Live it. Love it (or not). Write about it.

Chicken or The Egg?

2011-12-29T16:46:00.000-08:00

We've all heard the deep, philosophical question about which came first, the chicken or the egg. If you're anything like me, you haven't put that much deep, philosophical thought into this question, though. It's one of those things that I've always figured doesn't really matter. The bottom line is, both need the other to continue being. If there are no eggs, chickens will cease to exist. If there are no chickens, eggs won't be either. I don't really care which one came first back in the day...I see a reason to take care of both.

That's right. Both chickens and eggs need to be cared for. So, which should come first? Present tense. Right now, which one should be cared for, nurtured, loved in the now?

These are the questions that have been pestering me a lot lately.

There are so many of us mothers who think the kids ought to be first and foremost. We should put our needs on the back burner and give our all to our families. It's easy to think that if we don't jump every time they whimper we're being bad parents or neglecting their needs somehow. But I propose that taking care of us is just as important.

Just like the chicken and the egg, without proper care of both mother and child, something is gonna happen and it might not be a good thing! Scrambling...roasting...something other that well adjusted, happy, healthy poultry - or people, whichever we're talking about here.

So, perhaps the real question is, where is the rooster in all this? Something to think about, huh?

Speaking only for humans, mostly because I don't know much about birds, I think it's up to the adults to keep an eye on mom and make sure she's taking care of herself. That means there is time to grocery shop on her own, get a massage, read a book without pictures, go out with friends. There is time. There is a way. Make it a priority.

Scott and I were talking with someone recently who was saying how much crap her husband gives her for trying to get away for a few hours. This is not a problem with us. And Scott's response was a great one.

"I don't necessarily like staying home with the kids, but as long as I don't have to cook...And it's important for Annie to have that time to herself, for her sanity and mine."

True dat.

Our motto (unwritten) has always been to want the best for the other and you'll end up getting the best in return. As parents, as a couple, as people - we do what we can to support the other in achieving their best. It's what we do to take care of each other. In turn, don't you think we're taking care of the kids too? (See, I didn't forget about them!) I do.

I know it can't be about me all the time, but it isn't about my eggs (turned lovely, little monsters, er...monkeys) either.

Chicken or egg?

Mother or children?

Both.

I'm Awesomer Now Than I Was Then :-)

2011-11-13T20:25:00.000-08:00

So, about a year ago I read a post on Smrt Mama's blog about identifying things about ourselves that are positive, really showing ourselves a little love and admiration. I didn't do it a year ago. I wasn't ready. I did do it, though, last March. (If you're interested, here's the link to that post.) Smrt Mama's challenge was to identify five things each about my looks/body, my mind, and that I've accomplished without qualifying them with any sort of negative comment. I did pretty well in March...but I can do better now.

So, here are the "rules" in Smrt Mama's words (she said it wonderfully, why try to restate it, right?):

Have you taken a moment to consider your many amazing qualities? If not, here’s a little activity I’d like to you do:

1. Make a list of five amazing, beautiful physical qualities about yourself. Don’t couch them in an insult (“I look good for my age” or “I have nice legs for an overweight person“). You have at least five beautiful things about you, I guarantee. If you can’t see them immediately, this is your opportunity to search for them. Find those five amazing things about your appearance and list them.

2. Make a list of five amazing things about your mind. Don’t couch them in an insult (“I’m smart for someone who never finished college“). You have at least five incredible things going on up your head. If you can’t think of them immediately, this is your chance to discover them. Find those five amazing things about your mind and list them.

3. Make a list of five amazing things you have accomplished. Don’t couch them in an insult (“I’ve accomplished a lot for someone with children“). You have accomplished at least five spectacular things in your life. If they don’t spring immediately to mind, take this time to remember them. Find those five amazing accomplishments and list them.

Now you have yours lists of amazing things about your physical appearance, your mind, and your accomplishments. What can you do with them? Here are some ideas:

Share them here in the comments.

Share them on your blog as a new post.

Share the link to this blog with others, so that they can comment with or blog their lists.

Copy and share this entire post on your blog, along with your lists.

Share this entire post or a link to this post on a favorite forum, along with your lists.

Email these prompts to friends and family and encourage them to share their lists or post them somewhere.

Print out your list and put it somewhere visible (your car, your desk, your bathroom mirror) and look at it every day.

Encourage your spouse/partner and/or children to make a list, too, and share them with each other.

Now that you know what I'm doing...here I go....

15 Amazing Things About Me

Physical Qualities

* My eyes shine when I'm excited and change color (or look different colors) depending on what color I wear. I love having hazel eyes!

* My hands are wonderful - they caress, massage, tickle, mend, and type! My engagement and wedding rings are beautiful on them. My nails are strong and clean.

*My rear is looking quite nice in a pair of jeans these days.

*I have two tattoos that mean a lot to me, representing my role as mother, our three children, and the bond I have with my sisters. They're beautiful and I enjoy having them.

*My biceps are strong and getting stronger daily. That feels and looks great!

Mind Qualities

* I love to learn new things.

* I appreciate the differences in others and try to incorporate traits that I especially enjoy into my own personality and life.

* I am considerate of others.

* I workout my brain in a variety of ways - puzzles, games, writing, music, thinking, planning. And I let my brain have down time too - sleeping and vegging on the computer or watching TV.

* I'm quietly passionate about the things that matter to me.

Accomplishments

* I homeschool our children.

* I've wanted to be an Ombudsman...and am!

* I have created a healthy home for our family.

* I take care of me, including asking for help when I need it.

* I am a loving and supportive wife.

And, that's that. It felt great to recognize some of the things that make me amazing. Now it's your turn...you don't have to share if you don't want. This is for you! But if you want to, I'd love to read how amazing you are as well.

Have a great week!

Answers, already!

2011-11-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

So, if you're not following along with my fun...here's what's gone on recently...

Two posts ago I offered four cook books up in a giveaway. All you needed to do to enter was ask a question about healthy living! I know, not too tough! Then, I announced the winners and gave a little background on me and my primal life over the past few years. And that brings us to right now, when i promise to answer the winner's questions, and maybe a couple others!

1) Was is hard to get your kids to make the paleo jump?
Yes and no. I switched very quickly (although I've wavered on and off and haven't been super strict in the past with social gatherings) but I worked the kids into it much more slowly. At each step I've gotten a little (or a lot) of resistance. But within a few days or a week, all three usually get used to the changes and stop they're moaning and groaning.

I've only recently switched them to 100% paleo/primal foods. They are allowed to make their own decisions, for the most part, when at friends' houses or parties. Gracie almost immediately gets a tummy ache from eating gluten. The boys do sometimes but not all the time. They all act like different kids completely when they get their hands on sugar, and that includes breads that turn to sugar during digestion. It's amazing to me and makes it clear to me that a little diet change could go a long way in the vast majority of those ADHD cases out there. But that's just my opinion. And, no, I don't think it would "just be easier" to let them eat crap all the time so they don't get tummy aches after pizza and birthday cake! (Sorry, no one asked about that on my blog, but it is a comment I get from people quite often!)

Last year I did a Healthy Living Unit in our homeschool. It was great to teach the kids all about healthy living. They still refer to things they learned then, like getting enough sleep or finding "poisons" on labels in the supermarket. Jace, who is eight years old, is spending the night at a friend's house tomorrow night said to me today, "I'm going to try to eat right while I'm gone. I'll read the labels if I can. I know I can always have fruit." Sometimes he makes me so proud!

2) Did you get headaches when you switched? I heard that happens...
The only time I've gotten headaches in this process is after I get hooked on Mt. Dew again and have to detox from that crap! I didn't get headaches when removing all the sugar and gluten from our foods. However, while my bowels were healing from the abuse of gluten and got used to processing clean foods, I did have some loose stools and was fatigued for a while. Sometimes it's called the low-carb flu. After a week or two it passed, though, and I felt fine.

3) What is the best thing you've noticed about yourself that isn't related to the size of your clothes since you made the switch to Paleo?
There are two huge changes that jump to mind and I'm not sure which is better, so I'll name them both! First of all, I have so much more energy. Within weeks of starting to live primally that was noticeable and has only become more so since cleaning up my food intake even more and beginning to work out regularly. And secondly, my moods are so even now. I still get stressed out. I still get anxious. I even still get angry. But the extreme changes aren't what they used to be, and that's a good thing. I'm happier. I'm joyful.

4) How do you respond to people when they say, "Oh, you're on a diet?" Do you look at paleo/primal as a diet?
It depends on the person and the situation, but ideally I explain that we all have a "diet." The word simply means what we eat. My "diet" fills me with energy. If they're open to hearing more, I gladly tell them that my life is more than what I eat and so is being primal.

I don't consider living primal a diet, though. I consider it living.

5) Which book will give me info and help me build my personal cookbook?
Honestly, any of these would be a big help with ideas to build on! They're great. As for info...Paleo Comfort Foods, Make It Paleo, and Everyday Paleo all come with incredible intros - how to set up your kitchen, staples to have on hand, etc. Paleo Comfort Foods includes a great list of websites to give you more information (all the ones that anyone who's anyone in the paleo/primal world frequent). Make It Paleo has menu ideas for special occasions. And Everyday Paleo has a full 30 day menu with shopping lists! Any of these books would be great starts for someone just getting into this life.

So, that's it for now...you might remember I mentioned sleep being part of a healthy life...and it's time for me to hit the sack! I'll be back to answer more questions soon! Feel free to leave any other questions you have in the comments and I'll tackle them too...in time!

(2nd Round of answers)

Cook Book Winners and Some Background Details...

2011-11-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

I know you've been eagerly awaiting the results of my cook book giveaway. Since you're on the edge of your seats, here are the winners...

Congratulations Jaime! Your copy of Everyday Paleo is on it's way!

Congratulations Carmel! I'll happily hand you your very own Make It Paleo soon!

Kelly, I put Paleo Comfort Foods in the mail for you today! Congratulations!

Congratulations Fawn! I hope you find lots of tasty ideas in Primal Blueprint: Quick & Easy Meals!

And a BIG thank you to everyone who asked a question! There were some wonderful questions and I'm excited to answer some! Let's start with a little background, that will actually answer some of your questions...

This is a picture of me before I heard about The Primal Blueprint, which happened in February 2010. I saw an interview with John Durant on The Colbert Report. (You can read about how I first dipped my toes in the water here, here, and here.) I've never really looked back, although I've gone back a few times! I love so many things about primal living and the benefits far outweigh the short-lived joy of a Butterfinger, so it really hasn't been that hard of a decision.

Here I am October of 2010. (Obviously it's October...we don't always dress up like this!) That's nine months since I'd first heard about this way of life. It's also after moving across the country, living with non-primal family for a month, attending a wedding, supporting my husband as he began a new position, and beginning to homeschool our kids.

This picture is me in April 2011. I was feeling pretty good and getting into a job that would use my brain again - in ways being a stay-at-home-mom just doesn't, which excited me! I was still eating almost completely primal, but the things that weren't primal, weren't good. I was "treating" the kids and I to a candy bar every week. I was drinking Mt. Dew daily, often more than one a day. And I wasn't working out in any regular way. Not formal working out, not playing (one of the rules of The Primal Blueprint).

This shot was taken in September 2011, after getting rid of the candy and pop and beginning Boot Camp Diva (about 2 months in). It was as part of Boot Camp that I learned about paleo. One of you asked what the difference between paleo and primal living is. I used to think that paleo was just the diet and primal blueprint covered all aspects of life. Now, I realize that there's not much difference at all. One difference is that paleo tends to not include dairy, but even Robb Wolf said in an interview that if dairy doesn't effect you adversely, then it can be acceptable. So, I might say that they're pretty much different sides of the same coin.

Both paleo and primal promote not only a paleolithic food plan, but also have a paleolithic perspective on moving, sleeping, exercising our brains and finding balance in our lives. Both are pretty outstanding!

So, that's my story...and I think that's all I'll stuff into this post. It's getting on the long side. I'll add some links with the answers to your questions soon!

1st Round of Answers
2nd Round of Answers

Back with a Giveaway!

2011-10-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

Two months! Holy cow! If you've followed my blog, you know I used to post almost daily...then it slowed down...then, apparently, it just about stopped! I can't believe it's been two months since I posted something on here! Wow.

OK, now that that's out of the way...I don't have any excuses for neglecting my blog. There are reasons, however. Life has a way of taking over and forcing some prioritizing. Blogging wasn't near the top of my list with everything else I was tackling. Honestly, it still isn't. So, my posts may be few and far between for a while to come. But I still think about it and desire to write, and I will, if there's time. So, check in every now and then and say hi or go through past posts. There are lots of ideas about homeschooling, encouraging posts about handling life, and simply amusing stories! And, as always, let me know your thoughts on any subject...those are ALWAYS welcome!

Today, I want to offer you all the opportunity to ask me a question, or more than one, about what healthy living means to me and our family. Each question you ask (as long as you post it as it's own comment) will give you an entry for a giveaway I've been preparing for a while. Fun, huh?

What am I giving away? Cook books!

I have four different cookbooks that have very quickly become my go-to's for ideas, holiday favorites, baking, weekday meals...everything! So, check them out and list which one you'd like your entry to be for.

Here are the four cookbooks I use daily:

If you're familiar with these books, you probably already know which one you want! If you aren't familiar with them, click on the book and check out the links. Or google the titles and read the reviews. Or ask me a question about them and get an entry in the giveaway!

So, is this all making sense? (Sometimes I think I know what I'm saying...but no one else does! Am I the only one that happens to?) Maybe it'll help clear this all up if I give some examples:

One entry for:
"I already have Everyday Paleo, but would like to know which you like better Make It Paleo or Paleo Comfort Foods? (enter me for Make It Paleo)"

One entry for:
"What recipe has your family loved most our of Everyday Paleo? (Everyday Paleo)"

One entry for:
"Does your husband eat like you do? (Quick and Easy Meals)"

One entry for:
"When do you exercise? (Primal Comfort Foods)"

Are we good now? Be sure to ask a question and tell me which cook book you'd like to be entered for. Also, if I don't know you personally, please leave an email address so I can contact you if you win!

Two more things: I have had the pleasure of meeting Sarah Fragoso (woo hoo!) and I bought the copy I'm giving away then, and she signed it! So, you not only get a great cook book, with plenty of get-started-and-stick-with-it type information about living a paleo lifestyle, but you get a signed copy! (Yes, I'm that cool!) Lastly, I will answer the four winning questions in a blog post. That may not be quite as exciting for you, but it means I'll be back to write a little more about healthy living and that makes me smile.

Bottom line:

Each comment is one entry, as long as it asks a question and specifies the cook book you'd like to be entered for.

There is no limit to the number of times you can enter.

The give away will close Sunday, October 30th at midnight PST.

The winners will be annouced sometime the following week and you'll have your cookbooks with plenty of time to prepare for Thanksgiving!

The Importance of Insignificant Events

2011-08-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

I went shopping for a swimsuit last week. I didn't find one, but I looked! While I was picking through the clearance racks a rather unhelpful saleswoman offered me a size 20 off the rack to try. I don't want to sound full of myself, I'm not. It's simply a fact that I've never been a size 20 and I'm several sizes smaller than that right now, and getting slimmer and more fit every day.

There was a time when I would have taken the size presented and done the Eeyore shuffle to the dressing room to try it on. This time, though, I simply told her that was not my size, nor did I want a style that was meant to hide me. I wanted a one piece that was flattering, yet not too provocative. Then I walked away to another rack while she offered up a size 16 or 18...I don't even remember now. I was only half listening because I was proud of myself for knowing what I wanted and speaking up about it. And, she obviously wasn't listening to me either, since whatever she offered up was still not my size!

Then a few days ago I was grocery shopping and I found myself standing in the aisle staring at the many deodorant options. I like my current brand of deodorant just fine, but I'm always looking to see what else there might me out there. I saw Degree. In my mind Degree is for athletes. I know, my mind is a pretty screwy place sometimes, but it's what I've got. So, just work with me...

I picked up the Degree and looked at it. There were two scents, one with a black dress and one with a red dress. (It's occurring to me right now how important marketing is to fickle people like me!) I pondered them both and put them back. I looked around at all the other kinds for a second and just did it - grabbed the Degree antiperspirant with the little black dress, tossed it in the cart and said, "Let's go," to the kids. And we finished our shopping without another thought about my underarms.

Yesterday, when I finally got around to putting the non-perishables away, I pulled out the Degree and smiled. I realized that I feel like an athlete for the first time. Seriously, for the first time ever. I played sports all through school. But I never felt fit. I was never as good as the rest of my team. I'm not putting myself down, it's just a fact. But now, in my 30's, I feel like an athlete. I feel fit.

I'm not at my ideal weight or size or out of the danger zone in any traditional doctor's opinion, but I feel great and look great and like life.

It's a wonderful place to be.

So, I encourage you to think about the insignificant moments in your life, to consider them and see if they might hold more meaning than meets the eye. You never know what amazing thing you might discover about yourself while you're doing something mundane!

Providing More Than the Basics

2011-08-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

If you have kids, and I do, you likely have frustrations with the things they'll eat or not eat, and I do. I have days where I'm fine with them not eating what I cook. That's fine with a hand on the hip, "whatever - go ahead and be hungry, I don't care" attitude. Or fine with my hands in the air, throwing dishes into the sink a little too roughly, grumbling load enough that I know they'll feel bad, "Why would you like anything that's healthy for you? Why do I try? I should just feed you crap. You like crap..." Yup, some days I'm fine with them not eating.

Other days I'm less-than-fine. I'll break down in tears at the dinner table because Gracie won't eat her veggies and Tyler won't eat anything at all.

Does anything change whether I'm 'fine' or admittedly not so much? No. They still only eat some of what I cook. In other areas of my life I've been able to let go of the stresses that I have no control over. It's time to do that here too.

I went to an incredibly wonderful workshop this weekend where Sarah Fragoso, the mama of three and author of Everyday Paleo, spoke with us about a lot of things! One of the many things I took from that four hours was it doesn't matter what your kids eat as long as you only offer foods that fuel their body. And why doesn't it matter? The answer is two-fold:

Because whatever they do eat will give them what they need and not irritate their guts or be a filler with no value.
More importantly, on the list of things kids need from their parents, food isn't really among the top priorities.

I've tried to tell myself the first point several times. It had helped, but not as much as hearing the second point did. And that second point may sound a bit out of the box to some of you. But really, honestly, it's so energizing to get out of the box and stretch. You should try it!

Sarah's point was not that we don't need to provide out kids with food, water, and shelter, but that it's not the most important thing if we want children that are healthy emotionally and thriving! And that's what I want! I don't want them to battle with weight issues because I don't want them to care about that number, but just to feel great and be healthy. I want them to know they're loved regardless of what happens at dinner.

What things are higher on the lists of kids' needs, above asparagus?

love, security, and stability
positive attention
the space to be who they are and express their individual selves
real, honest recognition (not just "good job" or "I'm proud of you," but actual feedback about why)
boundaries and routine
new experiences

Then "the big 3" of food, water, and shelter. And if I think really hard back to when I first learned that those are the three things a person needs - they are the three things a person needs to survive. And I want my children's lives to be so much richer than just getting by. I want them to love life openly and to experience the world with joy!

So, starting today (everything successful starts on a Monday, right?) I'll be less worried about what they eat. I'll put more thought and energy into each of them and giving them the things they need to really live fully.

And, by the way, I can't help but notice how swimmingly this fits into my goal of being present and intentional this year. Isn't it amazing how God works? Obviously this is a message I was ready to hear. Are you?

Contentment

2011-08-17T23:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it true or not, and I'm not going to take the time to research it, but I feel like I write a lot on here about the struggles of my life. I tell you how I cope with stress, children, clutter, frustration. Sometimes, though, it's wonderful to just be content.

