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Like all of you, I'm a number of things to a number of people...Navy wife, homeschooling mama, educated woman and aspiring writer. Read my thoughts on all of it here. Please feel free to leave your thoughts on all of it too!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I Sigh

I vaguely recall noticing my mother "sounding old" when I was younger. There's no specific memory of this, just a general sense that she used to take deep, cleansing breaths from time to time and that - to me - made her sound old. I feel a little embarrassed admitting that I thought mom was old because of a possible propensity to sigh, especially because she probably wasn't much older than me when I would have been listening to her breathing.

And now, I sigh. Like many daughters do, I've become like my mother in some ways, and if she did in fact sigh a lot, this is one of the ways I'm like her. I sigh a lot. Deep, cleansing breaths.

Tyler: "Mama."

"Mama, mama, mama!"


Me: (sigh) "What, Buddy?"

(sigh) "Yes, Tyler?"

(sigh) "TYler! What?"

Gracie: "My legs hurt."

"My wrist hurts."

"I bit my tongue again and my tongue hurts!"

Me: (sigh) "I'm sorry."

(sigh) "I'm sorry."

(sigh) "I'm sorry. And stop crying."

Jace: "Can we watch cartoons?"

"Can we watch a movie?"

"Uuuhhhh! I don't want to _____!" (You can fill in the blank.)

Me: (sigh) "No."

(sigh) "No."

(sigh) "Didn't ask if you wanted to."

Scott: "Are you ready for bed?"

Me: (sigh) "Yes."

I also sigh when the washing machine or dryer beeps that its finished. I sigh when I sit down and when I get up. I sigh when trying to get the kids in bed at night and up in the morning. I sigh on Monday morning and Friday night. I really sigh all the time.

(sigh) I did, too, just now. Sighed. Can't help myself. It calms me, gives me pause when I'm frustrated. Breathing helps me relax and gives me a second of rest before embarking on the next task. With the lens that I look through now, as opposed to when I was younger, breathing is no longer a sound associated with being old. It now says to me: Focused. Motivated. Composed. At least that's what I tell myself because I'm certainly not old...just be sure to ask someone other than my kids for confirmation on that.

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