Go on now!!!