Tonight, I'm content.

Sometimes people worry that contentment won't last. I could focus on that, but why?

Sometimes people dig deeper to find the annoyances they've overlooked. I can think of a few things right now, without even trying, but why chase the contentment away?

Thankfully, I'm not some people. I like being happy. I like breathing deeply and enjoying the positives. And it feels great to be taking some time to do that tonight.

There's no secret, except the ability to leave all the rest for a time. Tonight I worked on Ombudsman admin for a few hours and then turned to an article I'm working on. I'm happy with it and proud of it. And I realized, as I sent it to a friend to read, that I'm simply content.

So lovely.

I hope you find a moment of peaceful bliss in your life soon!

FREE Cookbook!

2011-08-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love free? Who doesn't love a cookbook?

Seriously, let's work on getting me a free cookbook!

Oh, you thought I meant you? Well, how about this...After this incredible new cookbook comes out in October, I'll buy a copy for one of you! I haven't done a give away in a while and I think this fall would be a lovely time to have one!

Go check out their website: www.makeitpaleo.com!

The top referring websites will earn a free book!

So, this is me referring....go, go...go!

Thanks for the help!

And ENJOY the healthy living and INCREDIBLE eating!

Being honest with me

2011-08-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

Remember my one word goal for 2011? If not, and you've got some time on your hands, feel free to go scan that post. The gist of it, though, is that rather than setting a making a resolution for the New Year, I'd simply set a motto to live by. My guiding concept for this year is "be."

I want to be present and focused and in everything I'm doing. I must say that eight months ago I didn't foresee the life I'd have right now. I thought I'd be "being" in a whole different way. As I took a few minutes to reflect on this the other night, what I originally thought of as failing in my goal I realized wasn't.

I hadn't reflected on how I was following my guiding principle since April. However, I did write a little blurb about my passion for writing just a few months ago. That's definitely a hat I wear (the not-yet-published-writer hat!) and when it's on I certainly want to be in that moment as well. So, more on that in a minute.

First the overall guiding concept and how I'm not failing at it. I think it's important to share this part too.

Not quite four months ago I became one of the appointment Ombudsmen for my husband's command. The short definition of this volunteer position is that I act as the first line for families who have questions, concerns, emergencies, bad days, good days - all of that! I relay information from the command to the families and back to the command. I also keep up "general maintenance" of my families - providing information about goings-on around town, patrolling social media for OPSEC issues, and keeping morale up as best I can.

I'm good at this job and I enjoy it. It wasn't on my plate in December when I considered my goals for 2011. I was thinking I'd be writing, playing with the kids, eating well - things like that. So, with my major focus of Ombudsmaning (I'm not sure that's a real verb, but I like to use it as one) I thought I was not fulfilling my ambitions for this year.

I'm so glad I took the time to consider it more. When I asked myself, "Am I being intentional? Am I being present?" the answer to both questions was a surprised, "Yes."

There are times as an Ombudsman that I have to close out my kids and focus on a phone call so that I can give that person my full attention, get the facts clear, and give them the privacy they deserve. There are some days when I have to do this a lot.

There are also days when I don't get many phone calls at all and I can play games, go for walks, read, laugh and cuddle with the kids. And when I'm doing those things, I'm fully with my children.

So, the guiding concept is a great one and one that I am still living by. (yay!) And that brings us to writing...A few months ago I talked about working on writing goals this summer - in the midst of all the other things that fill my life. And today I learned about a writing competition that I'm going to submit a story to!

The deadline is only a few weeks away, but I think that's exactly what I need. There's no time to put it on the back burner. The other catchy thing is that it's supposed to be a fiction story and I've never written fiction before, but I already have an idea that I came up with in the shower, where I do some of my best writing! So, tonight, I'm going to sign off here and type that idea up and start drafting and redrafting.

Now, that's being intentional and present! WOO HOO!

How about you? Have you reflected on your resolutions, goals, and guiding principles? Maybe you're doing better than you thought. Maybe you need to get back on the saddle. But you don't know unless you can be honest, be present and intentional, and just be!

Saved by Silence

2011-08-04T02:06:00.000-07:00

I remember moaning when Mom wanted to turn the radio off in the car when she was taxiing me from one place to another. Now, I'm the mom. And sometimes I turn the radio off. Sometimes I leave the television off. Sometimes I go in my room, shut my door and pray that my kids will give me time to rest in silence, since I can't turn them off. It's good for all of us. I promise you that.

Today the kids were starving. Every few minutes (it was probably more like every half hour, but seemed more often) someone wanted something more to eat. Then another one would get word that someone had been allowed to eat, so they'd ask for more. And no one could get anything themselves, so I was up and down helping my growing children rather than being able to focus on the projects I was working on. One such time went something like this:

Gracie: "Mama can I have a snack?"
Mama: "Didn't you just get done eating?"
Gracie: "No. We ate lunch almost an hour ago. And I'm hungry."
Mama: (sigh) "Fine. Have a piece of fruit."

Fridge opens. Fridge shuts. Noises come from kitchen.

Gracie: "Mama, I can't get the raspberries open."
Mama: "K, just a minute."

Finish typing a sentence. Put computer down. Get off couch. Go to kitchen. Struggle with obnoxious raspberry container. Go back to living room. Re-read what I wrote. Noises in kitchen.

Gracie: "Mama? Can I have blueberries too?"
Mama: "That's fine. Go ahead."

Fridge opens. Fridge closes. Noises.

Gracie: "I can't get the blueberries open."

Put computer back down. Go back to kitchen. Open blueberries. Back to living room.

*****time passes****

Jace: (running down the hallway) "Gracie had berries!? Can I have berries?"
Mama: "Yes. Please. Go ahead."
Jace: "Awesome!"

Fridge opens and shuts. Noises.

Jace to Gracie: "How'd you get these open?"
Gracie to Jace: "Mama did it."
Gracie to Mama: "Mama, Jace can't open the berry containers either."
Jace to Mama: "Yeah, can you help me?"
Mama: "Yes, just a minute."

Finish typing another sentence. Put computer down. Get up. Go out. Open containers. Almost make it back to couch.

Tyler: (running down hallway) "Can I have a snack?"

Likely, you get the idea. So, in the midst of this eating frenzy I was trying to get some things done. I was tired to begin with and the starting and stopping and re-reading and whatnot did not help. So, at some point I decided I needed a nap.

I was irritated with the kids for nothing more than being kids. That's never a good thing. I was disappointed with myself for being irritated. I needed a time out.

Can I tell you how thankful I am that my irritating and hungry kids are wonderful enough to be quiet for 45 minutes while I close the door on them and curl up in my quiet bed? Very thankful.

Whether it's quiet time in the car or in the home, I am a firm believer that a mother's sanity is saved by silence every now and then. What do you think? How do you preserve your sanity?

My Life in Acronyms

2011-07-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Every profession has shorthand of one sort or another. Some are quite easily recognized, like Rx. Others leave you puzzling for just a little bit, until that light bulb goes off! Well, my professions have several acronyms that I didn't used to know or that used to mean something else to me. I have to admit that I feel a little sense of pride when I recognize a new one, or better yet...use it in a sentence!

My new role as Ombudsman has made me even more familiar with Navy terms that I've been picking up over the past 14 years. The most obvious example is OPSEC, which stands for Operational Security and means keeping information out of the hands of people who would use it to harm us. It's a term that everyone in the military knows and one of the first ones they teach those of that become part of their inner circle of trust. Military wives, parents, anyone a soldier or sailor gives information to has to learn the importance of not giving that information to others. So, it's not new to me. But I'm much more intimately aware of the ins and outs of it now that I'm stalking people (not really, but that's what they say about me on the boat!) on Facebook (FB) and politely requesting that they don't even tiptoe into grey areas. It's a big part of my life now!

A bigger part of my life, although not as time consuming, is our primal blueprint way of life. For over a year now we've been becoming more and more clean and healthy in our eating habits. Moving from a SAD way of eating (Standard American Diet) means getting rid of gluten, most sugar, a lot of dairy, and even legumes. Legumes might not seem like such a big deal to some of you, but my husband once wooed me by telling me we went together like peanut butter and chocolate. Peanuts are a legume. And PB now stands for Primal Blueprint. Pretty tricky, isn't it.

And totally cool!

And, I've added a new element to my already busy life. I've been wanting to find a way to workout that works in that already busy life and I finally have. I've joined Boot Camp Divas - BCD to those in the know! I've only been to two classes, but I think it's going to be a great thing for me! The atmosphere is not so supportive and uplifting. I'm ready and willing to get to work and add even more healthy habits to our lives. So, in fact, I think it's going to be a great thing for all of us.

So, to sum it up...I volunteered to track OPSEC on FB. We've traded in the SAD for PB by giving up PB. And joining BCD could turn me into OHM. (That's one hot mama!)

Playground Parenting

2011-07-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

What kind of playground parent are you? Do you stick your nose in a book or gab on your phone while your kids run amok? Do you throw out the blanket, arrange the snacks, and wave at Little Johnny while he runs up the steps and zooms down the slide over and over again? Do you stay within an arms reach wherever your precious kiddo goes, just in case he needs you?

Gosh, I make all those sound not so pleasant. In reality, though, they're all fine ways to parent - maybe. I think there are lots of ways to watch your children and still be a good parent. The key is not going overboard and not judging the rest of us out loud.

I've done all that, and probably all of it in the last week! But the thing that's gotten under my skin is the parent, and there's at least one at every playground, who felt the need to comment on what I was doing. And that commented intentionally loud enough so that I'd over hear.

"Doesn't it bother you when people hop on their phone as soon as they get to the park? Huf."

Maybe she wasn't talking about about me, but I was on my phone ten feet away when she said it. And I knew where all my kids were, and none of them were beating on her kid, that she was following so closely that if he'd turned around he would have run into her!

"I think that boy wants help but (looking around) his mom doesn't seem to be around."

Jace was studying a big round log and two longer narrower limbs, trying to figure out what to do with them that would be totally cool. And I wasn't anywhere around. I was sitting on my blanket, talking to some other mom's and waving at Tyler who was yelling from the top of his pirate ship and at Gracie who wanted me to see how high she had climbed. Jace hadn't asked for help and I didn't offer. Instead I watched him too. And he tried a few different things and finally managed to make himself a nice little ramp with which he rolled another log up and which created some wonderful noise, including his excited exclamation of, "Mama! Come see what I made!" I did.

And on the way over I heard, "I can't believe she's letting him play like that. It could be dangerous." Puh-lease. I didn't say it to her, but I wanted to. Instead I praised Jace's creativity and gave him some more challenges to try to figure out with the dangerous pieced of wood, loud enough so she could hear of course.

I question quite frequently why we can't just all get along! Why can't we simply appreciate that I parent my way and you parent yours. Sometimes I want to say to someone, "Let your toddler explore. So what if she eats a little dirt?" or "I don't think your nine year old should be in the soft play area." But I don't. Unless there's a mean kid or an altercation of some sort I try to let parents be parents in their own way. That toddler will toddle away at some point and the only ones really bothered by the too-big kid on the playground are my too-big kids that I won't let on there. No biggie. It's not the last thing that will irk them about my parenting!

So, how do you parent in public, really? Do you have rules of thumb that you play by while your kids are playing?

Bad Hair Day

2011-06-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning when I looked in the mirror I realized I was having a bad hair day - with my eye brows!

"What!" you exclaim? I know. I had a similar reaction.

It's not bad enough that I have the random hair growing out of my breast every so often (probably more than you cared to know, but it's true!) now I have to worry about having radically unruly brows?

On top of that when I went to put toothpaste on my brush I realized how little is left in the tube. Years ago I would have tossed that tube into the garbage, and I did consider that yesterday, but now that I pay the bills (which reminds me - I need to do that today) I feel like every penny counts. So, even though I brought up another tube from the stock pile, I used that one again last night and this morning and I'm sure I can get a few more brushings out of it...all for the sake of feeling like I'm saving money. Or because the poor children in India don't have toothpaste so I should waste mine.

Did your parents ever use that one on you? Mine never did involving toothpaste, that I remember, but when it came to cleaning our plates I remember hearing it a lot. So, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on my kids. Honestly, I don't think I am hard on them. I don't even make them eat everything on their plates, even though I'm sure there are still starving children. I do, however, get annoyed and frustrated at how much they "don't like." But they're not fading away, so it's their loss and someday they'll have kids that frustrate them.

It's the circle of life. Just like the fact that hair starts to grow from the ears of old men and fall out of their heads. Even though it's not as widely talked about, I'm guessing that plucking random strands from formerly hairless spots is common place in women as we age too.

That makes me sound old, to say I'm aging, but I'm really a stunningly young 33! Not stunning in the "oh, my goodness, isn't she stunning?!" kind of way but stunning in the "you're only 33? I'm stunned." way. And while we're on the topic of my looks - I'm not pregnant. A lady in a store suggested as much a few weeks ago. In fact is was the day after someone pointed out that I wasn't the old Ombudsman. He knew this fact because, "She was skinny, right?"

No, I didn't slap him. I just smiled and said, "Nope, I'm not her. And yes. She is skinny." There were actually two skinny Ombudsmen last patrol. For the record, I'm not either one.

And while we're putting things on the record, I tamed my brows yesterday and this morning woke up with lovely brows and crazy hair. Now, that's the way it should be.

Reality Vs. Fantasy

2011-06-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

The sky's the limit...right? We can be whatever we want to be. Isn't this the message we give our kids? One of my dreams is to be a published writer. It's one of the reasons I started this blog. A couple years ago I took a course to finesse my style and learn how to submit my work. I got great feedback and improved a lot. Most importantly, I really enjoyed it! And, although I haven't been published yet, it's still a dream of mine. A maybe someday sort of thing.

Right now, though, there's reality. Sure I could be working an article right now rather than posting on here. but the reality is that I'm tired. I've got a lot on my plate and all of it is important to me. And more important than that "being a writer" dream.

One of the great things about my busy reality, though, is that I get the opportunity to write in my life. And I'm getting compliments about it. I haven't thought a ton about submitting works in a several months. But with the positive feedback that I'm getting, and completely unsolicited may I add, I'm thinking about my dream again. And it feels great to dream!

So, a goal of mine for this summer is to figure out a way to write more for my publishing fantasy. I'm not going to go so far as to make a goal of actually submitting or anything crazy like that! But I do want to get reorganized and focused and maybe put an hour a week or something into developing ideas and writing drafts. I've got a ton of ideas, so it'll be wonderful to spit them out on paper.

I'll try to keep you posted, but please check in with me and see how I'm doing with bringing my dreams to life. I'd love to hear how you're living a dream or working toward one too. Do share...

Fantasizing about Fun Fashion!

2011-06-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I started wondering about my fashion sense. I wondered what star I might pattern myself after or at least be inspired by. I still haven't found that answer, but I have been drawn to some styles lately. So, that's a start, right?

Then yesterday I saw some incredible dresses in a link a friend posted on Facebook. The cocktail dresses featured were stunning and fun and full of life! I got excited! And I decided to put together a little list of things I like to share with all of you...if you're interested.

Orange Tunic (http://www.wallis.co.uk/)
I don't love the beads, but I do enjoy the rest of it!

Orange Day Dress (http://www.ballyhoovintage.com/)
OK, now you think I only like orange, right? I do enjoy the brightness, but I'm a fan of many colors, actually.

Black Floral Maxi (Sakkas Dresses)
Doesn't this just look so comfy and easy?

Green Shirt Dress (www.outoftheclosetclosing.com.au)

I LOVE shirt dresses!

Purple Ruffle Shirt with Bow (www.mondiki.com)
Sorry about the blurriness, the original was smaller but I wanted to show off the cute bow!

Flowy Flowery Shirt (http://www.jjs2.com/)
I like the pink hat better than the blue one, but I enjoy the shirt most of all!

OK, I think that's enough for now. I really enjoyed looking at all the fashions out there and found these and many others that I like! Thanks for letting me share with you!

Now, go have some fun fantasizing about your your fashion finds...even if you can't find them in your own closet.
Yet.

Cakes

2011-06-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

So, I mentioned cakes in my last post and thought you might like to see some of the cakes I've made.

(Or maybe I just want to show them off!)

Jace's 3rd birthday - trucks
(FYI - the oreo tires didn't actually touch the ground - Jace noticed!)

Gracie's 1st birthday - cupcakes

Jace's 4th birthday - monkey

Gracie's 2nd birthday - butterfly

Jace's 5th birthday - whale shark (with model)
(FYI - whale sharks can range in color, so my green version was acceptable.)

Gracie's 3rd birthday - purse

Tyler's 1/2 birthday - hay
(OK, so it was supposed to look like hay but Jace pointed out that it really more closely resembled dung.)

For Jace's 6th, Gracie's 4th, and Tyler's 1 1/2 we were traveling, visiting family, so I didn't make the cakes.

Jace's 7th birthday - archeological dig

Gracie's 5th birthday was decorate your own cupcakes, no pictures. Tyler's 2 1/2 birthday cookie cake (great idea, by the way) wasn't made by me either.

Jace's 8th birthday - tank

Gracie's 6th birthday - fashion runway

So, that's it! Tyler's 3 1/2 is coming up and he wants a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse cake - I'm not sure how I'm going to pull that off, but we'll see what I can come up with.

Slow Down

2011-06-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

I was on the phone with one of my mothers-in-law today and she said, "Maybe you should slow down." This was after I got the kids out at the mall and went into Barnes and Noble to pick up some books Jace had put on hold yesterday. We had gotten to the counter and couldn't find the gift card he'd gotten for his birthday. So, I'd taken the kids back to the van, back home and, after searching the house for a few minutes, had found the card in Jace's wallet. So, "Maybe you should slow down," wasn't completely off base. However, had she been in front of me I would have laughed in her face. Since we were on the phone I laughed in her ear instead!

I told her I don't have time to slow down. I really feel like that right now. There are dentist appointments, doctor's appointments, Ombudsman duties, mom duties, wife duties...lots of hurrying up to sit and wait. I'm answering phone calls and emails while making cakes. I'm finding time to mow the lawn, make meals, read books, and play games. We're finishing up our homeschool year and making plans for the summer. It's busy. It's exhausting. It's good.

Really, it is.

I don't feel overwhelmed. Sure, I have my moments, but mostly I feel content. But, my mother-in-law is right. I should slow down from time to time. And not just when I'm tapping my foot waiting to cash out at the grocery store.

I think tomorrow we're going to go for a walk, pack a picnic, and enjoy the easy life. And maybe I'll teach the kids a little Simon and Garfunkel...

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobblestones.
Looking for fun and feeling groovy.

My Back Itches

2011-05-31T20:19:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate when you've got an itch in between your shoulder blades and you can't get it? Don't you love when you're honey notices you squirming and asks, "Can I help you with something?"

Do you get frustrated when the recycling is piling up and the garbage is overflowing and you notice it but are just so busy with life that you don't take it out? Don't you love when you've finally finished everything else and you're just about to flop down on the couch for the night and you remember them and head to the kitchen only to see they've been taken out by your love?

Doesn't it drive you up a wall when you're washing a quick load of dishes while stirring dinner on the stove and one of your kids comes up behind you whining, "Mama...can you (fill in the blank)?" And don't you love it when you're gritting your teeth before growling, "What?" at that innocent babe and you hear, "Come here. Let Dada help you," from the other room?

Yeah, me too.

Sometimes, even I take those moments for granted. But I really try to appreciate single moments, both with my kids and my husband. I started this practice when I was pregnant with Jace and realized that it was the last time I'd ever be pregnant for the first time. It was the only time I'd ever be pregnant without another child running around taking at least some of my attention away from the growing delight in my body. I continued in on long, seemingly sleepless nights when he'd want to play or nurse or just look at me. I'd look back and tell him stories, hopes, dreams, special requests (like "go to sleep now, k?") and I'd try hard not to get frustrated. I'd remind myself that this time will pass quickly and these moments will be gone. Jace just turned eight years old - there are still times moments I take mental snapshots of and I'm so grateful that I have albums in my head from back then too.

And at some point, not sure when exactly, I realized that Scott shouldn't be taken for granted either. He's not perfect but he's pretty darned incredible. We talk pretty frequently about how lucky we are to treat each other the way we do. And what I think it really comes down to the little things. Little things like scratching an itch, taking out the trash without being asked, or calling the kids when they're becoming a nuisance.

The fact that we take notice of the little things we do for each other makes a world of difference in the warmth that radiates through our marriage. It also helps carry that warmth to the depths of the ocean when he leaves me for his job. And it helps me feel his love when I'm here alone.

Like now.

When I have an itch.

At first I'm totally like, "Man, I can't get...that...little...itch....ug..."

But then I hear his voice. "Can I help you with something?" And I smile.

I'm smiling now. It truly is the little things.

Decision Making and A Decision Made

2011-05-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I think (I can't keep track these days!), I found out about a job opening that I wasn't looking for. A few months back I found out that the job existed, but someone had it. Daphne has had this position for somewhere around 14 years. But I love the sound of her job and told Scott it might be something I could do someday. And then Daphne called me while I was shopping at Target and asked me if I knew she was retiring. I did know that, but I have a few unpaid jobs already and hadn't considered applying for her job.

But she called me. She wanted me to know that my degree and personality would be ideal for this position, her position. I told her I'd think about it, seriously, and went back to shopping.

That night I started thinking and did so for the next few weeks. Scott and I talked about it. I spoke with Daphne about what her job really entailed. I discussed it with many other people, whose opinions I respect.

I even posted on Facebook! Well, I didn't mention what the decision was, but I asked my friends how they make decisions...rock, paper, scissors or a pros/cons list? I posted about how I was asking God to plant that elusive neon sign in my yard or hit me with a God stick. That brought on a little laughter and a lot of confusion. My poor mother became very concerned about my little sister and I, I think. Mary is the one who first told me of God sticks. She read it on another blog. But the basic idea is that sometimes we need to be struck with whats wanted from us or for us. Often we try to duck, but God will keep swinging until it's crystal clear to us. Now, whether we choose to go that direction is our own deal, but God tries to let us know what He wants for us. My version of Mary's God sticks is the neon sign. Wouldn't it be nice if God planted a sign in our yards that blinked in the night so brightly that we couldn't help but notice the path we're supposed to take? I think so.

So, of course, I prayed, hoping God would strike me, alert me, something. Instead, I think He whispered. At first I was a little like, "Hello! How about a little help here?" But, in the end, I appreciated His faith in me.

It was nice to realize every one's faith in me - especially Scott's. I know he loves me. I know he appreciates me. But he likes to pick on me about having a degree and staying at home or ask me when I'm going to get a real job that actually pays money. It's in good humor, mostly, but in the face of being able to apply for a job that actually pays real money (and more than either one of us realized I could be making) I expected him to jump straight to, "What are you waiting for? Go brush up that resume!" He didn't though.

One night when we were talking about it for the hundredth time I mentioned that I was leaning toward not applying but, upon realizing how much I could be making, felt like maybe I should be contributing more to us.

"I'm perfectly happy with how much you contribute to our family and the life we have," he said.

I still want to cry thinking about that. That was an incredible answer. He definitely gets bonus points for that! Maybe it was just reverse psychology that he'll never admit to, but I chose to believe it was an honest and heartfelt response.

And, in the end, if it was reverse psychology it backfired! In the end, through all my discussions, reading, thinking, praying...after all of it, I decided not to apply for this job that might be an ideal position for me. I'm really great with that decision. Maybe some day the possibly ideal position might become mine, but for now I have a full and fulfilling life with an incredible husband and three mostly delightful children. I homeschool and I'm loving my busy, busy role as Ombudsman.

So, in the end, whatever process you use to make a decision, I think if you make it for the right reasons, whatever they are to you, and with the support of those who matter...contentment is the path you'll find yourself following.

This and That

2011-05-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday. I like Wednesday. Just thought you should know that. I hope your Wednesday has been a great one. Ours has been pretty darn good, even though Jace will tell you it was a boring day. After all, the highlight of his day was the pizza and Pepsi he got to have at Costco. Everything else is unworthy of "good day" status in his eyes.

In my opinion, though, things are good. Not only did the kids get lunch out at Costco, but I got Kataluma chai. MMMMMMM. I think I want that as part of my last meal, should I ever find myself on death row or some other place where I can choose my last meal. And, we got lots of errands run, paperwork filled out, groceries purchased and mostly put away. I'm chalking that up as success.

(I don't know if I've mentioned it on here before, but whenever I write the word success I think of Full House. Back in the day there was an episode where Danny helped Michelle remember how to spell it by telling her, "double the c and double the s and you'll have twice the success." And now you know how my random brain works!)

On top of all that other stuff, I'm sitting outside in the sun on a 60 something degree day. I don't care what Jace tells you. Today is a good day.

And how about the rest of our week. Well, it hasn't been bad. I've gotten to do a little Ombudsman stuff, which I like. I've gotten to visit with a friend or two, which is always nice. Jace started learning multiplication and Gracie is working at figuring out carrying in addition. Jace is excited about multiplication. On the first day of first grade his teacher asked the students to finish the sentence, "In first grade I want to learn _____." Jace filled his blank with "to multiply." He's been mighty patient! Gracie hasn't been so eager to learn anything in math, though she's caught on to everything well. She's struggling a little with carrying, but today was the first day, so I have no doubt she'll grasp it soon enough.

We're still working away at The Amazing Race - just finished India. Every one's writing is improving. Jace has almost learned every letter in cursive. Gracie's print is improving. Outside of school they're still enjoying gymnastics and swim lessons. Funny story from yesterday's swim lesson...while Gracie, Tyler and I were waiting for Jace a gentleman walked by in swim trunks that were slightly fitted. Gracie said, "Some guys look like they're in their underwear."

I nodded. "Yes, some do."

Gracie noticed, "Some guys look like they're in women's underwear."

Nodded again. "Yes, some do."

I think I'll leave you with that! Tyler just came and asked what's for dinner and that brings the time to my attention...time to start dinner! Hope your week's a good one!

Facts About Me

2011-04-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Every so often I feel the need to let you know more than you want to know about me. Today's one of those days. I know you're excited...

1. I put the toilet paper over because one of my mothers-in-law does and told either told me once that was how it was done or possibly trained my mother in that way when my mom worked for her as a cleaner at the school. Either way, that's how it's done at our house.

2. I don't squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or roll up the end. I squeeze for a while, then push it toward the tip, and fold the end up.

3. I wear jeans somewhere between a size 14 and 20 depending on where I try them on. What's up with that?

4. I really do try to take to learn something from everyone I know (either something to incorporate into my personality or something I know I don't want to imitate). Thanks Mr G for that advice.

5. I also do really try to appreciate each stage and phase my children go through. Even if I don't enjoy it, I try to understand it's place in their growth and maturity. And, honestly, every age we've been to this point has had things I like and don't like about it.

6. Spring is my favorite season.

7. I treat my kids differently. They're different. I'm different. I try to treat them all fairly, but fair does not mean exactly equal. That's impractical.

8. I used to consider myself a bit impractical, and some might say I'm still a dreamer, but I think I've grown a lot in my rational thinking over the years. I'm still on optimist, but I try to be a realistic one.

9. I love green. It's always been one of my favorite colors and there's nothing like spring in Washington to see why!

10. I still love my blog and still have tons of ideas for posts, but there are also more things going on in my life now. So, check in every so often, but don't be disappointed if I go a few days at a time without writing anything. I'll try to write at least once a week!

Visit At Your Own Risk

2011-04-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

I love having people come see us. We do live several thousand miles from our family and it's a joy when they spend hours on a plane just to visit us. However, lately whenever someone is here I've gotten quite busy!

Days before my little sister and her son flew in from Germany (via California and a side vacation to Hawaii - nice, huh?) our FRG (Family Readiness Group) President stepped down. I had already decided to put my name in for an official volunteer position with the command, in fact I may have already done it even. The last month or so is a blur - so I'm not really sure!

So, while I was "visiting" with them I was attending meetings to turnover the FRG position so I could step up from the Vice President role. It's been a busy month with all that being the standing FRG President has meant. And, on Wednesday, I found out that I'd been chosen as one of two new Ombudsmen for our crew - that's the official volunteer position I mentioned.

On Tuesday night Scott's parents flew in to visit and they're here for all the meetings I'm attending and all the time I'm putting into kicking off my appointment as Ombudsman well.

So, come visit at your own risk! We'd love to see you, but by "we" I might mean the kids and Scott, if he's around. If not, could you babysit?

My Style

2011-04-09T19:57:00.000-07:00

Recently I asked you for help to define my style and maybe come up with a celebrity or two that I look to for fashion inspiration. I promised pictures of the "professional looks" I put together for my training this week. Here's what I came up with:

Pinstriped black slacks, tangerine colored shirt with braided neck, and sequined grey sweater.

Gracie took this one. Don't you love her artistic eye? This is a pair of brown cropped pants, a boat neck navy blue shirt with a sleeveless grey-plum extreme V sweater and a light blue sweater. Plus I love these shoes - they have little bows on them!

A drop waist flowered skirt (that I got TONS of compliments on), a v-neck Hanes T-shirt, and an orange sweater.

You'll notice I forgot to take a picture in this last outfit. But I figured the key thing for you to see was the clothes, not necessarily me. Flower scoop neck shirt with pink sweater. I wore jeans today and sandals. Casual Saturday at training!

So, what do you think? Am I a hopeless case or a thirty-something with a chance?

Joining In!

2011-04-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

Today I'm all about joining in! First Small Style and now The Ultimate Blog Party! Woo hoo!

I know, I know...I'm beyond even being fashionably late. It's almost the last day of this fabulous blog hop. I have a lot of excuses, but you don't want to hear them all. I'm sure you'd much rather hear about my blog and what I post about when I actually do post!

Here I am with my wonderful husband. We've been married for almost eleven years and have three children. We were high school sweethearts. He is in the Navy - after ten years as an enlisted sailor he got picked up for a program that allowed him to become an officer. With that step, we've moved twice in the last few years.

Originally from Western New York, we've now also lived in Washington state, Southern Georgia, and are back in Washington for now. Who knows where the Navy will send us next...time will tell.

I have a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and am now a stay at home homeschooling mom. This is our first year homeschooling, but I love it! The kids mostly like it. So, we'll stick with it for now until something else changes our current path.

That's the nutshell version, ladies and gents! And this blog covers it all! You'll find tabs at the top for homeschooling, our Navy life, and living healthy. The first two are self explanatory. The healthy living tab will explain more about the way we try to eat, exercise, and enjoy life healthfully!

I'm sorry I'm so late in my blog party entry and that it's not all that exciting! However, I do hope you stick around and enjoy some of the posts I've put more energy into. I enjoy sharing about our lives, the good and the frustrating. I hope to inspire some, leave others not feeling so alone, and keep in touch with friends and family here. I welcome comments, thoughts, ideas, suggestions.

Thanks for coming by! I promise to visit your blogs over the next few weeks if you leave me a comment. And I can't wait to do it! See you soon!

(not so) Small Style

2011-04-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

This week I'm linking up with Mama Loves Papa and participating in her series on our children's style! I've been meaning to do it for a while, along with a lot of other things, but I finally got pictures uploaded and today's the day!

So, without further ado...

Gracie

Red hoodie - Old Navy, Denim skirt and sneaker - Target, Leggings - Walmart

This picture was taken at the end of a hike, so Gracie's looking a little tired. I love that it shows so much of her personality, though. You'll notice the long hair in a high pony tail and the perfectly folded lace-trimmed socks. Gracie's not yet 6 years old, but tall and beautiful and fully in charge of her clothing choices! Although Scott and I reserve the right to veto anything she puts on!

Jace, Gracie, and Tyler from earlier on the same hike.

All our kids are actually able to wear what they want, within reason. Jace has an assortment of camo. I'm serious - he can blend with every environment from water to sand to snow! And Tyler is a jeans kind of boy and love his Cars hat like nothing else!

So those are my incredible kids! I'll try to be a regular in the world of Small Style and hopefully can highlight all the monkeys over time!

Don't forget to check out the other links at Mama Loves Papa and see the cuteness of all our kids!

April Update on 2011 Motto: be

2011-04-03T14:29:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it's April? Every year I find myself saying more and more often how quickly the months pass. I guess that's probably part of growing up and getting older. But I don't even realize half the time that I am growing up and getting older. Things sneak up on me. If it weren't for the constant reminder that Jace will be eight years old this spring I would be quite shocked by that fact too! I guess time really does fly!

The focus should be, I guess, on what I'm doing with my time, then, right? I mean I can't slow it down. Even though sometimes I'd really like to. I imagine a big ol' hand break that I force back with every ounce of my energy just so I can sit for a second and catch my breath. But that's not going to happen. So, how do I catch my breath? How do I spend my time? Am I living in the spirit of my 2011 motto?

(If you don't want to go back and read that post, here's the short version...rather than make a resolution or set a goal for 2011 I gave myself a word to keep in mind throughout the year. My word is be. I added that I'd specifically like to be intentional and be present.)

I'd like to say that I am. I'm not perfectly being anything. (So thank goodness that wasn't what I wanted to live up to!) But I am being.

I'm being a wife. Scott and I have had some great conversations, enjoyed time together, and are planning a night away later this month.

I'm being a mother. I've taken the kids to the movies and watched some at home with them, without my computer in my lap. (This is key to my being present and intentional. I tend to half pay attention while clicking away on the keyboard. I don't want to do that, so I'm not!) We've done puzzles, read books, gone for walks, cooked together. I've taken time with each of them to do something small one-on-one.

I'm being a friend. I've gathered friends for game night and arranged meetings with others. This is an area that I let slide more than I'd like to admit, but I'm working on improving and feel like progress is being made.

I'm being several other things too. There's never a lack of places to be in, is there? I'm enjoying things, though. I'm enjoying focusing on one task at a time. I like homeschooling with the TV off. I like typing this blog while Tyler's napping and the other two are outside playing. It's not always being intentional and present in only what I'm doing now, but I feel great about it when I'm able to do it. I feel productive and content.

How are you all doing in your 2011? Did you make resolutions? Mottos? Goals? Have you revisited them? I hope everyone's April is off to a wonderful start and that you're all able to be what you want to be.

Giveaway Winner!!!

2011-04-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Random.org we've got a winner!

Congratulations Allison C!!!

Thanks for entering everyone! I've already got ideas for the next one. Stay tuned. Have a great weekend!

Style - What's Mine?

2011-03-31T15:09:00.000-07:00

Some of you knew me back in the day. What day? The day when I had a style of my own. I wore long floral dresses and shirts made from dresses bought second hand or given to me by my grandmother. And I had this one dress that I loved that was crushed velvet and looked like a colorful oil spill! Awesome! And that wasn't my only piece of crushed velvet. I liked bright colors, older styles, and textured fabrics. That was then.

Now? Well, now I'm wearing over sized men's sweats with "Navy" written down the leg and a grey sweater.

Over the last dozen years I've gone through a lot of size changes (been down to a 10 and up to an 18) and job changes. You can probably imagine that what I wore as an undergrad was slightly different than my wardrobe as a therapist. And, for more than the last five years I've been a stay at home mom. I've tried to keep a little sass in my wardrobe, but sometimes, like when I actually have someplace fun to go, I realize that I'm missing it.

Earlier this week Mama Loves Papa posted a response to a reader question about her celebrity style icon, if she had one. She posed the same question to me. I was stumped. Who do you think?

I like flowy items and structure. I love open necks, especially boat necks. Cowl necks are fun too! I love maxi dresses and flat front, straight leg pants. I'm a fan of rich colors like teal, purple, orange and blue - and yes, I combine them. Brown is my favorite neutral. Does that help at all? Can you name me a celebrity mentor to study up on style?

The last complete outfit I bought for myself.

Well, if you still need a little help...I'm going shopping this weekend. I have a class this coming week that requires me to dress professionally. My sweats aren't going to cut it! I do have a few items that will work, but I can't wear them for four days straight. So, when I have four professional outfits put together I'll take pictures and post them. I know....exciting! Right?

But, in the meantime...throw some names my way of actresses and singers who wear relaxed clothing with a touch of sex appeal and a whole lot of comfort!

Homeschooling The Amazing Race

2011-03-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last report on Gebel Family Homeschool. So, I figured today would be a good day to update everyone on what we've been up to.

During those few very busy weeks, with visitors and life happening, our homeschooling continued but not necessarily five days a week. At least not formally. I'm becoming more and more of a believer in the unschooling principle that learning will take place regardless of how you teach.

With that said, we did start a fun new way of organizing our studies before everything happened. We're using The Amazing Race as the platform for history, geography, and cultural studies. We enjoyed watching the show together in the past anyway. Like any good homeschooler...I found a way to turn something we enjoy into school! (Go Gebel Monkeys!)

So, what are we doing with it? Well, we watch the show and I make a list of questions that I have or the kids ask during it and a list of activities we could do that might be similar to the challenges the teams take part in during the episode. After it's over we track their travels on the globe. The next the day we head to the library and get books on the country we just saw. We read about it's history, famous people from there, food eaten, crafts and/or inventions, traditions, holidays, current events...whatever we can find to learn about. We usually split the reading up over a few days and break it up with activities that we thought of watching the show or that we learned about during our reading. I even found a website that plays national anthems - fun times!

So far we've followed the teams from California to Australia to Japan to China. We've got two episodes taped and ready to go! I'm really enjoying watching the kids grasp on to different things that excite them about each place. Hopefully they're enjoying what they're learning too!

So, all in all, it's going well. I'm planning on focusing on art, music, and science when we're all done following The Amazing Race. Our plan is for a year round schooling, so later this spring and into summer is when we'll be moving to these more creative subjects...just in time to get outside! Woo hoo!

And that's what we've been doing. I'll try to take more pictures soon. I've not been feeling like a photographer lately, but I'll see what I can do! I hope your homeschools (if you have them) are running smoothly and that you're having tons of fun learning with your kids!

*****Don't forget about my 50 Followers Giveaway!*****

To and Fro

2011-03-28T15:59:00.000-07:00

The other day I was driving down the road we live off of. It's a road I drive almost daily. And, like many roads in Washington, the speed limit frequently changes for reasons I don't necessarily understand.

So, there I was driving down the road. I'd just noticed that I was going a little over the speed limit as I coasted down a hill and around a curve and directly into the radar gun of an unmarked police car.

I pulled off the road, told the kids to keep their comments to themselves and waited for the officer to come to my window. He did, informed me that the speed limit was actually even less that I thought it was and that I'd be getting a ticket for 15 miles per hour over the posted speed. Lovely. Lov-i-ly.

The kids got quite a kick out of having a police officer so close. They liked the state trooper patch on his uniform.

Tyler is pretty certain that Dada was on that very submarine pictured on his uniform. I was in no mood to argue, so...yup...that's the HMJ on the Kitsap County Sheriff's uniform patch.

Later that same day, thanks to this little encounter, a marked police car had to slow way down to follow me on another road that also changes speed limit. He caught up to me when I was in the 50 MPH zone and had to slow way down. He was definitely going faster than the posted speed. By the time we reached the 40 MPH he'd backed off a little. I figure he ran my plated, saw that I'd gotten a ticket mere minutes before, and knew I couldn't be intimidated into going faster. He patiently followed me into both the 35 MPH and 25 MPH zones before he finally turned off and I continued on...going 25 MPH.

I've been keenly aware of the posted speeds since getting my ticket that is costing twice what I was planning on paying for a massage this week. I have come to two conclusions.
1) The massage is getting put off for a few weeks.
2) Driving 40 downhill around a curve is painfully slow and there must be another way to get into town!

Drive safely. Or, as we like to say here...Drive Friendly!

Giveaway!!!

2011-03-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

It's here! It's time!

I'm officially announcing a giveaway!

Thank you to my first 50 followers! I'm so excited that that many people read what I have to say. I hope the number keeps growing too. Not that my message is all that profound, but because I'm true to me and I've learned that that connects with a lot of others. I like connecting. So, here's to 50 more...

(raises glass of water - *clink*)

So, what are you going to win?

I actually had a hard time with this - by blog covers a lot of subjects. I have decided, though -

The winner will get:

stationary (I think the art of letter writing is lost

and I long to bring it back)

pens (can't write letters without pens!)

a magnetic list (great for to do lists or the week's groceries)

pencils (I like writing in pencil...not sure why, just do)

a homemade shopping cart clipboard (got the idea from one of my husband's magazines and LOVE mine!)

a sample of 5 flavors of Kataluma Chai (one of my all time favorite ways

to take a deep breath)

How can you win?

In honor of my last post I'm curious what roles or responsibilities you wrap up in the package that is YOU!

So, in the comments section, leave me a list of the hats you wear.

Example:

Jace might leave a note saying he is a reader, son, brother (big brother, actually), dare devil, house sheriff, and aspiring spy.

That's it. Leave a comment with your list and I'll pick a winner using random.org.

The contest is open until the end of the month. I'll pick a winner next Friday, April 1st.

Mrs. Mama

2011-03-25T14:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know if multitasking and combining roles or jobs is all that new, really. Just think about parents - they've been around for a while and I don't know anyone who is "just a parent." So I think we just keep changing the name for things and adjusting what we're multitasking as times and situations change around us.

Look at me...My kids like to ask about the "real jobs" I've held. Let's see, in my adult life I've been a college student, which they're not convinced is a real job at all, but I say it is. While in college I also held several part time positions - secretary, teaching assistant, Queen of Taco Bell (that wasn't the actual title, in case you were wondering), coordinator of a mentoring program, peer educator - not all at once, but often more than one at a time. Then I went on to be a graduate student, during which time I was a new wife and a mother to be before my schooling was done. For a year or so I was focused on being a wife and mother. I was a research assistant and an academic advisor for a while. Then a mother of two, still a wife, and pretty soon a Passion Parties consultant to boot. Sometime after that I settled back down to wife and mother, this time with a third on the way and then born. And now I find myself still a wife and mother and also a teacher. That's why Gracie calls me Mrs. Mama.

Through all of this I was many other things too, as we all are - daughter, friend, aunt, confidant, sister, planner, listener, granddaughter. Sometimes I do well at most of what I do. Other times I don't live up to my own standards. But it's all part of my role as me.

I'm looking at taking on either FRG (Family Readiness Group) president or Ombudsman for our command. I've been asked if I'll put the kids back in school. People have asked how I'll do it all. Am I taking on too much. I've to say - this isn't anything new. Not for me, who has loaded a lot on her plate in the past and can balance it again. Not for a lot of people, who tackle more than one responsibility at a time for many reasons. I not only think I can "do it all," but know that I can. I'm Mrs. Mama!

And it apparently runs in the DNA to take on a few job descriptions. Gracie has come up with two clever ideas for future businesses she'd like to operate. She might open a salon/bakery so that people can eat cupcakes while getting their toes painted or be a massagetologist and work with stars, relaxing them before big shows and applying their make up!

If you're like me you have more than one task to tackle, it can be done with a smile and confidence. If you're like Gracie, you can do it with a spring in your step, sparkly shoes, and the best giggle ever! So, get to it!

A Note From My Mom

2011-03-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Annie's blog readers,

Please excuse Annie's long absence from posting silly, enlightening, thought provoking blog posts. She has been very busy with life. Things never got so bad that a doctor's visit was necessary, although, a visit with a friend was in order and Annie complied with her recommendations to drink wine and eat dessert. (The friend technically is a doctor, so if you'd like the doctor's excuse too, I'm sure we can arrange that.) Annie is really no less busy now, but feeling more organized. She's hoping to get back to blogging more regularly now.

Thank you,

Annie's mom

OK, so my mom didn't really right me an excuse for being absent from my blogging life...but I bet she would if I asked! It's all true, though. I've missed writing my random thoughts in print for whomever to read. And I do have everything ready for my giveaway that I've been talking about for some time. (I hope to have that post up by this weekend!) But I'm just been busy, busy, busy. I've been having fun, using my brain, and getting excited.

Here's what's gone down:

My husband got home from sea at the end of February. We've enjoyed having him around again, but there's always an adjustment too. We've been doing things on our own and now he's here. Part of me wants to dump everything in his lap and run away for a few days or weeks. I could even send the occasional very short email to check in. Another part of me wants to hug and kiss him and not let go, but his work life continues, so that's a no go too. And then there's the transition with the kids. Dada's home but not home and what's up with that!? There's a lot of emotional schtuff that goes along with a patrol's ending.

I've decided to apply for Ombudsman. Every crew has one or two ombudsmen who act as the command liaison for the command families. Our crew is taking applications and I'm excited to try for it. I really feel like a great fit for the job. Scott and I have been married for more than half of his career and I have a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, which is basically a systemic approach (using as many resources as are available and willing) to finding solutions. I'm taking the training course in a few weeks and interviewing for the position after that. I'm hopeful that I'll get it, but really excited that I'm going for it!

Our FRG president stepped down. Days after I made the decision to put my name in for Ombudsman I found out that the president of the Family Readiness Group (FRG), the family support group associated with our command, was stepping down from her position. As the vice president of the group I have the option of stepping up into that role. I decided to hold off. I wouldn't mind it, but really feel that I'm a better fit for Ombudsman and want that ~~job~~ volunteer position more! So, for now I'm the Standing President. That means I'm taking on the role temporarily. And, in this spot I'm working with our advisors, command, and other board members to improve how our FRG runs. I've been reading Navy instructions on how FRGs should be developed and run. I've spoken with others about their FRGs and I'm currently involved in rewriting the by-laws! Never a dull moment.

Friends and family stopped in to say hi. Amidst all this craziness, my little sister and nephew were here for a few days and my college roommate, her husband and their kids came to visit. We played, ate, shopped, visited, played some more. Oh - and I made phone calls, wrote emails, and tried to focus on the people who were here. I'm so glad they came and we had a great time! We've got a grandma and grandpa coming next month...excited for that too!

So, that's been life here. Yes, we've sort of kept up with school. We've completed 144 days at this point and I'm still amazed at how much they learning. Sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get them to tell Scott something they learned that day. Other times they're all over it! A day or two ago Scott put new tires on his truck. They're 35 inches tall. Gracie asked if she was taller than them.

Scott asked: "Do you know how tall you are?"
Gracie: "Yeah, four-two."
Me: "And do you know how many inches are in a foot?"
Gracie: "Twelve."
Me: "Yup..."
(waiting to see what happens next)
Gracie: "So four feet is 48 inches."
Me: (jaw drops) "Um, yeah. Now add your two inches."
Gracie: "Ten!"
Me: "Yes, eight plus two is ten. So, what is forty eight plus two."
Gracie: "Fifty! I'm taller than Dad's tires!"

Really? Yup, she's that good. And I'm that proud.

So, life is still a little busy here, but more organized and in a few weeks I'll know if I'm Ombudsman or FRG president and then everything will change again! lol But I'm ready for it this time, so hopefully I'll keep up better with touching base with all of you through my posts. I've missed blogging and have many ideas I'd like to write on.

Hopefully I'll be back again soon. Until then...

Birthday Plans

2011-03-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

What better way to come back to my blog than to fill you in on what my kids have been saying...right? Tonight's story is all about Gracie. The other two have certainly said crazy things too, but Gracie's had me rolling all day today!

Gracie: "Here are a few things I'd like for my birthday, since it's really close."
Me: "Really close?"
Gracie: "Yeah. June is only about three months away. You need to start planning. I don't want you to be still thinking about what to do two days before my birthday like you are with Dada's."

"I want a princess cake or a barbie cake or a barbie princess cake."

"JAA-AACE, why do you have to be so obnoxious?"

Mama: "So, what do you guys think we should get for Dada's birthday?"
Tyler: "Monster truck."
Gracie: "Don't you want to survive?"
Tyler: "Dada like monster truck!"
Gracie: "But if we buy Dada a monster truck than we won't have money for food and that means we won't survive."
Tyler: "Hmmm. (pause) Next year monster truck."

(Doing a mad lib with Dada, who's turning 33 in two days.)
Dada: "Next you need a large number."
Gracie: "Thirty-three."
Dada: "Hey! That's not large!"

So, there you have it...life continues here as normal now that all of our guests have left. We really enjoyed spending time with family and friends who might as well be family! Thanks for coming...excited for our next guests, and happy to be posting on here again. Talk to ya'll again soon.

MIA

2011-03-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

I know I've been a bit out of touch lately.

Expect that to continue for a while longer...at least.

There's a lot going on...with Sub Ball dress shopping, visitors, discussing and planning and more fun stuff!

Really, truly, there's lots of fun to be had and not much time for blogging.

Sorry!

I hope to be back in a week or so writing about all the things that are bouncing around in my head, including...

(wait for it)

...the giveaway I've been hinting about!

So, thank you for your patience. Enjoy your quiet time (at least as far as my contribution goes). Feel free to explore the blogs to the left and the ones listed on each of the pages at the top of the page.

See you soon!

What Makes Me Awesome

2011-03-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

So, there I was innocently minding my own business on facebook. When suddenly Smrt Mama posted all sorts of things that I found interesting and possibly even important. In the midst of all the things she shared was something she put on her blog back in November. It was an exercise in realizing how incredible you are. I didn't do it then. I was busy, tired, had all sorts of excuses. But today I decided I'd take a crack at it. What about you? Are you ready to see how awesome you are?

I'd start by reading Smrt Mama's post.

Pretty good, huh? And it doesn't sound too awfully difficult, except that it's looking at myself adoringly instead of listing the many ways I could seek improvement. That list would be much easier to spit out. But I'm going to focus on the positive today. And no sabotaging. Loving me today.

One more thing - not all my lists are complete. I know that some of you may want to offer suggestions for things I could love about myself. Please don't. This is my list and I need to work on finding five things about my physical self, my mind, and what I've accomplished - for me. I'm putting this out to all of you, though, even though it's incomplete because I think a work in progress is still worth reading sometimes.

So, here we go:

Five things I admire about my looks and body:

I love my eyes. I like their color, ability to smile with me, and the fact that so many of my emotions show through them.
I like my shoulders. They're freckled and I've always loved freckles! Plus they are beautifully rounded and I enjoy that gentleness about them.
I like my breasts. They have great form and function. Three babies have helped make me proud of them in a whole new way!
I have great ankles. They're slender and strong.

Five things that are great about my mind:

I'm a planner. I like to look into the future, set goals, and help find ways to reach them.
I'm a dreamer. I like to believe in good, joy, and love.
I tend to see the positive in people and to give them the benefit of the doubt.
My friendships are many and varied. I love that I love so many different people, and that they are different.
I am in touch with my emotions. I can usually identify the feelings before I even know the reason behind them. I believe feeling is a great thing and a wonderful resource for me.

Five accomplishments:

I have a Master's Degree - complete with some incredible friendships.
I'm raising three beautiful, mostly great monkeys - teaching them to love, to love learning, and to think for themselves!
I have worked through some difficult situations in my life and come out stronger on the other side. I've given back to others, to help them as well, in the areas I've struggled.
I have a strong marriage. In or out of the military that's not a certainty.
I realize I have something to share, that others might learn from, and I'm volunteering in our Family Readiness Group, in hopes of helping others not only survive, but also thrive, in their lives as milspouses.

And there's my incomplete list. Are you ready to make yours? Start when and where you can. And know that if you can't come up with all 15 bullets - you're still amazing! Good luck and have fun!

50 Followers!

2011-03-02T12:20:00.000-08:00

YAY!!! I have 50 followers! How exciting!

(You can tell I'm excited by the overuse of exclamation points!)

That's all for now.

I'll announce the giveaway I've been preparing for soon.

Stay tuned...

Now - it's nap time!

(See? I'm excited about that too!)

All State

2011-03-01T11:53:00.000-08:00

(If you want to watch the videos, I recommend pausing the playlist at the bottom.)

Have you seen these State Farm Insurance commercials? The ones where they sing a jingle and wish for things and *poof* they get their wish?

The kids love them! In fact every time they see one they try it. They sing the song, wish for all sorts of things and *poof* nothing.

Today, Jace finally figured out what the problem is. We don't have State Farm Insurance. He's pretty annoyed with me that I won't switch our insurance company because he knows that that's the reason he can't wish for whatever he wants and get it.

Yup. That's the reason.

****************

By the way...I've been gathering little things for my give away. And I'm eagerly waiting to hit 50 followers to let you know what you could have a chance to win! Currently I have 49! So, if you know of anyone who might want to read about our lives in the Navy, homeschooling, parenting, and my random thoughts on things that are important to me...send them this way and tell them to follow me!

Sassafrass

2011-02-26T23:04:00.000-08:00

I'm sure our days have been filled with great soundbites, but these are the two I remember most from today:

Gracie: "When I'm President I'm going to make a rule that everyone in the world has to be cute all the time."
Jace: "The President only makes rules for the people in our country, not the whole world."
Gracie: "That's OK. Then we'll be cute and everyone else won't be."

**********
Mama: (Driving Scott's truck, an F250) "I think I should have just run over that little car that pulled out in front of us. Probably wouldn't have even felt it."
Jace: "Well you'd feel the handcuffs and hear the sirens."

They're full of sass, aren't they?

Mixing Hormones, Emotions, and Babies

2011-02-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

I put myself out there in this blog a lot, I think. I risk judgment and ridicule because I think what I have to say might reach someone who needs to hear it. Yes, many of my posts are entertaining (I hope) or simply reviews of our homeschooling lives or silly things the kids do and say. But, on occasion, I write something that could be a bit controversial. Today might be one of those days.

I've thought about this post for a long time. It's a topic that I've mulled over in my mind for seven and a half years now. I wasn't sure how to write about it, though. I'm still not...but I'm going to give it a try. Recently there was a 4-month-old taken to the hospital and found to have been repeatedly abused by his mother (story here). This is one of those things that is easy to feel badly about, even get angry about, but to also let go of easily because it won't happen to you or me, right?

I have to admit that I have a whole range of emotions that go through me when hearing these stories. One thing I'm able to do now, though, that I wasn't eight years ago, is to empathize. I think I tend to be a pretty compassionate person anyway and I'd hope (although I don't remember for certain) that along with feeling angry on behalf of the child, I've always felt some sympathy for the parent who shakes her child to stop him from crying. Some of you might wonder why I'd bother, but I don't think most of these situations start with an adult wanting to harm a child. I like to believe there's not malicious intent. In that assumption, some sympathy can be found. But, how did I work my way toward empathy - feeling like I might know the parent's heartache, frustration, uncertainty?

I became a parent myself.

I became a mama to an incredibly beautiful little boy. And three weeks later my husband sailed away on his submarine and I curled up with my baby to nurse him and grow him and love him. Jace wasn't a colicky baby. Overall he was pretty good, I think. And I wasn't completely alone for that three month patrol. We have three sets of parents and they all came out at some point to help out and see their new grandbaby. I also had friends a plenty within driving distance to bring over dinner or just come hang out. And still, with all that I had going for me, I was overwhelmed. I was exhausted, an emotional wreck more than normal, trying to put on a "got it all together" face anytime anyone was around. I missed my husband but thought I was supposed to be strong. Loved my baby but wanted him to sleep...just a little...when not touching me. I was overwhelmed.

And one day he wouldn't stop crying and I tried everything to help him. I changed him, fed him, burbed him, swaddled him, unwrapped him, rocked him, cuddled him, cooed at him, yelled at him, cried with him, sobbed with him.

Thought about shaking him and screaming at him to shut up.

Then I put him down in his crib and walked as far away as I could get in the house. I cried and cried and scolded myself and berated myself and couldn't believe what a horrible person I was and how absolutely awful it was that I wanted to hurt my baby. I wanted to shut him up so badly and that was wrong and horrible and I was tired and hurt and didn't know what else to do.

After I calmed down enough to realize I needed help I wasn't sure who to call. I didn't want anyone to report me and have my baby taken away. I didn't want anyone else to realize what a horrible mother I was, even though I obviously was. I called my mom.

I don't remember the whole conversation, but I remember saying something like, "I think I understand why people hurt their kids. They don't know what else to do." I don't know what mom said back to me either. I do remember that Jace was still crying at the other end of the house.

Whatever mom said, whatever I did...I didn't shake my baby. I didn't hit him. I made it through that ordeal, that day, but I came out of it with a little more empathy for parents that don't make the decision I did - to put him down and walk away. And not everyone has a mother who can talk them down from thousands of miles away.

So, I'm sharing this today, feeling a little exposed, because I know that it's not uncommon to not only feel at wit's end after having a baby, but to be there. I know I'm not the only one who's felt overwhelmed by a baby. I know someone is feeling that way now. Maybe it's you. Maybe a friend of yours.

I want to be clear that I'm in no way excusing the mother of the little boy in the article for what she did. I am saying, though, that without knowing more, I'm not willing to say she's a bad mother and throw away the key just yet. She did some incredibly horrible things (I should probably say allegedly) and has a long way to go before she should be allowed to have her baby back, but I do not think I can judge her completely.

Perhaps if she'd reached out or someone had touched her, the situation would be different. We'll never know.

So, what if it is you that's feeling this way?

Call someone you know

Talk to your family doctor

Find a counselor or clergy member

Ways to soothe a crying baby

Walk away (put baby someplace safe and collect yourself)

Sleep (dishes and laundry and whatever else can wait)

Buy some clearance paper plates

Eat your fruits and vegetables (most can be eaten with one hand!)

Connect with a parenting group or La Leche League in your area

Know you're not alone

And if it's a friend?

Call her

Stop by with cookies or dinner

Let her sit with baby and visit with you while you do the dishes (don't ask, just do)

Take baby for an hour or two so she can sleep uninterrupted, or shower

Offer to pick up something at the store

Invite her over for a meal

Ask how you can help

Suggest she talk to someone

Call in outside help if it's needed

Let her know she's not alone

My mantra for parenting has always been, "I am not the first to go through this. Others have survived it. So will I." You are not the first and you can come to the brink of injuring your baby, maybe you've already gone over that line, but there's help. There's a way back. You are not alone. You are not horrible. You're a parent. Others have survived it. You can too.

Friday Fill-In #31

2011-02-25T10:53:00.000-08:00

1. Aside from no deployments, what is one thing you would want to make the MilSpouse life “perfect”? submitted by Oh How Delightful

That's a tough question. I think "perfect" is in the eye of the beholder. For the most part I like our life. Things that would make it easier (and therefore more perfect) aren't things that the military itself could really do. So, we'll keep plugging away and working toward perfection in our little family...better manners, better eating habits, more activity, play. Of course selling our house in GA and not having that mortgage hanging over us, paying off debt, traveling at will...these things wouldnt' hurt!

2. Just how many peppers did Peter Piper pick? submitted by Married into Army

a peck, right? I 'm not even going to google how much that is. I'm feeling lazy...someone else will and I'll read it in their post!

3. If you could have any career in the world with nothing holding you back, what would you do? submitted by It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To

I enjoyed the writing for print course I took and really hope to refocus on submitting at some point so maybe I can be in print. I also loved my advisor position and often say that my ideal job would be at a college. I would totally take advantage of the discounted courses too...I love learning!

4. Do you have a service oriented tattoo and if so what is it. If you don’t what would you get? submitted by The Squid’s Accomplice

Not at this time. I don't know what I'd get...possibly dolphins or a mustang, since I'm pretty proud of our experiences in the submarine force and that Scott's an LDO. Chances are good though, that I won't get either, though. I'd more likely get something symbolic for Scott personally rather than his profession.

5. Imagine a block of time has opened up in your busy day for you to take a class in anything you like. What subject would you choose? submitted by To The Nth

I'm love to take more writing classes or something at the gym. I'm pretty sure I'd love Zumba and I really wish I could get back into the pool. And for something completely impractical for me, but that I think I'd enjoy - painting or drawing. But, not only does a block of time have to open up, but free sitters have to magically appear!

Check out Wifey and the other milspouse's answers too!

Stories

2011-02-21T11:16:00.000-08:00

Last week our homeschooling was very relaxed. Jace has started learning cursive, which he's excited about until he actually has to practice, and I was just beat. So, we talked about stories.

We sent out questions to our families back when we did our family unit study. We went over those, talked about the things Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles shared with us. The kids enjoyed the connection to the family they don't see much. Thankfully they're getting some visitors over the next few months and can't wait to see everyone who will be stopping by.

We also learned about the origins of Valentine's Day. I don't remember ever hearing the story and I think it's quite appropriate that St. Valentine have a holiday all about love named after him. Apparently, before he died and it was decided that he would be a saint, he was a priest. He lived during a time of war and the ruler of his country declared that young men were not allowed to marry. Young married men didn't make the best soldiers and he wanted them focused on fighting not on family left behind. Valentine secretly kept performing marriages for those that wanted to unite with their loves. When this was discovered, he was sent to prison. The jailer's daughter visited him often and they fell in love. He wrote her letters and, as the story goes, he signed them, "With love, from your Valentine." Fast forward to today - smother your loves with cards, chocolate and flowers!

We created several stories too, using Mad Libs and just on our own. We spent time at the mall, drinking chai and people watching. Then we told stories about the lives of the people we saw. This was an interesting activity for me to watch the kids do. Gracie was very excited and had lots of ideas about what people might be doing at the mall, what they might do when they're not at the mall, who they could be on the phone with. Jace was not as excited and answered my prompts with very realistic sound bites. "Shopping." "Work." "His wife." Granted he was probably right, but Gracie's answers were much more dramatic! "Maybe he's going shopping to find a present for his girl friend because it was just Valentine's Day and now everything is on sale and he's looking for a really cute dress to buy her and he's on the phone with her best friend to find out what style she wants. Because, Mama, there are lots of dresses that are cute. She could like sparkly or pink or ruffles or all three - like me!" Such different children!

We played lots of new made-up games too. Like the noun game that Jace made up, that turned into the adjective game. He thought of coming up with as many nouns as we could related to a subject (like vehicles or horses) and we decided that it would be easier to come up with adjectives...so we did. We also read and recited nursery rhymes and told about our favorite cartoons, books, or songs.

Jace also suggested, at dinner one night, that we go around the table and say a reason why we liked each person. When it was Jace's turn to say something he liked about me he stumbled a little. "Hmmm. Let me think about this one." Then after he hemmed and hawed for a little he said, "Well, I can't come up with anything else so I guess I'll use this: I like you because I wouldn't be here without you." He's such a pip squeak! I'm glad he understands my role in his existence, but it would be nice if there were one or two other little things he liked about me!

So, our week was pretty relaxed as far as school goes, but very busy otherwise! All in all, it was a good week. I hope you can all say the same.

Foods Around the World

2011-02-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago we took part in a Foods Around the World lunch with some other homeschooling families. Not only was it a lot of tasty fun to eat food from different places (at least for me - the kids weren't impressed) but we also made little poster displays to show off what we learned. I know...fun, right?

But before you get to see those...let me tell you about the adventure of choosing our places and making our foods.

Gracie loves Fancy Nancy. Fancy Nancy loves Paris. It was really a no-brainer! Although I tried to convince her to make escargot she wanted to go with something chocolaty. (Smart girl!) We decided on truffles.

It was quite the messy process, but really not all that difficult. (Here's the recipe we used.) We had a good time creating our very delicious dessert! And, they were pretty primal too.

So, here's Gracie with her fabulous display. Please notice how cute she looks!

Right around the time we were working on these projects a friend of mine commented on her facebook status about how much work is actually done by the parents when teachers (in public schools) assign projects. I chuckled to myself because I was going to be very hands on with Gracie. I wanted to show her how it should be put together. But while I was distracted someplace else she took it upon herself to glue down the print outs that she'd colored. It's hard to see, but on her poster they start on the left and go along the bottom of the board. In my head, I expected to place them differently...more balanced or something.

At first I was annoyed that she'd not done it properly, but I hadn't told her not to go ahead and she was just taking responsibility for her work. So I let her keep going. And when it was all done I looked at it and was proud. It looks like a 5 year old did it. Isn't that great!

So, Jace...Jace's first choice was Antarctica. I'm pretty sure I said something like, "Uh...um...what do you think are normal antarctic foods? Whale blubber? Do you have a second choice?"

He asked if we could do something in the Arctic Circle. He likes the snow, what can I say. So we looked to see what countries or places are that far North. I tried to steer him toward something on the Baltic Peninsula. But once he realized Alaska was there and they eat crab...there was no turning back.

We made Alaskan Crab (we used imitation crab meat) cooked in a very tasty sauce! (Here's that link. It calls for linguine, but we left that out to keep with our primal habits. Grok totally would have cooked with wine!)

Jace did a great job with his poster too. He picked some cool facts to put on it and drew a totem pole and a sled with dogs! See the proud (and practiced) grin of his?

So, that exploratory unit went well. The kids learned a lot of new things and both want to visit the places they learned about. I'm hoping they take me with them when they go! It was also a great opening to the cultural studies we're going to start this week. They really enjoy The Amazing Race, as do I. So, we're taping it and each week will learn about the places the teams travel too. Very exciting...I'll keep you posted.

Friday Fill-In #30

2011-02-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

It's back! With some great questions from the milspouses that answer the questions each week...check it out!

1. What is your favorite MilSpouse blog (not including Wife of a Sailor who we all love, or your own)? submitted by Our Crazy Life (Wifey note: whaaaat? You can’t say my blog? No fun! LOL, just kidding)

I don't actually read a lot of blogs regularly, but the two I find myself drawn to most often are Randomonium (not only is she a Navy wife, but she's also primal - bonus for me!) and Planting Shade (a dear friend of my sister who's personality and writing style reach out to me).

2. What are your favorite perks about your s/o being deployed (we all know there are perks)? submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife

I like realizing all the things I love about him all over again. There's probably more, but right now, at this point in the patrol I don't want to think about what's good about him being gone, I just want to be excited that he's going to be home sooner rather than later and the perks that come with that!

3. How long did you date your before getting engaged? Married? submitted by Utterly Chaotic

Well, on and off since 5th grade! I'm serious. It was way back then when I thought he was boring that she laughed and said, "You're probably going to marry him." After years of holding hands on the bus and getting in trouble for calling long distance to dedicate songs to him on the radio (yes, there was a time that people paid for long distance calls by the minute!) we dated for over a year in high school.

He broke up with me near the end of our Senior year so that he could join the Navy and I wouldn't feel tied to him. (I'm still not sure if he was being thoughtful or selfish - but it worked.) We remained friends and we both sorta dated other people. In my Sophomore year of college we officially got back together, got engaged during Junior year and were married the month after I graduated from college...10 1/2 years ago!
4. What do you think your would do if s/he wasn’t in the military? submitted by Adventures of M-Squared

He believes that if we hadn't gotten married he probably would have gotten out of the Navy and gone to Alaska to make some money on the fishing boats and been a climber in the mountains around here during the off season. But if we were still married and he just wasn't in...I really don't know. What he'll do after he retires from the Navy is something we discuss frequently and the options range from self-employed wood worker and general handyman to wearing a new uniform, a suit and tie, in whatever the equivalent of division officer is in the civilian world. Time will tell...

5. If you could talk to the Secretary of (fill in your appropriate branch) what is one suggestion you would like to bring to their attention in order to improve the lives of military families? submitted by My Life as His (Air Force) Wife

Such a thought provoking question. I'm trying to think about what would make my life easier...one thing that would really help is to have free childcare at the gym. I know, it's a little silly with all the other things that could be done. But it would really help me to be able to jump in the pool every now and then. Heck, I'd even pay for childcare...not much, but something...I just want it at the gym!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T22:07:00.000-08:00

Is it a Hallmark holiday? Is it a day of great romance? Is it really about love or about getting things?

I dare say it's all of that and more, depending on who you ask and when. Valentine's Day brings a number of things to mind for me. One of my absolute favorite memories of Valentine's is the cards I used to get from Grandma Kral. They looked kind of like these:

Picture from Wholesale Accessory Market

I got them every year, even when I was in college. And they always had the little sucker shaped like a heart. I remember one year in high school thinking this was a little silly, but then quickly dismissed that notion. It was lovely.

Grandma's been gone for a few years now, but I still think about those cards. I still think about a lot of memories she left me.

Scott and I don't do too much for this particular holiday. We do usually each get a card, but since our first Valentine's Day as husband and wife, when I bought him a turkey fryer, there seems to be no gift worth giving!

This Valentine's Day, however, is one of those days that he and I aren't together. We won't be giving cards or gifts or even hugs and kisses. That's the life we chose. It's understood and OK.

Even though Scott and I don't do it up big for Valentine's, I do like the joy and excitement and chocolate that come with it. So the kids and I make it special. They get a little something from their grandparents like I did from mine. And they love that! Plus we do a little something, but not too outrageous. Last year we made handmade cards for their classmates. This year we sent Mad Lib valentines notes to the grandmas and grandpas. And tomorrow, in homeschool, we're going to have a little more fun with this unique holiday.

And, in case you're interested in some of my past posts on the subject (at least loosely based around Valentine's Day), check out this link: Valentine's-ish Posts.

So, I hope no matter what you're up to tomorrow and who you have to share it with...I hope you feel loved and special. I hope you laugh a little, eat something sweet, and have a happy day.

Luckily I'm Good Company

2011-02-12T12:41:00.000-08:00

I've been wondering lately if being the only one to comment on my own facebook status qualifies as talking to one's self. Or is it more like journaling? What do you think?

As I pondered that very deep topic I also wondered about my blogging. It's definitely a journal of sorts, but also written for others. However, when I don't get feedback...am I really just talking to myself?

And that made me think of my at-least-one-a-day emails that I send to my husband while he floats in a tin can in the ocean. That's a submarine, for anyone who doesn't know. And, if you're not familiar with submarines...it's best to assume that you don't have any contact with your sailor while he's gone. But occasionally they can receive and sometimes even send messages. So, I write. Like I implied...I sometimes write more than once a day. I share stories from our days, crazy things the kids said, and of course he's missing on facebook. I also tell him we miss him and love him and try not to sound too needy for a response. Because responses don't necessarily come. So, I ask again...am I really just talking to myself?

I've decided that it doesn't matter. I'm not changing. I'm going to email my love and blog about our lives, from the minor details to the big stuff. I'm not going to stop thinking out loud on facebook either. The conclusion I've come to is: as least I'm good company.

Taboos

2011-02-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

What don't you talk about?

Everyone has things that are uncomfortable to have a conversation about. Sex, politics, and religion seem to be big ticket items that we shouldn't discuss in polite company, right?

WHAT?

Perhaps we haven't properly met. I don't do taboos. Don't get me wrong, I don't air all my laundry everywhere. But I do think everything can be talked about, and most of it probably should be discussed in polite company. After all, if you can't talk about your opinions and values nicely, you probably don't need to be talking about them at all. I know, I know...people are often passionate about these topics, and that's fine. But you can be passionate and respectful. They're not mutually exclusive.

So, really...what don't you talk about? Is your list longer? Shorter? Can you talk to your mother-in-law about when you were raped as a teenager?* Can you discuss incest with a survivor? Have you shared your opinion on spanking with your boyfriend? Do your kids know the mistakes you made?

I'm definitely not suggesting we be best buds with our children. Or that we out our gay friend with our suspicions. But I do think the more we talk about taboos the less taboo those things are. And I think that's a good thing.

If you read my post from a few days ago, you know I have a few things to decide when I'm going to share them with my kids. You'll notice I said "when." They'll know. In fact, Gracie already asked me (randomly), "Mama, have you even been in a police station?" Here's how that went...

Me: "Yes."

Gracie: "Really? (hushed to her brother) Mama's been in a police station!"

Jace: "Mama! What were you arrested for?"

Me: "I wasn't arrested. That's not what Gracie asked."

Jace: "Oh. Why were you in a police station then?"

Me: "Because someone hurt me and I needed to tell the police about it."

Gracie: "What happened?"

Me: "That's a story for another time."

Jace: (Eyes rolling - I heard them from the front seat.) "Let me guess, we're not old enough."

Me: "That's right. It's a bigger kid kind of story."

Look at that? I'm not saying I'm perfect. In fact, I've said more than once that's I'm definitely not. But what I do work hard at, among other things, is creating an atmosphere where I can be talked to and where I can talk. No one needs to know everything. Kids definitely don't need to know a lot of things right now. But that doesn't mean that they need to be shut down when they ask a random question, especially a hard one.

Here's some great advice for talking to your kids about sex - it's not a one time conversation that happens when they're 16. It's an ongoing conversation that begins when they're babies and toddlers and you're teaching them body parts, teach them all their body parts. It continues when you're 4-year-old asks how the baby is getting out of your tummy and you tell him. No need for diagrams and if your kids are like mine they'll grab onto the word "tunnel" and "vagina" will be forgotten. But it continues regardless...talking about our bodies, what sex is and isn't. It's my strategy. For everything - sex, politics, and religion.

So, start talking...open that space for conversations to happen. Or...start a blog!

*After a recent conversation with one of my mothers-in-law, I started thinking about this subject. I frequently get surprised emails where people can't believe I put something out there on the world wide web. But I think it all deserves to be there. And I hope it all speaks to someone.

Is There Anything Better?

2011-02-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

Tyler sleeping in the back of the van while the movers loaded our home goods.

Tyler just couldn't take anymore unpacking either!

Kids can sleep anywhere, can't they?

Gracie sleeping on the long haul across the country.

Jace conked out.

Gracie sleeping after being the first to scrape her knees in the driveway.

Jace and Gracie using the whole bed at the hotel during our last few days in Georgia.

Tyler sleeping just before he ended up in the hospital with respiratory issues. And I thought he was just fighting a cold!

Gracie and Tyler are both sleeping in this bed at Uncle Jared's and Aunt Kate's. Can you see Jace all tucked in the blanket?

Tyler crashing under the table at Grandma and Grandpa Foote's.

Gracie sleeping at Disney.

Tyler: 1 month old.

Tyler sleeping on my chest, just a few beautiful months old.

Gracie and Tyler exhausted after meeting their little brother!

Gracie on Aunt Mary's lap. She's very comfy.

Scott and Gracie relaxing at an airport...how is that even possible?

I love seeing my children in their most blissful state: asleep. I have more pictures of Jace too, but I couldn't find many of them...I didn't start putting pictures online until after Tyler was born, so I don't have many digitalized ones of Jace's itty bitty years. But you get the idea anyway...they're beautiful.

They're dreaming. They're at peace. They're untroubled.

Sometimes during their waking hours they're a lot of other things and I can get a mite frustrated with them. But then here they are...asleep. Content. Is there anything better?

Quick Wit

2011-02-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

I do not have quick wit. I have been known to remind Scott of something he said days after he said it, and forgot about it, just so I can tell him what I should have said. He usually gives me a little sympathy chuckle and we go on with our lives. He, on the other hand, is pretty good with a come back. And that must be where Jace gets it.

Jace is excellent. His brand of humor is one that I find fascinating and sometimes frustrating. Usually I realize his jokes rather slowly (yes, he's seven) but then I realize how funny what he said was! He has pretty good delivery too. He knows it takes a minute so he pauses to let what he said set in. (Maybe it's not emphasis - maybe he just knows I'm slow. Hmmm)

Today I got zapped by a zinger that Jace tossed my way. I got it right away too! Are you ready for it?

It's been a long day (week, month, I'm even willing to go so far as to say year) and Jace and I have been butting heads for most of it (at least today). So this afternoon when I was getting out of the van and holding the door so it wouldn't hit the vehicle next to us, I slammed my knee into the door. (I know, I'm smooth and dim witted...the complete package.)

It's still hurting, especially when I try to bend it. So, doing something a little bit ago I moved it unexpectedly and a little farther than I have since hurting it and immediately bit my lip to keep from completely swearing like a sailor. (kind of worked...sort of)

What came out was, "Son of a - man, that hurts like a mother!"

My quick thinking son said, "What? Does it hurt like a mother is mean?"

Zap.

Friday Fill-In #29

2011-02-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

1.Since most if the country has had nasty weather, what has your weather been like this week?
     I'm here in the great PNW! We've been cool but clear lately!

2.What is/are your best money saving tip(s)?
     I like to meal plan, but I plan for 5 days not 7. Those other two days are meant for leftovers or what's in the freezer.

3.What was your favorite vehicle you’ve ever owned??
     We briefly owned a Pontiac G8. It was fast and fun and...I miss it. But my minivan is much more practical. I guess.

4.What is a question you’d like to see asked in a future fill-in?
     I'd love to see more recipe questions. And what about ideas for staying connected with family...you know, those people we moved thousands of miles away from? :-)

5.Fill in the blank: You might be a MilSpouse if….
     ...your toddler knows the word "commissary."
     ...you think in acronyms.
     ...you celebrate holidays based on duty schedules.

Go see what Wifey and the other milspouses have to say. There are lots of money saving tips out there to be had!

Homeschool Spirit Week

2011-02-03T16:22:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we had spirit week! It wasn't as big or crazy as the spirit weeks I remember from my youth, but we still had a good time! Here's what we did:

Monday - Inside, Outside, Upside Down Day
     We wore our clothes inside out and/or upside down. We went to Zero Gravity, where the kids take gymnastics, and played during their open gym time.

Tuesday - 100th day of school!
     We had friends over and had a create-your-own-craft party. Some of the things were pretty creative, others were just plain crazy! But we had fun. We had lunch and ice cream sundaes too!

Wednesday - School Spirit Day
     We chose our school mascot, motto, and colors. We narrowed down the mascot to dolphins or monkeys, both of which live in families, are intelligent, and love to have fun. Dolphins have a special meaning in the world of submariners. I's what the pin is called that they get once they qualify...something. Sorry - I don't know all the details! But they look like this:

Monkeys ended up winning out in the end though, because we call the children monkeys. So it's a very fitting mascot for our little homeschool.

The motto we came up with is "Just hanging around...learning." And for our colors I let each of the kids pick one. Jace chose black, Gracie purple and Tyler yellow. I'm pretty pleased with our new school spirit! We even made shirts! (Sorry they're so wrinkled!)

Each of our school colors is represented. The monkey on the ground is Tyler, dancing! Jace is hanging upside down because he's a self-proclaimed dare devil. And Gracie's monkey has a cute bow on her tail.

The writing on the back I did in the color they chose. And Jace's is the only one with cursive writing, because he's learning that now.

Thursday - No school - just reading day!

We didn't do any formal schooling, but spent a lot of time reading aloud and to ourselves. We went to Barnes and Noble and read there, walked to the library and read there. Reading isn't real school. (wink, wink)

Friday - we took off...literally.

We went to a friends house and spent the night there. We had three adults (we're all friends from grad school) and seven kids! A little wine, lots of toys, and even fresh out of the oven cookies! It was a great end to our week!

Any of you who homeschool...do you do spirit weeks? If you don't, maybe you'll start now! We had a lot of fun.

Politics and Rape

2011-02-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

I greatly dislike politics. I don't like the shadiness. I don't like the outright lies. I don't like the hurt. It's not my cup of tea. But I see that it's important. I try to ignore it mostly and trust that others who know better than I do and don't feel their blood pressure going up just at the mention of the word are truly trying to do good. I have been trying to educate myself some more, though, during the past few elections to be able make an educated vote. But I still don't like it.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a book from the library that ended up being about politics and liked it! The author, Richard North Patterson, is one I've read before, but not in a while. The book I read this time is called The Race. At the end of the book, Patterson comments that Corey Grace is the politician most people wish existed. I know I do.

One of my favorite things about Corey Grace was that he never seemed to overlap topics. If they were discussing one hot button issue, he focused on that one, no matter how others tried to bait him with other topics. And he didn't let his decisions get effected by the next seven possible chess moves. I'm not a strategist, which might be part of my dislike of politics. I like that he was thinking ahead, smart enough to play with the big sharks, but didn't play their game. If only Corey Grace really existed.

But he doesn't. Instead, in our reality, pro-life congressmen have put a bill together to redefine rape so that federal funds won't be used for abortion in certain cases they deem unworthy. For me, this is a perfect example of overlapping topics. I know a few pro-lifers who believe all abortion is wrong. I know some pro-choicers who believe the option should always be there, no matter how conception occurred. And I know a lot of people somewhere in the middle. I don't know where all of you fall. But no matter what you believe about abortion, I'd like to ask you to put that aside for a minute. I know it's the hotter topic in this bill. But I'd like you to spend a minute considering rape.

I don't tell you the following for pity. These are facts. This is part of my life that I've dealt with pretty successfully over the past almost 18 years. So, although I'll certainly accept anything you have to say, I'm not trying to pull on your heart strings.

When I was 13 I met a boy that I liked that was older than me. He wanted things to go further than I did. I told him, "No." I cried. I screamed. I pushed. He was stronger. He raped me. I didn't have physical scars. He didn't have a weapon other than his strength.

That was rape.

If this bill passes it will define rape as only "forcible rape," which they don't define clearly at all. But it will not include date rape, statuatory rape, drugged rapes probably more. If it does pass, I wonder if my experience will be grandfathered in or if I'll have to start calling that day something else.

I went to the police, after a time where I tried to hide from everyone I knew. I reported him and then decided not to pursue legal actions. It was his word against mine. And words are hard to prove. If this bill passes words won't even be enough to accuse.

I thought at one point that my rape wasn't as bad as women who had been forced at gun point or drugged. I found out I was wrong. Their experiences were different, yes, but they didn't think me less worthy of my emotions because no weapon was used. That tells me that rape is rape. Date rape is rape. Statutory rape is rape. If a participant in the action is not a willing one...it's rape.

That's my take. I don't want to see this bill pass because I dont' want my rape defined as something else. I don't want other women to face an even more uphill battle in defining what happens to them and being able to process it and/or prosecute it.

All I'm asking is that you research the bill yourself and decide where you stand on it. And try not to get caught up in the boil of the abortion debate when there's a simmering topic there that needs attention too: rape is rape.

Marriage Challenge

2011-02-02T00:03:00.000-08:00

Just a little note...Courtney, at Women Living Well is hosting a marriage challenge. This is the third week of it. I've been reading here and there, dropping in on Courtney and the other women who have linked up to read their experiences. Wouldn't you know that it would take a post about intimacy...sex...to have me post!

Basically, while I was reading one of the linked blogs (Sara Beth's) she asked how we, her readers, show our husbands that they're number one. I commented to her and decided to put a little something on here. I highly value marriage. I think it's an incredible gift to commit your life to someone and feel fuller because of them. I know there are a lot of less than ideal marriages and I also know that no marriage can be a bed of roses all the time. But I think it's the most wonderful thing that Courtney and Sara Beth and so many others are putting their marriages in the spot light in their lives.

I miss my husband. Everyone knows that. Somehow it gives me joy to know others are cherishing theirs just a little bit more these days. To you ladies...I know you're not doing it for me, but thank you for doing it for you and your spouse.

For the rest of you, if you haven't taken a look at the marriage challenge and are interested. Here are the three posts Courtney has put out already.

Week 1: Praise
Week 2: Creative Praise
Week 3: Pursuing Intimacy

Trying New Things

2011-02-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've updated you on our adventure in primal living, but it's always on my mind. As part of my goal to be in 2011 I've been really paying attention to what I eat, drink, and do with my body. I want to be intentional about what I feed myself and my family and not just mindlessly through food on a plate. I want to be present with the kids when they're running and playing and laughing. I'm a work in progress.

At least I'm that, right? If I wasn't paying attention I probably wouldn't even be a work in progress, but whatever the opposite is.

So, what have we been doing? We've been getting out more. We've gone for several walks or hikes. I've found some local trails that are only a five or ten minute drive so that we can enjoy being outside, without having to worry about traffic or the tide coming in (or the kids running out into the tide!). Tyler really enjoys the "real trails" so that he can run free! We're up to about two and a half miles before Tyler asks to go home and Gracie complains that her feet hurt. I'm pretty excited about that. Jace, on the other hand, still wants to go further, and is going to have to wait for Dada on that. I don't think Gracie and Tyler are going to be ready for seven miles up and down a mountain anytime soon! But we're out and moving and that is a good thing.

We're also trying new things in the kitchen. We have our old favorites, like banana bread (made with almond flour), eggs and bacon, bison dogs, and such. But we also have a new favorite: meatza! The kids really enjoy that! Green smoothies are another item we've added to our repertoire. Jace and I really like them. Gracie says she does and then doesn't drink them and Tyler politely says, "Me get water?" Just last night we tried another new thing.

We were at a Super WalMart to pick up something for homeschooling and walked through the produce section to the register. Jace asked what something was, a red pummelo, and then if we could get it. I just wanted to get home and almost gave a quick "no" without even really considering his question. But I didn't. I stopped and and looked at it and said, "Sure, let's try it...maybe we'll find a new fruit we love!" So we got it. Jace did love it! I kept eating little pieces because I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. Gracie and Tyler decided quickly that they did not. But we all tried something new.

So, primal living is going well. And, one of my favorite benefits of primal living, I don't feel guilt about not always eating primally or staying in to relax and watch a movie when that's on the agenda. On the flip side, I really do enjoy the kids curiosity more and want to get out and about with them and try things I otherwise probably wouldn't.

Pet Names

2011-01-28T11:22:00.000-08:00

Occasionally it occurs to me that I hardly ever call my husband by his name when talking to him. When I'm talking about him I do, or I call him Dada and Daddy, depending on what I'm saying. But when I'm talking to him I rarely call him Scott. I call him Love, Sweets, Sweetie, Honey, Hun. He rarely calls me Annie either, but uses mostly the same nicknames for me. And when I write him it seems odd to sign my name. I usually just sign "me." After all, after the content of the message, it's not like there's a question who the letter or email is from! Right?

I like pet names. Not only do I use them with Scott, but with a lot of others too. Gracie has been Sweet Pea or Sweetie. Jace often hears, "What, Bud?" when pestering me. Tyler started the monkey moniker that now refers to all the kids. I also call him Linus sometimes and Snuggle Bunny other times. It's quite cute, though - he usually says, "No, me Lyler." He's most definitely my little Lyler!

It's not just my immediate family that gives and gets pet names. One of my oldest friends often calls me Gorgeous! I mean, really? Can you beat the feeling of that little window opening on facebook with the words "Hello gorgeous?" I don't think so. And she's not just saying it. She truly believes I'm beautiful. And I feel it when she says it.

Isn't that what pet names are about? Bringing out feelings of joy, being special, feeling loved? I gotta tell you...when Gracie calls me Princess (although I've never considered myself a princess) I feel special. And when Scott calls me Ann Marie (which is technically my actual name) that feels incredible warm and loving. Even when my sister calls me sister, it's a special thing for me.

So, it's obvious that I'm loved. It's obvious that I feel it. I don't really think the power of all that joy and the depth of these relationships are really in the name calling...but the words we share certainly help give all those emotions life.

Do you have any little names you share with a special someone? I hope you feel just as happy, cared about, and comforted as can be when you hear your pet names.

Friday Fill-In #28

2011-01-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

1.If you were a famous movie star, what types of movies would you star in?

I think I'd fit into a chick flick best. My comebacks are quick enough for comedy and I think I'd be scared doing thrillers! But predictable drama with a "happily ever after" ending...I'm in!

2.What is a vacation you would like to take if money were no object?

I'd love to travel with my family. If money was really no option then none of us would have to work and we could spend a week or two here or there...seeing the sights from coast to coast. Going abroad would be fun too...and incredible to see buildings that have been standing for longer than the US has existed. But, I really do want to visit each of our 50 states...each one has so much to offer.

3.Did you have pets growing up?

yup. When I was little (single digits) we had cows and horses. Even after we got rid of them we had cats and dogs. My favorite little doggy was Benji, who looked just like Benji - the famous dog. He hopped through the snow and we called him snow bunny! He was so fun!

4.What do you do for exercise?

not enough. We walk and are trying to do that more. There are other things I'd like to do...but we know that as military spouses it's not always easy to get time away from the kids and I don't necessarily want to pay for a sitter and pay for a workout. So...much of my exercise goals remain goals. But we are walking - did over 2 miles today!

5.What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received as a MilSpouse?

"It's written in jello." As in nothing is in stone in the military, dates can change, home for dinner might turn into, "Don't wait up."

That's what I have to say...want to read other milspouse answers? Wifey's got em! Go...go!

Looking Up...Looking Forward

2011-01-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

So, I've written a little bit on here about the difficulties of being a military spouse to a submariner. I've told about the effects of mixing the Emotional Cycle of Deployment with PMS. One post I just talked about how I do it, and should probably add that there are many other paths out there. There are lots of ways to be a spouse, with or without the military mixed in to add stress. And there was the post where I pointed out that I'm not single.

I think all those posts have merit, but I also would like to say...take anything I say with a grain of salt. I'm not perfect. I have days, weeks, possibly months where I'm anything but perfect. The last few weeks probably fall into that category more than any other.

With all my positive words and encouragement of others I was really focused on one day at a time. We've been busy, I've been tired and irritable and sad. I kept telling myself that one day at a time was fine, just life as it was going to be for now. And we'd get through.

Then a few different things happened over the course of a week or two. First of all, I spent a night with some girlfriends. We all have kids around the same age and after we tucked them all in we had plenty of time for wonderful chit chat. It was great. I felt refreshed, better but not "my old self." I'm a planner. I'm always looking forward. I wasn't there yet.

Then I had some blood work done and found out my vitamin D levels were low. Not terribly low, but low enough to take a supplement. Talking to my personal phone-a-doc friend I found out that one possible side effect of low vitamin D can be mild depression.

When Scott first left I had trouble falling asleep, which eventually turned into just not even trying to get to sleep until much later than I probably should have been staying up.

So, to sum it up...not enough sleep, low vitamin D, just a touch of stress...I don't know if I was actually depressed but I was definitely low. And I didn't even realize it, just thought it was life. One day at a time.

Then Sunday I ran into a friend I haven't seen or talked to in over three years. We were at the grocery store and the kids were crazy. She and I chatted a while and she even suggested talking to a counselor if I needed to. How had I not thought of that? If you don't already know, I have a Master's degree as a therapist. Going for help when I need it isn't a scary thought for me, like it is for some. It just never crossed my mind. I didn't even think about what I was going through being anything out of the ordinary for someone in my position. And maybe it isn't. But it's no way to live.

The last two nights I've gone to bed earlier than I have been, still not my regular time, but an improvement. I've gotten outside with the kids. I haven't had any caffeine, other than a little chai (stimulates the mind not the nerves), no sugar that doesn't occur naturally. I feel so much better. Already I'm thinking of what we're doing later this week, next month, this spring. I'm me!

I'm me.

So, I don't think I need to see a therapist right now, but for me just having an enemy (depression) gave me a problem to tackle and helped me make the changes I've known needed changing for weeks.

I wasn't sure how to put this all out there for you all. I wanted to share because I don't want anyone thinking I'm some super woman. I love hearing that I'm transparent on here...I want to be. I want my vulnerability to speak to readers and say that their imperfections are perfectly acceptable. We all have down days, weeks, maybe months...but there are ways to turn it around. Just don't give up...keep looking for that way out, listen when it comes calling, and ask for help when you need it. It's there.

Submarine Study

2011-01-24T10:01:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a while since we've completed a study, right? Well, there are all sorts of excuses...holidays, life, blah, blah. Don't fret, though, I don't think kids know how to not learn, so even when we didn't officially have a unit focus we were still reading and experiencing...and climbing trees! Very important skill.

That's Jace's head sticking out the top of the tree.

But, over the last few weeks we've been working on getting back into the swing of our routine. The kids were very interested in learning more about submarines, with Dada being on one and all. When we were in Georgia we visited the submarine museum there and the kids really enjoyed it. They even remembered some of what we saw and learned. Love when that happens! We intended to go to the sub museum here in Washington as part of our study but never made it. There are excuses for that too...blah, blah, blah! We'll get there in the next few weeks...sometime.

So, what did we do? As always we read a lot. Our three favorite library books were:

Submarines: Underwater Stealth, by Michael Teitelbaum

Nuclear Submariners, by Antony Loveless

Submarines, by Kevin Doyle

They had great pictures and lots of information. And the information was broken up into short segments not long, boring paragraphs. We also spend possibly too much time at Barnes and Noble. Tyler loves the train table and there are lots of books to read and look through! They had a great one there, Submarines UP Close, by Andra Serlin Abramson, with even more pictures...some at actual size!

We also made some drawings, went and looked at the submarine monument on base (again, we looked at it during our monument study too), and made a flip book. Here are some pictures of the kids working of our submarine fact book...

After writing this is doesn't seem like our (what turned into a) three week unit was all that meaty. But the kids really did get a lot out of it. The reasons it took more than the original one week planed were two fold...there was a snow day and I could see how much they really wanted to read more and more. We read each of our library books more than once and they loved it. Jace read them on his own too. I'm sure it helped them feel closer to Dada. But they also learned a lot about how submarines work, the different types of submarines, what the submariners do out to sea and during off crew. It was a great study!

(If you'd like to read about our other units...check here for a list.)

Things You Didn't Know You Wanted To Know

2011-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

I might be something of an exhibitionist. I don't run around exposing me body to others, but here I am on my blog...exposing the rest of me! Or not. I might be looking at this a little more deeply than I need to. Such is life.

Anyway...every so often I feel the need to share randomness about our lives. Sometimes I let you know little things the kids have said.

For example, as we were leaving Barnes and Noble the other day I asked Jace to get the door. His response was, "I don't know how to undrill it." Before I responded with, "What are you talking about?" I let it seep in for a minute. I often have to do that with him. His brain is much more complex than mine. Did you get it? I did, after he added, "Besides, it's too heavy to carry." So smart.

Other times I present a list of little known facts, like this:

Cleaning hair out of the drain is one of my least favorite tasks. So, I wash my hair and catch as much hair as possible on my hands and stick it to the side of the shower wall. When I'm done showering I throw it away. I hope this doesn't gross you out, but I prefer it to long hairs clogging the drain.
I get overly excited when I finish a bottle of shampoo, lotion, soap...anything! I love getting to try a new scent.
Tyler has started sleeping in Jace's bed with him most nights. They actually sleep and don't play and Jace doesn't mind, so I let them. Mama's sweet boys.
Almost every day I have an egg over easy with bacon. I eat it out of a bowl with a spoon. I add leftover veggies, brussel spouts, avocado, mushrooms, onions, and/or salsa. I could probably eat this twice a day...but that seems like a bit much. So good.

Today I'm also going to update and/or remind you of a few things.

I currently have 44 followers (yay!). When I reach 50 there will be a giveaway. So, tell your friends!
I added music to my blog, pretty excited about that. Enjoy.
The kids started off great with our Help Wanted Poster. The last few weeks, though, they've totally lost interest. I've taken out all the recycling and they haven't wanted to do anything else on the list for money. I'm a little bummed, because they were being so helpful. Gracie still loves doing dishes with me, but that's not even on the list! I reminded them today, though, so we'll see what happens.

So, there ya have it! A whole mess of this and that! Hope it completes your lazy Saturday like nothing else could. If not, how about this?

St. Augustine, FL
April 2010

Friday Fill-In #27

2011-01-21T01:37:00.000-08:00

1.What do you usually want to know about someone when meeting them for the first time?
Honestly, I don't think I want to know anything specific the first time I meet someone. I just want to visit, let the conversation flow. But the second meeting...that's when I start to pry! Not really. But based on what happened at the first meeting, I may have some follow up questions at future meetings.

2.Would you rather know everything about your spouse, or be regularly surprised?
Can I say both? Scott and I grew up together, there isn't much we don't know about each other. But there are still surprises as we grow even more, together and individually. I like knowing we can always discover new things and have a solid foundation together.

3.If you could live in one city for the rest of your life, where would you live?
Isn't that the million dollar question? Scott and I have thrown around many ideas and still don't know where we'll retire to after his Navy career is over. We're not even sure when that will be...but that's another question. There are things we love about Washington and talk about retiring here. The one big thing it's missing here, though, is family. And we like our family...so we'll probably head back to New York. We may settle someplace in the Rochester to Syracuse to Adirondacks area...is that specific enough?

4.When you go out of town, what one material thing do you ALWAYS take?
my purse?

5.Using no more than 10 nouns, and ONLY nouns, describe yourself.
I really like this twist on describing myself. Let me see...
wife
mother
daughter
sister
blogger
planner
supporter
friend
teacher
learner

As always, go see what everyone else has to say...

Mixing It Up!

2011-01-20T00:08:00.000-08:00

So, I was perusing the new books section at the library last week and found a fascinating book called The Wisdom of Your Child's Face, by Jean Hanner. What really caught my eye was the subtitle: "Discover Your Child's True Nature with Chinese Face Reading." The Chinese face reading part wasn't anything I'd ever heard of, but discovering my children's true natures...that sounded great! I mean, I spend all day, every day with them. Knowing their personalities, tendencies, differences in what nature has provided them might come in handy.

What have I discovered with this cool find? That Chinese face reading probably takes years to master. I've had the book for about a week. I don't have it down yet. Here are the basics, though...the Chinese believe that our faces give hints of our futures and tell the tales of our pasts. In our faces can be seen our personalities, our hardships, our joys. Some of it is a little hard to accept at face value, if you will. But I love the idea of it.

Chinese face reading uses the shapes of our eyes, brows, hairlines, ears, chins, noses, even the little spot between the upper lip and nose, which I learned is called the philtrum, to determine which of the Five Elements are expressed most strongly in us. The book is broken into sections for each of the Elements. Within each section, the writing begins with anecdotes of children whose personalities are of that Element then moves on to tell which traits can be seen in a child who matches up. I found myself nodding as I read through a few of them...

"Yes, this is Gracie!"

"Oh my goodness...that's so me!"

"OK. No question here...this is Jace."

Tyler was a little less clear, perhaps because he's so young yet. But I still think I know which Element is his, at least for now. Hanner states that one element may be stronger in a child's face and personality early on, but then may change as they grow. Also, there may be more than one Element at the forefront of their personalities. So, here's what I think we've got going on...

I believe I'm of the Earth. That Element's temperament is mothering (duh!), stable, patient, and diplomatic. I think that fits me.

Scott is Wood, I think. Wood personalities tend to be direct, focused, strong, hard-working, yet flexible.

Metal fits Jace. These people tend to be visionaries, determined, persistent, and organized.

Without a doubt, Gracie is Fire. She's dynamic and bright free spirit and a lover.

Tyler was a little tricky, as I said. But I think he might be lean toward Water, except that he does not like to be in water, unless it's the tub. In Georgia he'd stand out in that insane heat and walk around the pool while the rest of us cooled off in the water. The traits associated with water, though, are flexibility and calmness. I also see a lot of Fire in him too. So, I don't really know.

Even though I don't have Tyler figured out for sure, I do know that we've got a lot of personality going on!

And, what am I taking from this exercise? Well, I heard one time that people who are great in their fields had parents who didn't hold them back. What if Barbara Walter's parents had shut her up every time she talked? Or Oprah's? What if a famous dancer (I don't know any names off the top of my head) was told to sit down every time he or she jumped off the couch. What is Bill Gates wasn't allowed to stick his head in a book or open his own lemonade stand? (I don't know if he ever really had a stand as a child...just saying...)

Ever since hearing that insight I've hoped I'm not hampering Gracie's spirit when I ask her not to laugh so hard. I hope I'm not holding Jace back by telling him that he's not going to have a slew of people join his adventure club. Hanner's book gave me another lens to look at their personalities through, another way of understanding their true natures. Hopefully with these new descriptions of my children I can support them even more...somehow. I can allow Jace his dreams of inventing everything from jet packs to a make-my-parents-let-me-do-what-I-want-inators. I can hopefully encourage Gracie's love of dance, gymnastics, singing, and, of course, dressing pretty. Tyler just wants to "play all day." Doable.

As always, I'm looking for little ways, new philosophies, ideas and suggestions...whatever can help me be the best mother I can be* right now for these incredible kids. Knowing which of the Five Elements each of my children expresses is another entry in my bag of tricks.

*Um...yeah...I'm totally an Earth Element mama!

On a Tangent

2011-01-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

Mathematically speaking, a tangent is the single point where a line intersects a circle. I'm going through a tangent right now...but a pretty impressive one. For the purposes of this post, let's say circles are synonymous with cycles and that my life is like a line. So where does my life intersect two circles at the one place they meet? Read on...

In life there are many cycles. The two most prominent in my life right now are my menstrual cycle and the emotional cycle of deployment (ECD) (that I mentioned in this post). I know, now you're totally nervous to read this post, aren't you! Fear not, I'm not talking about anything that will make you squeamish, just highlighting where I am emotionally.

So, as I was saying...my menstrual cycle...I didn't used to have all of the not so joyful emotional mood swings you sometimes hear about. Until a year or so ago I floated through this cycle is my life without too much hassle. I had friends who talked about how angry or sad they'd get during certain times of the month and I tried not to doubt them, but I had no idea what they were so upset about. Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) wasn't something I identified with at all. Then, after Tyler was done nursing and my period worked itself into a new normal cycle my emotions definitely started to fluctuate with it.

At first I was a bit entertained. How did I have so little control over the almost rage I'd feel surge over minor things, like realizing I'd forgotten my drink in the kitchen after I just sat down in the living room? I wondered why I'd break into tears over nothing, like spilled milk, if you don't mind the cliche. It was amazing to me but, month by month, became more troublesome and less fascinating. I think I now know what PMS* is. I'm pretty sure I'd rather have been left in the dark, wondering what the big deal was.

(*Wikipedia says that PMS can also be called PMT - Premenstrual Tension. I think I like that better. I like feeling like I could relax the extremes away.)

Over the past few months I've found ways to manage my emotional messiness, but it's still there. And I'm right there, right now.

As for the ECD I'm solidly in stage three - Emotional Disorganization. (See where this is headed?) My favorite line from the link provided says that, "Wives often report feeling restless (though not productive), confused, disorganized, indecisive, and irritable." I have to laugh at that. Is someone watching me right now? And I love that they point out "not productive." Sweet.

OK, now I'm just being sarcastic. But seriously, you see the tangent I'm in the midst of right now, right? I'm irritable, indecisive, and not productive while reacting irrationally and extremely to most every situation. I'm a riot!

I see it this way, though. If this is a true tangent (and I'm praying that it is) it shouldn't happen again. Yes, I'll go through the cycle of deployment again and I'll feel the tension of my menstrual cycle. But I really hope that they will not intersect in the same way again. But, if you see me out in public in sweats and my unwashed hair in a frayed pony tail...well, I might be here again. The good news is - I haven't bitten any one's head completely off. Yet. So you might be OK.

Day Book (January 17, 2011)

2011-01-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...it's dark and cool. Night has fallen, but it is taking longer each day for that to happen. Spring is slowly on her way.

I am thinking...that I should get ready for bed and follow closely behind Jace.

I am thankful for...loving children, good friends.

From the learning rooms...where are those again? We've fallen out of practice a bit and are working on getting back into the swing of things. Today we did some verbal math drills in the car, does that count?

From the kitchen...our meals are wonderfully primal. Our snacking is still out of hand, in part because we're not home for some reason. But we're cooking together still and enjoying that experience.

I am wearing...my husband's Navy sweats, pretty much what I live in at home now. I do have socks and a bright pink t-shirt on as well!

I am creating...space to play and read with my children without distraction.

I am going...several different directions. Everything on my plate is important to me, and honestly I don't feel like I've taken on too much, but there is a lot there. Don't worry, though...there's always room for dessert!

I am reading...The Wisdom of Your Child's Face, by Jean Harner. It's fascinating. Turns out that Gracie's full of fire! No real surprise there, huh?

I am hoping...that the rest of the week isn't stressful with everything that's going on.

I am hearing...a commercial and the hum of the computer.

Around the house...Tyler is sleeping, Gracie is not, although she should be, and Jace is playing until his bedtime.

One of my favorite things...not feeling alone.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Probably the most exciting is that we're going to drive the truck this week, starting tomorrow! Other than that we have meetings, errands, hopefully some school gets done.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

A piece of artwork created by a friend of mine from high school, John Paul Gelser.

Military Monday Blog Hop

2011-01-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

Another set of questions (love them) and another way to meet more military families online (love that too). Welcome to Military Monday Blog Hop!

This little festival of friendly fun is brought to you by

and

I, however, learned about it through one of my favorite, peace filled, and thought provoking sites:

So, visit them one and all! Join in the blog hop (that's always fun!) or just find new people to follow, laugh, and cry with. Either way...enjoy your time here and I hope to see you again soon!

Now, for my Q&A.

1. Tell us about the name of your blog...

I enjoy writing and I'm pretty transparent. My blog title, Live it. Love it (or not). Write about it., reflects those things. You can find posts on here about everything from our Navy life and how we raise our kids to eating and living healthfully. I also do review of our homeschooling units and through in crazy things the kids say and do!

2. Where are you from?
Born and raised in Western New York and married the boy down the road. After spending the first six years of our marriage in Washington state, and being back here again, this feels like home too.

3. Why do you blog?

Because I enjoy writing, sharing stories, and letting others know it's OK not to be perfect! I try to write about all aspects of our lives and maybe someone else reads something and they can identify with it. I know I like feeling less alone in my crazy world, it's my goal to provide that comfort for others as well. Plus, it lets our family and friends who don't see us all the time keep up with what's going on in our lives!

4. Do you have any blogging goals for this year?

Nothing formal. I just want to keep doing it. Maybe in a few years I'll want to make something more of this outlet, but for now it's a great release for me and not a job. We'll see where it takes me...

Just a Little FYI

2011-01-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

So, I've been thinking for some time about doing a give away. I still haven't decided what that give away will be. But I have figured out when! That's exciting for me.

I just realized I have 41 followers. Who knew!? When I hit 50 followers I'll post the give away details! So, tell your friends and lets see how quickly we can get to 50!

(By the way...if I don't notice that I've hit 50 followers and you do because you're on the edge of your seat waiting to see what I come up with next...just send me a message or comment to draw my attention to that fact. Thanks!)

Can I get a "Woo hoo!!"?

Friday Fill-In #26

2011-01-14T00:15:00.000-08:00

It's been a while! Between Wifey's holiday and homecoming break and my bread for no good reason other than life took over...I haven't been very consistent with these little questionnaires. But, I think I'm ready to be back at it! Woo hoo!

1.What are you looking forward to most in 2011? from Jessica Lynn Writes

Visitors. As a family of five we're not going to be flying home (WA to NY) on a whim anytime soon. So, I'm really excited to see the family that can come see us here. We've got several on the books for March and April and hopefully some more this summer!

2.What is something random you do on a boring night when your significant other is away? from Lovin Ma Soldier

You mean other than answer questions on my blog? Seriously, though, I do that even when he is around. So, something I do when he's not around...I watch a lot of Dateline, 48 Hours, Real Forensics...that sort of thing. They're not his favorites and I am simply amazed by how screwed up people can be.
3.What has been your greatest adventure as a MilSpouse? from Misadventures of An Army Momma

I feel like right now is my greatest adventure. Only recently have I realized that I'm in a unique position. I'm an officer's wife, he's prior enlisted, and I'm on the FRG board. Bottom line? I have a lot of people to interact with and a lot of avenues to try when working towards improvements. I don't fit a stereotype (that I know of) and that's perfect for who I try to be.

4.What is the ugliest fashion trend you ever bought into (I’d like to make fun of you, so can you please provide a picture as well)? from More Than An Army Wife

I don't know about ugly, but perhaps behind the times. In middle and high school (early and mid 90's) we were reluctant to let go of the 80's and boldly blended our grunge with our leg warmers!
5.What was the high point of last month?

Last month had a high point? Honestly it was a rough month. I don't even want to think about it long enough to pick out a high point, so I'll just focus on the future.

Don't forget to go check out other people's answers and join in yourself! See ya next week!

Quotes From Today

2011-01-13T23:30:00.000-08:00

"But, Mama...we're always touching something."

***********

"We are not a family of petite feet. Sorry."

***********

"Why is Tyler crying over getting a shot? It's not like he's getting shot by a gun."

***********

(Recognizing the number 3)

"This is three like me."

***********

"I think I just saw our gymnastics teacher in the awesome store."

(This is how Jace refers to Victoria's Secret.)

"Very nice. We're not going to say hello."

"Why not? Is it because she's looking at underwear?"

"Yes, yes it is."

***********

"Don't tell Dada we're having ice cream for dinner. He'll be mad."

"No he won't! He'll be jealous. We still shouldn't tell him."

***********

"You can't have alcohol for snack."

Lighthearted Randomness

2011-01-11T10:24:00.000-08:00

I realized today that I've been pretty heavy on here lately...all this talk of missing my husband, helping the kids deal with patrol, matters of faith and heart...

It all has it's place, but it's time for something to maybe leave a smile on your face, and mine. So, here are some random facts or realizations from our recent lives.

1. My random number of exaggeration has been 42 recently. I'm not sure why but I keep hearing myself say things like, "I've already told you 42 times..." or "I'll be right there. Just give me a minute or 42." I don't know the significance of it.

2. String cheese gets stuck in the barrel of a Nerf gun. The good news is that putting darts in and pulling the trigger repeatedly will dislodge said cheese stick, at least if it's not a whole one. A whole one might require more. But pieces are dislodged, shot across a room, picked up and eaten.

3. Massages that require icing afterwards not only leave you sore, but also have you sitting up straighter, meaning you need to adjust the rear view mirror before driving.

4. Increased water pressure and too much toilet paper can lead to overflowing toilets.

5. It takes approximately 42 days for mail to get from GA to WA.*

*I may be exaggerating slightly, but probably not all that much. Seriously.

6. It is possible to return a book to the library and for it to not get scanned in, even though the librarian I spoke to thought that preposterous. But when she came back on the phone and admitted the book was on the shelf, she found this situation so amazing that she suggested I buy a lotto ticket - I was that lucky! I didn't.

7. Apparently parts of the recliner I'm sitting in are held together with Velcro. Tyler's found it. Lovely.

8. Preparations have begun for birthday celebrations (May and June). Tyler would like a Dukes cake or Thomas cupcakes. Gracie would like a Fancy Nancy princess cake and a horse for a present. Jace would like either a cake shaped like the General Lee or a Navy SEALs cake. He's leaning toward the SEALs cake with water, land and "little cake guys with M20 rifles." I should be thankful he's not asking for helicopters in the air too.

9. Gracie can come up with a new ailment every night in order to get out of bed and get me out of my chair to check out what ever's wrong. Here are some examples...toe hurts, foot hurts, knee hurts, throat hurts, bottom hurts, head hurts...yeah, mine too. Go to bed.

10. Many people ask for more hours in the day. I think I'd like less. If there were more I'd need to function for longer, fit more in, get more done. I definitely think fewer hours are in order.

There you have it...a little peek into our world. Hope you have a wonderfully random, short day, filled with dreams, cheese, and Nerf guns!

be

2011-01-10T21:33:00.000-08:00

"Be still and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10

I don't think I realized that this psalm was probably in my heart when I picked my theme word for 2011.

A little back story...I went to college at St. Bonaventure University. Associated with the school was Mt. Irenaeus, a mountain retreat run by some friars and open to everyone for prayer, reflection, peace, and always a good meal! Fr. Dan Riley is one of the friars who not only helps keep the Mountain be everything it can be, but he also is involved with several programs on campus. He was a mentor of mine in many ways and even married Scott and I. And he has been known to quote this psalm and break it down.

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be still

So, there you have it...God's speaking to me using fond memories and new technology. He sure knows how to get to me, doesn't He? Especially when I'm not even looking for it.

So, I want to focus on being this coming year, including being more present and intentional in several aspects of my life...like my writing, my children, my faith. So, how'm I doing?

Well, as you can see...I'm writing. I'm not sure "how'm" is really great writing, but it's what you're going to get these days! Seriously, though, I haven't done anything to be more present and intentional in my writing. To meet that goal I like to begin writing for publication and submitting. Without those two steps, I'm never going to get published. So, I'll get a move on...some time. Not yet. And I'm good with that. I can only handle so much at once and I'm handling a few other things at the moment. I'll be more in my writing before the end of the year. Promise.

My children...well, I think I'm doing pretty well there. We've sat and watched movies together, without my being on the computer. We've turned off the television and played with toys or read books without distraction. We've gone a a few family walks. Things are improving there, not huge differences, but subtle ones that mean something to me.

My faith is still a work in progress, as faith often is. I don't know what religion I identify most with. I actually took an online quiz to see where my beliefs placed me. I know...pretty sad, right? But the thing is that I kind of feel like I've tried to squeeze into the rules of Catholicism and it hasn't fit right for a long time. So I thought I'd go from the other direction. The top three answers I got were Protestant, Unitarian Universalist, and Neo-Pagan. I haven't done much with that yet...but it's a start.

I do have to say, though, that today's realization that Fr. Dan's breakdown of psalm 46:10 tells me something. I'm not sure what, yet, other than He's listening. He's there. He hasn't walked from me and knows I haven't walked from Him. I also think, maybe, God's telling me it's perfectly acceptable to only tackle what I can handle. I might just be reading into things since this is one of those weeks where I'll be taking one day at a time...looking too far ahead is stressing me a bit. So, in terms of my faith...I think it's OK with God if I'm simply at be and not sure what my path is to "Be still and know that I am God."

I'll work my way there though, in time.

Be still

Be still and know

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know that I am God

How Do You Do It: Missing Dada

2011-01-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I wrote a post about how much I love my husband, Scott, even though he many not be Prince Charming. Today I thought I'd focus on his role as daddy, or in our house - Dada. He's pretty special there too. All three kids love their father. Tyler even admits it sometimes, but not always. He's probably more like Scott than either Jace or Gracie, and he gives him the hardest time. It's quite humorous from the outside. And I don't think Scott takes it too personally. Thank goodness. But, when a father is loved, picked on, and looked up too so much, how do you handle a patrol?

For those who aren't submariners or family members, patrols are about a three month period where Scott is basically out of touch. He isn't gone for a year or 15 months, like some deployments overseas. He's not even gone for six to nine months, like surface ships and their fleets. The biggest difference, in my opinion, is that we have no contact with him. I can send emails. They go out and might get to him, might not. He may or may not have a chance to send a quick note back. But, there are no phone calls, no regular contact via email or postal mail. And we're in the midst of a patrol now.

So, how did Scott and I prepare the kids for missing Dada?

Some families actually video tape bedtime stories or hello messages. We didn't do that, but we did get a recordable book called All The Ways I Love You, that Scott recorded for them. We read it twice the first night he left and several times since. Gracie and Tyler have each pulled it down on their own and read it. Jace hasn't, that I've seen, but he will go sit next to the other two when they're reading it.

We got a selection of cards for the kids to open up every week or so. They're in the "missing you" and "thinking of you" vein. Today we opened out first and it talked about sending a hug for every day of the week. The kids are saving up hugs now for Dada when he returns! Hope he's ready!

I got the kids "daddy" shirts to wear when they miss him.

"Navy Kid
Toughest job in the Navy"

"My daddy plays in the water"

"Sailor's little girl"

They love their shirts. Before the next patrol we night need to get another option because I'm doing a lot of laundry making sure their shirts are clean and ready to be worn!

And, tonight, Jace and I made submarines for dinner. They were messy, but totally fun! Basically, I cooked up some link sausages and let them cool enough to touch. Jace mixed up some pancake mix, but didn't add all the liquid. We then smooshed the pancake mixture around the sausages and baked in the frying pan.

What do you think? We only made eight and they made the rest of the batter, with added water, into regular pancakes. The submarines were messy to make!

But they were totally fun to eat! Jace thought it would be fun to get a black edible marker and paint them black like a real sub and then write "730" on them! (The USS HENRY M. JACKSON is #730 and is Scott's boat.) I think he's quite creative, but I'm glad they're nicely browned and not black!

So, that's what we do...not too much, not too little. We talk about Dada all the time. We look at pictures and share memories about him, much the same way we do with Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles, cousins, friends. We have a lot of loved ones who don't live near us...we make them a part of our lives in little ways, even if they don't know it! We do the same for Scott. We joke about what he might be eating for lunch when we go to the mall and get Kataluma Chai shakes. We wonder if he gets to watch Dukes of Hazzard at night. And we make plans for when he gets back...hiking, playing choo choo, cuddling, reading books. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we cry. All of it's perfectly acceptable here.

We miss Dada. Nothing wrong with that! And there are lots of ways to miss him, but this is how we're doing it. How do you you handle your kids missing their loved ones?

Prince Charming

2011-01-08T23:15:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine recently mentioned arranged marriages. The first thought I had was a comment my mom made when I was in 5th grade. I'd never thought of it as her arranging anything, but she definitely put the thought in my mind and if my parents had been in the business of arranging marriages, they may have actually chosen the same way I did.

See, in 5th grade I liked two boys: Joe Marcin and Scott Gebel.

It depended on the week who I liked more. But one day my mom and I must have been talking about who I liked and she mentioned Scott and I said, "What? Scott? No way. He's too boring. I like Joe."

I don't think I could see Mom's face, but it was a while ago so I can't say for sure. But I feel like I heard her smile more than I saw it when she responded, "You're probably going to end up marrying Scott."

I don't know how the rest of that chit chat went. I probably said, "Whatever!" and walked away. That sounds like something a pre-teen would do. Most likely I rolled my eyes too.

A few years later those swimmers shoulders and too-tight jeans had my attention. Joe was still a good friend, but never anything more. But, Scott...he became more. He probably was way back in middle school when Mom first planted that seed.

In the movies Prince Charming often wears armor or a cape. He's riding a brilliant steed or driving a fancy car. And always...he's charming. Scott is many things...but charming probably isn't one of the adjectives others would use to describe him. He's direct, honest, confident, loyal, smart, strong, motivated, loving. He's more than I could have asked for. In fact, he's more than I thought I was getting! He's incredible, truly, but not necessarily charming. He'll likely never think of a candlelit dinner as his ideal date night. He rarely buys me flowers or jewelry. And I'd have to really beg to get him to take me to a play.

Perhaps he's not Prince Charming.

Perhaps.

I did fall in love with him over pizza and wings and Euchre games. He did smell like the farm for many years and break up with me days before our senior trip. He may like to watch Two and A Half Men because Charlie makes him look good. This is the man who chose me.

Or, as my dad is fond of saying, I chased him until he caught me.

Even though he may not be Hollywood's idea of perfection and charm...he's mine. There's not a better match out there for me. There's not a man who could hold my attention like Scott does. No matter what you call him, what adjectives you use, he's my match, my mate, my friend, my love.

My husband.

And, by the way...I'm no princess.

But today, tomorrow, and always...I'll be Scott's wife.

To Teach or Not To Teach?

2011-01-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I attended a conference about unschooling. I thought I wrote about it on here, but I've poured over my posts and can't seem to find anything about it! Hmm...wonder why that is. It might be because I was a little scared by the concept after I heard from the radical unschoolers on the panel.

I went to the conference because I was intrigued by the idea of letting learning take place when and where it takes place. Come to find out, there's a spectrum of ideas under the umbrella of unschooling, and my thoughts about it barely dipped my toes in the water. The men and women on the panel allow their kids to choose what they eat and when they eat it, when they go to bed, or not. In radical unschooling, "no" isn't heard very often. I knew that that sort of thing wasn't my style and wouldn't work in our homeschool. But I still liked the idea of letting the children's interests lead us.

I've said from the beginning that our style was interest led unit studies, so I guess the conference didn't change me too much, but it did make me aware of different styles out there and possibly more aware of all the things my kids pick up even without my trying.

This past week the kids have shown how well they learn when they're interested. Jace loves all things military these days...and the last several months, possibly years. Anyway, he gets at least one book from the library every time we go on tanks, submarines, special forces, etc. At a pancake breakfast a week ago he got all the kids together to form the KF, Kid Forces. That way they could take us adults down if we got out of hand. He's totally into it!

So, this past week we've been learning about submarines. Dada is out to sea and Gracie wanted to know more about his boat and I didn't figure Jace would mind. We read about many different kinds of subs, some that carry SEALs, who then get out and swim to their destinations. There was a little blurb about the SEALs. I started to read it and then I asked Jace before I read it when the SEALs were started. "1962," he said, without having to think very hard. Then he went on to tell me that SEALs stands for SEa, Air, and Land. Did you know that?

And Gracie, may not have known that yet, although she probably does now, but she is picking things up too. Her reading is improving by leaps and bounds. In fact that seems to be how she makes her progress. She seems really interested in reading sometimes and then looses interest for a while. I haven't pushed it when she's been less interested. This morning, out of the blue, she asked if she could read me a book, instead of her normal request for me to read to her. I said, "Sure."

She grabbed a library book. It was one that I'd seen her with, but I hadn't read to her yet. She sat on my lap and read me the book! I was so proud.

I think it just goes to show...schooling, homeschooling, unschooling...following a curriculum, preparing unit studies, or setting them free...teaching or not teaching...they'll learn. I love it! They're learning!

I get so excited every time I realize it over again! They're really learning. Probably not everything their counterparts are in Kindergarten and second grade. Maybe not more, maybe not less. I don't really know. But they're definitely learning. I'm giving their teacher a gold star.

A Few Little Stories...

2011-01-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated you lately on the kids. So, I thought I'd give you a few glimpses into our life lately.

Jace was reading a book he got for Christmas that tells how kids have played a part in history (Kids Make History: A New Look at America's Story, but Susan Buckley and Elspeth Leacock). He asked me if I remembered anything about September 11, 2001. Earlier he had asked if I remember 1963, but I set him straight. I don't remember the dinosaurs either. Anyway, I told him about my day on 9/11. The short version is that I woke up here in Washington and turned the television on to news coverage of the towers going down. I knew Scott would be busy at work and figured we were far enough from everything that life as usual would be going on. So, I went to school. I was in grad school at the time. In our classes there we discussed all sorts of issues around the attacks and our feelings and fears. Then, on my way home, Scott called and we went out to dinner and called our families to tell them we were OK. We hadn't gone straight home because we lived on base and the lines to get on the base were crazy long. After I shared my memories Gracie commented, "That was a long day!"

I replied that it was, "But, there were many people who had even longer days - wondering where their loved ones were or helping to search the ruins of the buildings."

Jace didn't skip a beat, "Yeah, but it was a really short day for the people that died. The first plane hit the tower at 8:46 am."

Of course, he was right.

******

A friend off the boat was over last night and Gracie asked her, "Did you know my mom and dad have only been married for a decade?"

My friend said, "Really? Only a decade, huh?"

******

Tyler's talking more and more. I'm understanding him less and less. If he says just one sentence I can usually figure it out, most times. But when he goes on and on, which he sometimes does when he's really excited about something, I just stare at him blankly. When I do that though he gets a little exasperated with me. He'll sigh heavily and shout, "Mama! Listen me." I'm pretty sure if he could snap his fingers he would. Once he's gotten the glazed over look out of my eyes he'll start talking again. "K. Jay an Seesee play downstair with lo. Day play with my Buzz Light lo and me want play. Me go downstair play lo. You play lo me?" (Translation: "Jace and Gracie are playing downstairs with Legos. They're playing with my Buzz Lightyear Legos and I want to play. I'm going downstairs to play with my Legos. Do you want to play with me?" And that was an easy one!)

I've got some paperwork to fill out to get Tyler an IEP and an evaluation to see if he needs more speech therapy. I'll keep you posted.

******

I feel like there are more stories to share, but I'm tired and need some beauty sleep, which is more for a pretty mood in the morning than anything else, but it's still vitally important!

The kids are good...they're funny as ever and when not driving me nuts, keep my smiling.

Self-reflection and Thanks

2011-01-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies, ladies...thank you so much for the pats on the back and the encouragement. I really don't think I'm a horrible mother. I do, however, think I have not-so-great moments. I'm human. What can I say?

I am very thankful that you all responded so quickly and with such certainty that my kids are in good hands. Here's a little bit of an email my dearest friend sent me after reading my confession:

You want to know why you're a Super Mom? Because after you got done scolding your kids and making them pick up, you went upstairs and realized you'd perhaps vented a little misplaced frustration and realized that your kids are just being kids (and not bad ones), you cried because you're a Super Mom. Unsuper Moms don't realize those things. Unsuper Moms tromp upstairs and fume about their pain in the ass kids and absent husbands. If Unsuper Moms cry it's because they realize they can't off their offspring without being caught, and they're stuck with them for years to come, and it's only going to get worse. Super Moms accept hugs from their 5 yr olds and wonder if they're doing irreparable damage...which you're not. If your kids end up in therapy because of you, its going to be for something you do years from now....I can guarantee you haven't earned Unsuper-status yet and aren't going to any time soon. I'm betting on no parentally-earned therapy for your kids, period.

I love that she doesn't discount the idea that I could do something in the future that will put my kids in therapy! Her support is laden with humor! However, I think I might agree with what she's getting at. I don't claim to be super anything, really, but I do think that there is something to realizing our mistakes. Even in the moments where I haven't known what to do with a certain parenting situation and I thought I might be at my wits end, I haven't wanted to give them up. I do love these three monkeys. I do love their father. It's a good thing.

And I like that I'm honest with the kids. I think it's a good thing that I can admit to them when I've made a mistake or when the strength of my yelling wasn't quite proportionate with the transgression they committed. I even think I'm getting better at letting go of the frustration and moving on to play Legos, read books, watch movies...have fun with the kids again. I have noticed how quickly the kids move past being in trouble and I'm making a conscious effort (being intentional in 2011) to do so as well.

I've always been honest with the kids about my emotions, which are many! They know that sometimes I don't want to read a book because I'm tired and sometimes its because I'm lazy and sometimes its because I'm annoyed. They also know that in five or ten minutes they can ask if I'm still feeling that way and I'm probably not and will likely read them a book. So, even when Scott's gone, I'm not "strong for them," as some people try to be. Instead, they know that I'm sad, that I miss him, and that crying about it sometimes is OK. It's perfectly acceptable to wear our "daddy" shirts and talk about him. It's also OK to have fun while he's gone and share those stories with him. And we're all in it together.

Lastly, I'm making an effort to get to sleep earlier. I'm currently trying to find the balance between a little kid-free me time after their bedtimes and the longer amount of time it takes me to actually get to sleep without Scott. It's a tricky balance. I am also over my cravings for Mt. Dew, which is spectacular to say. I know some of you thought I was being a little hard on myself for having this one little vice. But it wasn't little and it wasn't one. It was a daily habit (often more than one a day) in a diet that is reasonably healthy otherwise. And the cycle of caffeine, including the crash, was not something that I enjoyed. I much prefer healthy eating, adequate sleep, and stable moods. I'm sure the kids do too! So, we're well on our way to "back on track" with that!

OK, one more thing...

I didn't write yesterday's post to fish for parenting compliments. I like to be real. I am real. I want to put myself out there so other parents, spouses, whomever reads my writings know that they're not alone. We all shine sometimes and we all need a lot of polishing other times. Thank you for all rubbing you guys do! Hopefully I can help you put a little gleam in your armor when you need it too!

"Tell me about your relationship with your mother..."

2011-01-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

I know it's not always the mother that is the root of all mental health issues, but lately I feel like it is going to be me that the kids will have deep seeded issues they'll need to work out on some one's couch some day. Does anyone still use a couch? Probably...probably those that cost an arm and a leg...good thing Gracie has several jobs lined up and Jace is crazy smart and Tyler's going to be a robber. That way they can pay for all the therapy I feel like I'm setting them up for.

(For the record, I don't think Tyler's going to be a robber - Jace does. I see him more as a cool high school teacher and coach.)

OK, I'm hopefully not really causing that much mental anguish, but I kind of feel like I'm a total wreck and, therefore, not being a great mama. Last night I walked downstairs to look at the classroom, which I hadn't thought about in a week and a half. I blew. I yelled every one's name and scolded them for the mess and yelled at them to clean it up. I made myself very clear that anything that was in my way this morning when I came down to teach them would get put in a garbage bag and thrown into the garbage bin. Then I stomped upstairs immediately regretting the yelling, what I said, how I said it.

Our classroom is also our playroom. There are Legos (a lot of Legos) that are allowed to stay out and set up on a coffee table very near our classroom table. So, obviously, when not kept in check, the little Lego men expand their lands under the table and on the table and wherever else they can think of. It only makes sense. And Gracie likes to color and those materials are in a cart right next to the table too. So, again, when not kept in check, they'll get left on the table and dropped on the floor. I haven't been checking. The kids are 7, 5, and 3 years old...they haven't been caring. Of course the table is covered and the floor is covered. Of course.

Of freakin' course!

So I cried. I haven't been sleeping well, although not for lack of trying. I miss my husband more than I thought I would, which probably sounds bad, but honestly he hasn't been around much the last few months anyway, so I didn't think his not being around at all would hurt so much. That probably doesn't sound any better. Anyway, I'm also trying to kick the treats of the holidays and my old friend Mt. Dew to the curb and might be suffering from withdrawal. Whatever the reasons...I cried.

And Gracie came up from cleaning up the classroom and gave me a big hug, and apologized for frustrating me by not picking up her toys. The first thing that came to mind was the fact that abused women often apologize to their abusers for 'making them' so angry. That's when I thought that it may not always be the mom, but in our case it might be.

And, while I sit here writing this, Tyler is sitting next to me counting the letters on my shirt. (I didn't know he could count to six!) And then he asked me what my t-shirt says.

SUPER MOM

SUPER WIFE

SUPER TIRED

That's the shirt...and when I read it to him? You guessed it - I cried! See? I'm a wreck! I don't feel super anything...except tired. That definitely describes me these days.

So, what's my point? I don't want to be the reason my kids seek therapy in the future, but I fear that life isn't always about what I want. Bummer, huh?

It IS Worth It

2010-12-31T23:11:00.000-08:00

I just read this: Domestic Diva's Vision for 2011. I recommend it. It was a wonderful read and a great reminder that the role of mother (or father for that matter) IS worth all that it takes out of us.

I'm one of those parents that needs to be reminded sometimes, actually frequently, that I'm actually doing something! Luckily I am reminded often and in many ways.

The other night when I tucked Jace into bed he asked if I noticed that he tells me he loves me every night. Of course I do! It's one of those things that makes my world seem right. And he's constantly looking for his opportunity to cuddle mama. Even when I feel like I've been rubbed raw with his annoyances all day long, that fact is not lost on me.

I've heard many times over the years how well behaved our children are. Hearing that has always helped me realize that I am doing something for them. By being home with them I am making a difference in their lives.

When the kids laugh or giggle, that joy in their eyes erases any doubt that I might have about being a stay at home mother.

It is easy to lose site of the meaning of our work, as stay-at-home mothers, amidst the chaos of daily life...laundry, dishes, diapers. But it's just as easy to see the reminders everywhere. You just have to chose what to look for. Consider yourself reminded! It is worth it!

One Word

2010-12-30T10:52:00.000-08:00

Have you thought about one word to describe yourself? I've been asked in interviews to use one or two words to list my best and worst qualities. I've played a few version of the ice breaker when I needed to come up with one word to tell about me. Most recently though, I read a couple blog posts that got be thinking about one word that can serve as my motivation throughout the upcoming year.

Shauna and Courtney both talk about having a concept to guide us through the year rather than setting resolutions. I haven't set New Year's resolutions in years. Scott and I are talkers and planners. We're constantly setting goals, discussing progress, and adapting. So, I don't see the need to set certain goals at certain times. Reading their posts, though, got me thinking about a motto for my year.

In 2010 Courtney's theme word was connecting. Under that umbrella she worked on connecting with God, family and her blog followers too! She's chosen simplify for 2011. I think that's a beautiful word and a wonderful theme. I think she's going to have a great year creating space to focus on the connections she's worked on this year. I was tempted to use that concept as my own, but I think I'm going to do something a little different. After all, I think I'm in the process of complicating my life rather than simplifying it...maybe that'll be next year!

Shauna's new year will revolve around love, which I think is completely appropriate. I don't know Shauna personally, but I feel like her posts are ones that ooze goodness and caring. Whenever I read something on her blog I feel inspired. I look forward to reading more about her journey this coming year to love and "doing what I can do where I can do it with all my heart and being."

So, I started by reading these two posts. I put some consideration into it. And I cheated...I've always bent the rules a little with these one word games. It started way back in 4H camp when I had to come up with an adjective that started with the first letter of my name to introduce myself with. I was at the end of the circle and wasn't sure what I was going to say until it got to me and I came up with "All of the above Annie." I know, not one word at all. But fitting.

My theme for 2011 is also not one word. But it's the carrot I want to chase this year...I want to be.

It's a little word, although big on meaning. But because it's so little I figured I might be able to get away with adding a couple others.

be present

be intentional

And those will be the focus of my 2011. I'm not 100% sure what that's going to look like yet. I do know, though, that it'll involve less time on facebook and in front of the television. I know it will involve exploring my faith more. I know it will involve focusing on the moments that pass quickly. Priorities will be determined and life will be lived. That's what I know for now.

In 2011, I will be.
What about you?
Will you love, connect, simplify, engage, organize, enjoy, hope, teach, learn, follow, shine, or maybe...be?

Sizing Things Up

2010-12-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

Tyler is three years old! I can't believe it's been three years already. It seems like not that long ago that he was keeping me up at night, nursing and cuddling. Well, not everything changes...he still cuddles with me every chance he gets.

So, we went to the doctor today for his check up. I'm going to fill out some paperwork and contact the school district to see about getting an IEP and an evaluation for speech. Other than that, though, everything looks good! He's a healthy and happy little guy. Well, the doctor didn't know he was happy because he cried and fought the whole time we were there - cheered up as soon as he got to put his jacket back on!

I don't know about you, but I always enjoy looking at how much my kids have grown over the year since their last check up and comparing their heights and weights to each other. Tyler's stats are always entertaining.

Here are pictures of Jace and Gracie when they were two years old.

"Why two?" you ask, since I'm telling you about Tyler's three year old check up.

Well, both Jace and Gracie were taller and heavier at two years old than Tyler is at three!

Tyler was the biggest at birth (9 lbs 8 ozs, compared to Jace's 7 lbs 12 ozs and Gracie's 8 lbs 11 ozs) but the littlest ever since. And he's has always had very short legs compared to his very long torso. As an example he's just getting into 2T pants but has been in 4T shirts for several months.

Tyler: at 2 years old - 23 pounds 8 ounces, 33 inches

at 3 years old - 30 pounds, 37 inches

Gracie: at 2 years old - 32 pounds, 32 3/4 inches

at 3 years old - 35 pounds, 41.5 inches

(Yes, you read that right...Gracie grew 9 inches in one year!)

Jace: at 2 years old - 31 pounds, 35 inches

at 3 years old - ??

at 4 years old - 41 pounds 12 ounces, 42 inches

(See? Even the first born gets forgotten once in a while!)

So, there's the latest measurements on Tyler and how he compares with his Amazon siblings!

Live it. Love it (or not). Write about it.

Chicken or The Egg?

More Answers to Questions Asked

I'm Awesomer Now Than I Was Then :-)

Answers, already!

Cook Book Winners and Some Background Details...

Back with a Giveaway!

The Importance of Insignificant Events

Providing More Than the Basics

Contentment

FREE Cookbook!

Being honest with me

Saved by Silence

My Life in Acronyms

Playground Parenting

Bad Hair Day

Reality Vs. Fantasy

Fantasizing about Fun Fashion!

Cakes

Slow Down

My Back Itches

Decision Making and A Decision Made

This and That

Facts About Me

Visit At Your Own Risk

My Style

Joining In!

(not so) Small Style

April Update on 2011 Motto: be

Giveaway Winner!!!

Style - What's Mine?

Homeschooling The Amazing Race

To and Fro

Giveaway!!!

Mrs. Mama

A Note From My Mom

Birthday Plans

MIA

What Makes Me Awesome

50 Followers!

All State

Sassafrass

Mixing Hormones, Emotions, and Babies

Friday Fill-In #31

Stories

Foods Around the World

Friday Fill-In #30

Valentine's Day

Luckily I'm Good Company

Taboos

Is There Anything Better?

Quick Wit

Friday Fill-In #29

Homeschool Spirit Week

Politics and Rape

Marriage Challenge

Trying New Things

Pet Names

Friday Fill-In #28

Looking Up...Looking Forward

Submarine Study

Things You Didn't Know You Wanted To Know

Friday Fill-In #27

Mixing It Up!

On a Tangent

Day Book (January 17, 2011)

Military Monday Blog Hop

Just a Little FYI

Friday Fill-In #26

Quotes From Today

Lighthearted Randomness

be

How Do You Do It: Missing Dada

Prince Charming

To Teach or Not To Teach?

A Few Little Stories...

Self-reflection and Thanks

"Tell me about your relationship with your mother..."

It IS Worth It

One Word